June 28th, 2011, 05:00 PM
His hand is bigger than her face!
It’s happening, ya’ll. Kim Kardashian is really, truly, madly, deeply, getting married to her seven foot sweetie, Kris Humphries. Now, I’m not an expert, but wouldn’t it be weird enough to marry a guy with the same name as your dad, but to marry a guy with the same name as your mom? That’s just a whole ‘nother level of strange. The wedding is set for the beginning of August–which, in wedding-speak, is right around the korner! Thought to be taking place at a private estate somewhere in Los Angeles, guests will include Kathie Lee Gifford (apparently a close friend of the family–of course she is, her name is Kathie!), who is blathering about it all over the place.
Kim has yet to pick a wedding dress, but is thought to be going with something classic and Old Hollywood-ish by Vera Wang (although why she would wear a leopard jumpsuit to meet Vera Wang is something only Kim Kardashian can explain). On her rosy toesies, Kim will wear custom designed, crystal-encrusted Christian Louboutin shoes (with the red sole, you know). Betcha the heels will be sky high to compensate for that nearly 2 foot height differential between her and Kris Humphries. I feel the need to spell his name out every time I write it, just in case someone mistakes a Kris Humphries reference for Kris Kardashian Jenner!
Don’t worry if your invitation gets lost in the mail or if you already have plans: the shindig will be filmed for a 2 hour (!) E! special to be shown sometime after it takes place. No word yet if Kim will continue Keeping Up With the Kardashians or if she’ll have her own Kim Humphries show (Kim & Kris, anyone?). The only Kardashians left will be Kourtney and Rob, so it’ll be more like Keeping Up With the Jenners (Who Want to Be Kardashians). Poor Bruce, he’ll never get any peace!.
And by the way–just in case you’re a hermit and live in a cave, Kim had her butt x-rayed to prove her bootyliciousness is for real: