Posts Tagged ‘TLC’

When Reality TV Gets Real

Posted by BRADY in Square Eyes

October 22nd, 2010, 02:02 PM

A couch…of felons!

Hey reality TV stars: you know how Dexter gets to murder people and the dudes on Breaking Bad get to brew meth right there on the TV and no one does anything about it? That’s because they are fictional characters on scripted TV shows. Just because you step in front of a camera crew does not mean you get to live by TV character laws. As much as I hate to acknowledge that there are people like most of you existing in this world, you are REAL people. So don’t be too surprised when recording your every action leads to REAL trouble!

The most obvious case in recent weeks is the cast of Sister Wives, a reality show following the lives of Kody Brown, his 3 wives, their seemingly endless stream of children, and his new girlfriend. After catching a couple episodes, I have to admit it is fairly compelling TV. And they do somehow seem to have a healthier home life than lots of other “reality” families (but then again, with Jon and Kate as the mascots of the genre it’s not hard to seem decent). But come on folks, this isn’t Big Love, where Bill Paxton gets to have all the crazy Mormon wives as he wold like. This is America, where polygamy is illegal, even in Utah. And we’re talking felony illegal here. The state usually ignores polygamists, focusing legal efforts on only those with histories of abuse, but when you display your illegal lifestyle on national TV it’s kind of tough to ignore. So Utah officials are investigating the family and considering bringing criminal charges against them. Although they could be idle threats, if not we are in for a great season 2!

Kody Brown and his brood are technically breaking the law, but they really aren’t hurting anyone and actually kind of seem like decent people. Amber from Teen Mom? Totally different story. If you watch the show, you know she is the permanently spray-tanned, trashy, slap-happy one who broke up with her baby-daddy Gary and quickly met a felon at the Wal-Mart to date. A lovely choice of male presence to bring into your daughter’s formative years! But now the show has opened her up to more than just our awe-struck criticism: she could be facing serious legal trouble as well. There have been several instances on the show where she hit Gary (in slap, punch and kick form), but he just kind of walked it off nonchalantly. I guess it’s par for the course with her. But guess what? It’s on tape, and it’s illegal! You know what’s more illegal? Hitting your spouse in front of a child under 14, which she also did on camera! Good job, Amber! Local police, as well as Child Protective Services, are investigating to see if charges will be pressed. Gary isn’t going to press any, but you don’t really need witness testimony when it aired on MTV.

The weirdest part? The MTV camera crew might also face criminal charges, as it’s illegal to witness domestic abuse/abuse in front of a minor and not report it to authorities. Well, so much for the impartial, all-seeing eye of the documentarian I guess!

Jon Gosselin and Jerry Lewis: Mad Men

Posted by BRADY in Jon & Kate Plus 8, celebrity gossip

September 7th, 2010, 05:01 PM

Unlike Don Draper, Jon Gosselin is a jerk but without any charm.

Don’t worry, former reality show star/current unemployed tool Jon Gosselin and former comedian/current old crank Jerry Lewis won’t be donning suits to join the gang at Sterling, Cooper, Draper and Pryce, though a special April Fool’s Day episode of Mad Men featuring them could be the greatest prank in television history. Do you think they could make a retro-chic Ed Hardy business suit? I hope! No, Jon Gosselin and Jerry Lewis are just two men who are quite angry. And what are they mad at? Two very famous women who I would agree are not the greatest role models or ladies I would want to be in the company of, but who I now feel bad for thanks to king jerks Gosselin and Lewis.

As most of you well know, Jon and Kate Gosselin called it quits awhile back, and although they both wanted the hell away from each other, I wouldn’t exactly call the split “amicable.” Ugly custody battles and contract negotiations have ensued while Kate tries to retain a solo career (being herself in front of a camera and getting paid for it for some reason) and Jon tries to trick younger and younger women into dating him. One of Jon’s exes, Hailey Glassman, apparently wasn’t too pleased with the way Jon treats the female population in general and leaked some rather incriminating handwritten notes from Jon’s personal files, full of some very specific plans for how he would extort money from Kate. The notes, which look like the personal notes of a really crappy super-villain’s drunk accountant, were for Jon to consult during his many yelling matches on the phone with Kate. In fairness, I would probably have a hard time memorizing this much bs as well. His big bartering chip was a threat to turn in Kate to Child Protective Services for supposedly harming one of their children, which Kate’s representation obviously denies. Emotional scars left on the kids by both sides? Undeniable!

Jerry Lewis, on the other hand, is mad at someone who he has never even met and who I honestly never thought he would have heard of: Lindsay Lohan. When her name was brought up in an interview, the 84 year old lashed out: “I’d smack her in the mouth if I saw her,” he said, and then moved from inexplicably violent to downright creepy in his follow-up comments on her: “I would say, ‘You deserve this and nothing else’ … WHACK! And then, if she’s not satisfied, I’d put her over my knee and spank her and then put her in rehab and that’s it.” Wow, why so personal, Jerry? Have you even seen Machete yet? She’s awesome in it! Where were your threats against a Hollywood star when Eddie Murphy stomped all over your legacy by re-making The Nutty Professor? Then again, maybe Jerry recently rented I Know Who Killed Me and is just pissed at Lindsay about that. Give it time, Jerry. I know it was awful, but after 2 or 3 years I finally moved past it. What I really gathered from this news story? Someone get Jerry Lewis on Twitter! Those would be some entertaining rants from an old, angry man!

Reality Show Clip Time!

Posted by BRADY in Scream Queens

August 3rd, 2010, 02:07 PM

Everybody mug for the camera!

I’ve been meaning to discuss Pit Boss on Animal Planet for a while now, but kept forgetting—probably because I keep thinking it must be a joke.  Here’s what I gather from the ridiculous, so-very-TLC promo (for all that it’s on Animal Planet): it’s a show about a little person and his little person crew who rescue pitbulls, and occasionally act.  Or something.  And I think they have tattoos.  Not sure if they ride motorcycles, but if they do (and if someone gets married), this is like every single TLC show mashed into one.  The producers probably found these people and were like, “jackpot!!”  The main guy, Shorty Rossi, runs a talent management agency for little people, called Shortywood Productions, and a pit bull rescue/rehabilitation organization, Shorty’s Pit Bull Rescue.  He’s a little person.  An ex con.  A loudmouth, cigar chomping, self-described workaholic.  Of course he has a television show!  But really, I’ll stick to Pit Bulls and Parolees, myself.

Money Hungry (hosted by Dan Cortese!  HA!) debuted on VH1 last night, and I tell you want: it’s just like The Biggest Loser, but with less beatings and more bitching. Boring!  Next!

Scream Queens, on VH1 following Money Hungry, made its second season debut last night, offering ten young women the chance to be maimed, tortured, terrified, and possibly killed in the upcoming Saw 3D (can you imagine Saw in 3D?  Gadzooks—I cannot!).  Previous winner Tanedra Howard was featured in the opening trap scene of Saw IV, and will also appear in Saw 3D.  This show is pretty awesome, what with the blood and gore boot camp, the challenges, the screaming, and (of course) the trash-talking.  Where would a show about young women competing for a prize be without trash-talking?  In the crapper, that’s where.  The judges are different this year—Jamie King (My Bloody Valentine, The Tripper) serves as, uh, scream queen mentor, John Homa (acting coach to the stars) helps the gals with their freakability (if you will), and Tim Sullivan (2001 Maniacs, Driftwood) directs their scenes.  And then someone gets axed!  Or whatever!  Literally!  Sweet!

-This post brought to you by Diana

The Team-Up We All Should Have Seen Coming

Posted by BRADY in Jon & Kate Plus 8, celebrity gossip

July 26th, 2010, 05:27 PM

Palin and Gosselin together? Finally!!

I just spent 4 days at Comic-Con, and it was crazy. We’re talking people getting stabbed in the eye by pen-wielding dudes in Harry Potter shirts fighting over seats for the Thor movie panel crazy. And while I was there I got to see some cool TV stuff. The panel for Adult Swim’s new show Children’s Hospital was fantastic, filled with comedians like The Daily Show’s Rob Corddry, Party Down star Ken Marino, and 2/3 of Human Giant, Paul Scheer and Rob Huebel. The panel for Community was equally great, and proved once and for all that Chevy Chase, who wore a look of constant puzzlement, is just being himself on that show. And I love him even more because of it. But for a weekend filled with nerdy announcements about big-time characters and superstar celebrities alike teaming up for star-studded movies like The Avengers and Cowboys Vs. Aliens, the craziest announcement came from nowhere inside the San Diego Convention Center: Kate Gosselin and Sarah Palin are joining forces.

I’ll give it a second to settle in…………you good? Ok, great. Once the shock wears off, it actually makes perfect sense. These are two of the most divisive pop-culture icons of the past few years, and two of the ladies that the world most likes to poke fun at. Too bad Lindsay Lohan is in jail, because if you threw her into the mix I think the team-up would reflect 95% of late-night comedians’ jokes in one place. But why, exactly, are they pairing up? For a camping trip of course! Palin will host Kate and her brood of children on a camping trip in the Alaskan wilderness for a very special episode of Kate Plus Eight, and Palin’s dad and brother will help to teach the kids about the natural history of the area and how to camp in the elements. You know, it’s times like these when I realize how sad it is that Jon Gosselin has no real part in his children’s life anymore. Not really because of the whole “father missing the first camping trip” thing, but mostly because I would love to see what an Ed Hardy parka and snow-tent would look like.

As far as Palin goes, people say a lot of nasty things about her, but she is stepping in and being a nice person here for no personal benefit, opening up her family and home for–oh wait, I forgot how TLC will be premiering Sarah Palin’s Alaska, her new docu-reality show, right around the time that Kate Plus Eight returns to the air. Very clever cross-promotion, Miss Palin! Not as good as when you staged that joke campaign for Vice President (that really got some headlines), but still pretty good!

What can we expect from a Kate Gosselin and Sarah Palin team-up? Will they mistakenly take each other for enemies, only to realize through their fighting that they have a common enemy and must work together to overcome? Probably not. I just spent too much time at Comic Con, where that is a perfectly realistic plot. They will more likely just talk about having a boatload of kids and how pretty Alaska is. Oh, and maybe kill a moose or two.

Everybody Loves (to Hate) Kate

Posted by BRADY in Dancing With The Stars

April 9th, 2010, 12:27 PM

Kate does her best Moses. Commandment 1: You shall not dance well.

When I first heard that Kate Gosselin (former star of Jon & Kate Plus 8) was set to appear on Dancing with the Stars this season, my first thought was: well, they certainly do stretch the meaning of the term “star” on that show. Sure, astronaut Buzz Aldrin (who, contrary to popular belief, is actually still alive and not the result of ABC pulling a Weekend at Bernie’s style stunt) and sportscaster Erin Andrews aren’t the definition of “star,” but at least they have accomplished something beyond getting knocked up and allowing cameras to film their lives falling apart. In the case of Erin Andrews, she was filmed naked through a peephole by a pervert. Now that’s a star. But Kate Gosselin?

After the first couple weeks of the show, I have now realized just how wrong I was. Even without a brood of children surrounding her and a Bluetooth wearing hubby to yell at, Kate Gosselin has proven to be the train wreck talk of the country yet again. Who would have guessed that Kate had enough nuttiness pent up inside to even overshadow Shannen Doherty? Shannen has a made a career out of being kicked off of TV shows for being completely crazypants, punching and screaming at anyone on set, and even she can’t compare to what Kate has unleashed. First came her initial practices with her partner, in which he stormed out and threatened to quit because he couldn’t stand working with the whiny, nagging Kate. In a strip club somewhere, Jon Gosselin whispered “I feel your pain.” She followed that up with her already infamous performance of Lady Gaga’s “Paparazzi,” which she used as a statement piece about her feelings towards the tabloid press. Could have fooled me, I thought the statement was: I am a terrible dancer.

The result of Hurricane Kate? The show is more popular than ever, beating out American Idol both nights this week for the first time ever. Idol’s weak season can be partially blamed, but the audience’s obsession over this woman who continually manages to fail upward through public embarrassment is potent. As if America is saying, “Oh, so you’re going to deprive us of watching Paula Abdul’s slow unraveling and descent into madness on American Idol this year? We’ll find our awkward disaster elsewhere, thank you very much!”

Although the novelty of Kate attempting to dance will wear off and she will eventually be kicked off (she dodged a bullet this week when Buzz Aldrin was let go so he could be ushered back to cryo-freezing), we have not seen the last of Kate. TLC announced this week that she will be returning to the channel with two new shows: a series of Kate Plus 8 specials about her home life and a new program called Twist of Kate. The premise of the new show, according to TLC, is for Kate to travel the country meeting her fans and experiencing their lives, giving advice based on her own struggles. I guess TLC really is the learning channel after all, because I just learned that Kate apparently has “fans.” Also, will every episode culminate in: “Well, I don’t know, why don’t you get a reality show? It destroyed my marriage but at least I don’t have to work anymore!”

Now when will Spike give Jon Gosselin a show? I vote for “Jon Plus Skanks” or “Ed Hardy and Bacardi: Spring Break Cancun with Father of 8 and Noted Tool Jon Gosselin.”

What does it take to be on TLC?

Posted by ERIN in TLC

March 12th, 2010, 10:01 AM

Doesn’t seem like it takes much to get on TLC (formerly known as The Learning Channel) these days.  Little people, brides, parents with litters of children, chefs, and persons with unfortunate medical maladies all have their place in the sun, and multiple chances to let it all hang out.  Why the fascination, TLC?  A little person chef with sextuplets and a fiancé with leprosy would be the perfect star of a TLC show.  Jon and Kate Plus Eight has nothing on that! 

Seriously, have you looked at TLC’s castings recently?  All the shows about little people: Little People, Big World (the first of little people programming), The Little Chocolatiers, The Little Couple, Our Little Life—not to mention all the one-off medical shows they have about little people.  I don’t really understand the fascination.  Little People, Big Worldsure.  That show’s been on for about a billion years.  Even The Little Couple, ok, obvious spinoff of Little People, Big World. But The Little Chocolatiers?  Really?  I mean, really? Shark, consider yourself jumped.  Perhaps TLC now stands for The Little Channel.

It’s all extremes—little people, hugenormous families (hello, Duggars and 19 Kids and Counting, I am not only looking at you but boring holes into you with my laser eyes), medical issues, women who don’t know they’re pregnant.  And speaking of I Didn’t Know I was Pregnant, there are a LOT of women in this country who don’t know when they’re pregnant!  At least once a week, The Soup will show a clip of this show, and it’s almost always a woman who thinks she’s constipated tand trying to poop, and out pops a baby.  Like magic!

Currently casting (OMG, multiples, bridal shows, lifestyle shows?! What’s getting canceled?  No more midget shows?!) for all kinds of ridiculous things (except Toddlers & Tiaras—they probably have plenty of applicants).  Are you expecting multiples?  Bam—you’ve got a show.  Found an accidental fortune?  Bam.  Show.  Getting married? BAM!  Multiple shows!

Who wants to be on television?  Let’s get famous!

- This post was brought to you by Diana -

Jon & Kate Plus 8 Relaunched as Kate Plus 8!

Posted by KAT in Jon & Kate Plus 8, Kate Plus 8

September 29th, 2009, 12:58 PM

Jon & Kate Plus 8 relaunched as Kate Plus 8

Oh noes!  I suppose we all called it, but it seems Jon & Kate Plus 8 has been dropped!  The series will be relaunched as the devastatingly sad Kate Plus 8 starting November 2nd on TLC.  Aw.  Jon Gossselin’s been fired.

Just Jared has the scoop:

The program now include a deeper focus on Kate’s journey as a single mother. TLC will continue its exclusive relationship with Jon and he will continue to appear on the show, but on a less regular basis.

“Given the recent changes in the family dynamics, it only makes sense for us to refresh and recalibrate the program to keep pace with the family. The family has evolved and we are attempting to evolve with it; we feel that Kate’s journey really resonates with our viewers. Additionally the network is in development on a Kate project for 2010” says Eileen O’Neill, President and GM, TLC.

Oh man.  Do you think that’s crazy?  Well get a lot of this li’l gem from InTouch, via The Blemish:

“He woke up one morning, looked in the mirror and didn’t like the reflection,” Jon’s attorney, Mark Jay Heller, tells In Touch. “He realized he’d made some bad choices.” Jon and Kate were due to be officially divorced by the end of November — but now he claims he’s had a serious change of heart. “I regret my conduct since Kate and I separated [on June 22],” Jon tells In Touch exclusively. “I used poor judgment in publicly socializing with other women so soon.”

Daaaang. Jon Gosselin must’ve screwed his Ed Hardy t-shirt on too tight this morning cuz he’s out of his damn mind!

Sucks to have your allowance cut off, I guess.

Photoshopped Jon Gosselin Tired of Being Blamed!

Posted by KAT in Jon & Kate Plus 8

August 5th, 2009, 03:59 PM

Gross!  What in tarnation happened to Jon Gosselin’s face?  Witness a serious case of Photoshop-gone-wrong on the cover of this week’s In Touch Weekly:

In Touch: Jon Gosselin Cover

I bet that wonky left eye follows you around the room like one of those creepy paintings.  I can also picturing it popping out, falling into a bowl of soup, and swimming around like a goldfish.  DOUBLE GROSS!

Oh, besides that, the Jon & Kate Plus 8 star had a whole lot to say about his break-up with wife Kate Gosselin and new gf Hailey Glassman.

Silent no longer!  Some of the highlights:

What is the biggest difference in your life now, compared to a year ago?
Let’s go back to October of last year — that’s when all of this happened. Kate basically came to me out of the blue and said, “I am done. You are going to live your life, and I am going to live my life.” I was like, “What?” I didn’t really know what was going on. When she said that, I was really upset and nervous.

Why did she want to break up?
I think she initiated the split because she wanted a career. Maybe I wasn’t sure what I wanted to do, and she was going to move on regardless. I said, “Are you sure about this?”

Did you want to work it out?
Yes, I asked, “What do I have to do to mend the relationship? What did I do wrong?” I was beating myself up about it. So I read a lot of books about personalities, like The Five Love Languages. Throughout the marriage, I felt like my personality had changed a lot. In December, I went to therapy. I asked Kate to come, but she didn’t want to. She said, “If you have a problem, go fix it.”

When did you and Kate start living separate lives?
We went to Utah on January 1. On January 12, she flew back with security and I stayed. That’s when I started to just hang out and meet people, and feel free. Not too many girls, just with my guy friends. I couldn’t do that for nine years. When I came back on the 17th, Kate and I weren’t talking. So I just said, “I’m moving out of the house,” and that was it.

What was your first relationship?
Hailey — it started around May. She is the polar opposite of Kate. It’s really different. I feel good about myself and people see my good qualities. I’m not being put down. If I want to go out with my friends, Hailey says, “Oh, go out.” I’m not used to that. I was used to, “No, no, it’s your fault.” Sometimes I ask Hailey permission, like I used to do with Kate, and she says, “You don’t have to ask permission.” I was used to living like that, and now it’s like a breath of fresh air. You can have a balanced relationship but also spend time with your friends.

There you have it, folks!  I’ve gotta admit, I sort of believe the guy.

But the bit about Hailey?  He likes her cuz he doesn’t need her permission to go out?  Pshaw.  What is he, twelve years old?  Loser.

Be Kate Gosselin For Halloween!

Posted by KAT in Jon & Kate Plus 8

August 3rd, 2009, 02:10 PM

It’s never too early to start planning for Halloween!

Need a costume idea?  How ’bout Kate Gosselin?

Kate Gosselin Costume

That wig is a total work of art, isn’t it?  Kudos to the wizard who pulled that together.

On a related note, Jon & Kate Plus 8 is back tonight on TLC.  Something tells me ratings’ll be huge tonight - Jon and Kate have been pretty good about keeping their private lives private lately, and I’m sure the masses are curious.

Don’t forget to tune ine!

[Source: Scandalist]

Jon Minus Kate & 8 Plus Hailey… in St. Tropez!

Posted by KAT in Jon & Kate Plus 8

July 13th, 2009, 10:09 AM

Barf!  Photos have surfaced this morning of Jon & Kate Plus 8’s Jon Gosselin traipsing about in St.Tropez, hand-in-hand with new girlfriend Hailey Glassman.

Glassman is supposedly the daughter of Kate Gosselin’s former plastic surgeon.  She’ll be helping Gosselin with the children’s clothing line he’s working on with Ed Hardy designer Christian Audigier, who they were meeting with in St. Tropez.

Here’s a picture of the happy couple:

Hailey Glassman & Jon Gosselin

Grody!  The cigarettes, the Ed Hardy, the wrap-around shades, the extramaritalness… I think they’re def in the running for world’s trashiest couple.

And think of the children!

Gosselin will be back home on Tuesday to start filming new episodes of Jon & Kate Plus 8, which returns on TLC August 3rd.

[Source: People]

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