Fierce!

America’s Next Top Model Cycle 16 premieres February 23 on The CW (that’s pretty soon!). Seems like Cycle Fifteen, the Haute Couture/High Fashion cycle featuring winner Ann Ward, just ended, doesn’t it? Guess Tyra Banks is finding herself at loose ends without her talk show, and is desperately trying to stay as relevant as possible (although let’s be honest: RuPaul is the new Tyra, and RuPaul’s Drag Race is the new ANTM. This has been utterly proved since the amazing Sutan Amrull is now on RuPaul’s Drag Race, and should win!). Pictures and bios of the fourteen finalists haven’t yet been announced, but this pleaser of a teaser has been released:

I can’t believe the contestants are finally put in big plastic balls! JUST LIKE HAMSTERS! My money’s on the trained killer bees girl!

Any of ya’ll watch The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills reunion? Yes/no/maybe? Cackling, fake cigarette aficionado and Medium Alison DuBois claims Camille Grammer will not be returning to the show next year. “Camille has told me that she is looking forward to moving on with her life without the Housewives,” DuBois told RadarOnline.com.”Camille said that filming the reunion show was the longest eight hours of her life. Camille thought the filming was never going to end, eight hours seems a little long. It was extremely draining for her, emotionally.” Meanwhile, back in New York, the as yet undivorced Kelsey Grammer has booked The Plaza Hotel for a February 25th wedding to his pregnant paramour, Kayte Walsh. Negotiations with Camille have yet to be finalized, but Kelsey seems confident she’ll accept his terms by then. The complication? No prenup! Kayte won’t be signing one either, so we can do this whole song and dance again in a couple years.

Speaking of song and dance, earlier today it was reported that Ricky Gervais has been invited back to host the Golden Globes yet again, next year! To which he said, SUCK IT, HATERS! Now, in an exclusive piece, The Hollywood Reporter is reporting Phil Berk (head of the Hollywood Foreign Press Association) said there is no truth to this rumor! Haters, you win this round!

Finally: porn star and Charlie Sheen undacovah lovah Kacey Jordan went on Good Morning America and said Charlie had no probs with her babysitting his kids. Denise Richards, one of two Sheen baby mamas, took to Twitter for her 140 character response: “If you caught GMA today..FYI.. No “adult film star” will be babysitting our kids!” No word yet from Brooke Mueller.

The Hollywood Reporter put out a list today of the top 10 most-watched TV episodes of the decade.  Wondering if any of the included episodes will come as a surprise:

1. Friends
Airdate: May 6, 2004; Viewers: 52.5 million

Titled “The Last One,” the “Friends” series finale closed a modern-day Golden Age of comedy TV — and marked the end of the NBC’s “Must-See TV” era. At the time, the final “Friends” was the most-watched entertainment telecast in six years, and it has never been surpassed. A finale that stayed true to the series, the “Friends” closer was well-liked by fans and concluded with slow pan across Monica and Chandler’s empty apartment.

2. Survivor: Borneo
Airdate: Aug. 23, 2000; Viewers: 51.7 million

“Survivor” was a new series that premiered in the dead of summer, yet that didn’t stop its August finale from nearly toppling “Friends” as the most-watched telecast of the decade. During its riveting two-hour closer, audiences expected tough whitewater rafting guide Kelly Wiglesworth to triumph over scheming corporate trainer Richard Hatch for the show’s $1 million prize — and then were stunned to discover that on this new TV genre called “reality,” sometimes the villain wins.

3. Joe Millionaire
Airdate: Feb. 17, 2003; Viewers: 40 million

Fox put a deceptive twist on the reality TV genre with “Joe Millionaire.” Why tell contestants the truth when fooling them is so much more fun? With women vying for the attention of fake millionaire Evan Marriott, millions watched the season finale to see which bachelorette he would choose and, more important, how she would react when she learned the truth about his identity. Marriott’s relationship with winner Zora Andrich didn’t last and, once the show’s twist played out, neither did “Joe Millionaire.”

4. ER
Airdate: Feb. 17, 2000; Viewers: 39.4 million

A car crash the previous week left Lucy Knight and John Carter gravely injured after they were attacked by schizophrenic patient. A massive audience tuned in for this episode, “All in the Family,” to see who would survive. Considered one of the most tragic episodes of the series.

5. American Idol
Airdate: Jan. 16, 2007; Viewers: 38.1 million

The “ American Idol” sixth-season premiere marked the pinnacle of the show’s popularity, back when each season brought in a higher number than the one before. The Minneapolis opener was for a season won by Jordin Sparks and introduced millions to the name Sanjaya.

6. Grey’s Anatomy post-Super Bowl episode
Airdate: Feb. 5, 2006; Viewers: 38 million

Code black! This post-Super Bowl episode of ABC’s medical soap was jam-packed with attention-getting drama for the football crowd — supply-closet sex, a doctor giving birth, a lesbian shower scene and guest star Christina Ricci as a paramedic with her hand on the trigger of a bomb that’s also inside her patient. Ahhh! Sealed “Grey’s” hit status and proved girly shows can score ratings touchdowns after the Big Game, too.

7. Who Wants to Be a Millionaire
Airdate: May 3, 2000; Viewers: 36 million

Three “Millionaire” episodes from the same week in May are clumped together on the most-watched list, as Regis-fever swept the country. ABC was criticized for airing this flashy new game show three or even four nights a the week, though we’ll never know if the network’s scheduling saturation was to blame for the show’s demise two years later or if the game show’s popularity with viewers was destined to be short-lived.

8. Frasier
Airdate: May 18, 2000; Viewers: 33.7 million

The seventh-season finale of “Cheers” spinoff “Frasier” promised to end the suspense over Niles Crane’s swooning over physical therapist Daphne Moon. Niles confesses his love for Daphne on the eve of her wedding, only to be rejected … or so it seemed at first.

9. Everybody Loves Raymond
Airdate: May 16, 2005; Viewers: 32.9 million

The series finale for Ray Romano’s long-running sitcom went off the air as a top 10-ranked show among total viewers. The episode was only subtly climatic, with Ray Barone’s routine surgery resulting in a moment where his family thought he might have died. The episode concluded with the Barones talking and laughing around the dinner table.

10. Spin City
Airdate: May 24, 2000; Viewers: 32.8 million

Yes, we were surprised, too — and it’s not for the series finale. This was the final episode starring Michael J. Fox, who left the show because of his worsening Parkinson’s symptoms. Charlie Sheen took the lead role for two more “Spin” seasons, though Fox had a brief return in the final year.

Whew!

So I’m actually pretty surprised we didn’t get an episode of Seinfeld in there - the finale, at the very least.  Sure, I remember viewership and interest dwindling for Jerry and the gang at that point, but you’d at least think they’d beat out Spin City, am I right?

And what about this “Who Shot J.R.? episode of Dallas I’m always hearing about?

Hmm.  I’m thinking this is probably a bad idea.  Recurring Saturday Night Live skit MacGruber - a MacGyver parody - will be hitting the big screen.

The skit features Will Forte as the original MacGyver’s son, MacGruber.  In each episode, he’s in a room with ticking bomb that’s about to go off.  He gets distracted by unimportant matters, the bomb goes off, the skit’s over.  It all takes about 45 seconds, if that.  Oh yeah, and Kristen Wiig plays his assistant.

A 90-minute movie it shan’t make!  Sorry, I talk like that sometimes.

The movie will supposedly follow MacGruber as he’s pulled out of retirement as a monk in Ecuador by a colonel who needs him to fight on behalf of his country.  They’ll be fighting against a character named Cunth, who killed MacGruber’s bride.

BORING! 

Lorne Michaels, are you listening? DON’T MAKE THIS MOVIE! Saturday Night Live skit-to-movies are notoriously terrible, with the exception of Wayne’s World.

Ryan Phillippe and Val Kilmer are both in talks to appear in the feature film.  Whaeva.

[Source: The Hollywood Reporter]

Eek!  AIG who?  The Sarah Silverman Program is in need of a bailout!

According to The Hollywood Reporter, due to this here economy, Comedy Central is cutting the show’s budget by 20%.

Even worse, the show’s three executive producers, including Sarah Silverman herself, have threatened to quit!  As of right now, the execs say they won’t be able to proceed with a third season of The Sarah Silverman Program with the proposed budget.

Both sides are currently negotiating.  They might even come to a decision as early as today! As a big Sarah Silverman fan, I’m keeping my fingers crossed that they’ll work something out.

In the meantime, I’ve got a good idea to bring down the budget: cut the musical numbers!

Sarah, you know I love you to pieces, but your songs range from mediocre to brow-furrowing.  Stick to dating God and licking your dog’s hindquarters, sister.

Not kidding.  Catch up on The Sarah Silverman Program’s first two seasons here if you missed those gems.