August 9th, 2010, 04:30 PM
The cast of Twilight won so many surfboard awards, the next film we be called Twilight: Surf Monsters
The 2010 edition of The Teen Choice Awards were filmed over the weekend to air tonight, and one thing is certain: teens still like things that suck. If you don’t want some of the results spoiled (what would you do if you didn’t get to experience the thrill of finding out who won Best Dance along with the rest of America??), then stop reading now, but I will say that I’m not referring to just the quality. The kids are still loving blood-suckers.
Vampires ruled the night, with Twilight winning 12 Awards throughout the night. And no, they weren’t just for categories like “Best Pale Vampire” and “Most Gratuitous Display of Under-Aged Male Abs.” Time to start taking bets now: will it win MORE or an EQUAL AMOUNT of Oscars? I’m thinking more, just because there aren’t categories like Best Screenplay and Costume Design at the Teen Choice Awards, which Twilight: Eclipse is sure to sweep. I mean, have you seen those jean shorts that the werewolves have on? They even manage to sew themselves back together after getting torn apart by wolf-growth. Those are some finely crafted pieces of denim.
How strong was the vampire love at the awards? Robert Pattinson even won a best drama actor award for Remember Me, which, as far as I know, is a movie about a vampire falling in love with Claire from Lost and getting yelled at by his dad, who used to be James Bond. And the vampire love didn’t even stop there! It branched into the world of TV as well, where the CW’s Vampire Diaries won 7 awards. I’m sure Vampire Diaries just narrowly beat out Mad Men and Breaking Bad. Teens love period dramas and depressing meth-based programming! If only Don Draper had a pair of fangs! He would have stolen the brooding vampire award right out from under some teen.
The other two big entertainment stories that seem to be coming out of the awards involve two people you might be getting tired of hearing about by now: Betty White and Levi Johnston. Don’t worry, they’re not having a baby now. No, Betty White continued her streak of appearing on-stage anytime Sandra Bullock is receiving an award. As Sandra accepted her award for best actress in The Blind Side, Betty White danced on stage so the two could accept their award together for best dance in The Proposal. And because Betty White doing things people her age don’t normally do will never ever get old! Ok, maybe it already has. As for Levi Johnston, he wasn’t nominated for Worst Teenage Father or anything, he was just there to walk the red carpet with singer Brittani Senser. Don’t worry, he hasn’t moved on to a new woman so soon after leaving baby-mama Bristol Palin, he is just making a music video with her. So I take that back, that is much more worrisome.