BACHELORETTES!

Ya’ll hear about Kim Kardashian’s bachelorette party? Take one stereotypical bachelorette, two stereotypical sisters of the bachelorette, one stereotypical city (Las Vegas), and what happens? Duh! Stereotypical hijinks ensue! Unable to party like mere morals, The Sisters Kardashian cooked up a full day of bachelorette-ing (while Mr. Kim Kardashian, Kris Humphries, did his bachelor-ing thing with his bros nearby), including massages, shopping, lots of delicious eating, and–of course–crashing the bachelor party at the end of the night! Khloe and Kourtney, true to their word, did everything possible to embarrass the unflappable Kim, including making her wear a pink sash and an illuminated tiara. They didn’t stop there, of course, because what’s a bachelorette party without some male genitalia and a mini male stripper? LaLa Vasquez Anthony, Brittny Gastineau, and Kris Jenner (the former Kris Kardashian–how sitcom!) accompanied the sisters in eating genitalia-shaped cake and sipping through similar straws. True to form, there was screaming, crying, quitting, and reconciliation, but of course no one will admit to it. You ever been to a bachelorette party in Vegas? True facts, people. True facts.

BITCHES!

The normally easygoing Bravo VP Andy Cohen was shaken and stirred out of his gentle vibe during The Real Housewives of New York City reunion! He’s been hosting these reunion shows multiple times per year for multiple years, and finally cracked. Oh, Andy! You are human! Not only human, but incredibly human. The viewing audience has wanted to tell all the Housewives to STFU for ages, but no one ever has…until now!

BULLPUCKY!

The first ridiculous thing about this bit of news is that Glee was at San Diego Comic Con. Gleeks do not an ostensibly comic focused convention make, Ryan Murphy! But hey, the Glee cast is farmed out for everything else, so why not? The second ridiculous thing is that earlier this month, creator Ryan Murphy said Lea Michele (Rachel Berry), Cory Monteith (Finn Hudson), and Chris Colfer (Kurt Hummel) would be leaving the show at the end of the next season, since all are apparently seniors and graduating. Never mind that those three being seniors and the rest underclassmen makes absolutely no sense, because apparently, Gunther from Friends is wrong. Co-creator Brad Falchuk now says the characters are graduating, but are not leaving the show. Can you seriously imagine Rachel or Kurt sticking around Lima after graduation? No. Not at all. Something is rotten in the state of Ohio.

Chord Overstreet (Sam Evans), is, however, permanently done with the show and parted on his own terms. Good for you, sir!

New Directions vs. Vocal Adrenaline: the new Jets vs. Sharks?

Tuesdays are a great night for television, aren’t they?  I mean—you have your American Idol, your Glee, your The Biggest Loser, your The Hills and The City.  It’s just a night with plenty of options.  I spent my evening flipping channels, mostly between Glee and The Biggest Loser (go Daris or Ashley!) and then settled on The Hills for the 10pm hour.  It was a night of ups and downs, highs and lows, laughs and cringes (The Hills.  Oy.)

Glee first.  Ever since the show began, fans have been calling for Idina Menzel to show up as Rachel Berry’s mom, due to the strong resemblance between Idina and Lea Michele, who plays the polarizing (love ‘er or hate ‘er!) prissy princess with the big voice.  Everyone who watches the show figured it was only a matter of time before the relationship was declared, once Idina started occasionally guest starring as Shelby Corcoran, director of the evilly talented and deviously amazing rival club Vocal Adrenaline.  It’s like the Jets and the Sharks!  Without the racial overtones and, you know, knives.  So anyway, no one was surprised when this week’s big reveal was that Shelby is indeed Rachel’s bio mom.  The bigger shock (if you can call it a shock) is that Jesse St. James IS playing Rachel like a cheap fiddle and won’t THAT be interesting if/when it all comes to a head.  I predict it happens around…Regionals.  If Regionals ever actually happens.  All in all, it was a great episode (non-revelatory revelations notwithstanding).  Joss Whedon directed, Neil Patrick Harris guest starred (please come back!), Artie (the wheelchair kid) got a couple great moments.  Did anyone else notice the guy from Heavy Impact (America’s Best Dance Crew) in the “Safety Dance” number?  I was completely distracted for a few minutes while trying to think why he looked familiar (it was the kinda heavy dude with the long hair).  Glee writers aren’t wasting any time: next week’s previews show Rachel confronting Shelby about her filial connection.

Aaaaaaand just when you thought it was safe to watch The Hills (hint: it’s never safe to watch The Hills), everyone on it continued acting like drunken foulmouthed toddlers.  Spencer’s Flesh-colored Beard has spread to his brain and he’s so David Koresh (and btdubs, Spencer’s parents have disowned him, if that still even means anything these days if your parents are people other than Donald Trump or Warren Hellman).  Heidi is a zombie, Kristin is Machiavelli, Brody is just a penis, and Audrina is like the Cowardly Lion: if only she had a brain.  On the upside, the ladies (plus Holly, Stephanie, and Lo; minus Heidi, of course) have decided to cut Speidi Pratag out of their circle and out of their lives.  Yeah, we’ll see how long that lasts!

-This post brought to you by DIANA

After what feels like eons, Fox superstar hit show Glee returns to the airwaves tonight at one-time-only-timeslot 9:28pm in your particular time-zone (except you Central freaks, who should look for it at 8:28pm)!  Finally, right?  When we last saw New Directions, they’d taken Sectionals by storm.  Tonight’s episode sees them gearing up for Regionals, where they’ll face Vocal Adrenaline, headed up by the so-incredibly-amazing Idina Menzel (who, by the way, is married to Taye Diggs, whom she met on the original Broadway production of Rent way back in the day!).  Also appearing is Jonathan Groff (another Broadway star, made famous in Spring Awakening with Glee’s Lea Michele) as Vocal Adrenaline’s lead singer (and Rachel Berry’s love interest!).

As a little celebrity news tie-in and Glee cast news bonus, Jane Lynch (the incredibly awesome Sue Sylvester) has confirmed her engagement to longtime partner Lara Embry!  No date has been set or plans made (or so she says), but both are very happy and very excited!  Look for Jane to sing ‘Let’s Get Physical’ on an upcoming episode of Glee, featuring a guest appearance by the one and only Olivia Newton-John!

Not too much else seems to be going on in the wonderful world of celebrity news.  Designing Women’s Dixie Carter died (goodbye, Julia Sugarbaker!).  Russell Crowe got a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame (and can I just say, seems like anyone can get one of those things these days).  Kate Gosselin is, for now, still on Dancing with the “Stars” (snore barf snore) and will hopefully get kicked off tonight or whenever the results show is.  Anyway, nobody of note did anything really salacious in the past few days, so we’ll just leave it at that!

- This post brought to you by Diana

Oh, you Gleeks (Glee geeks, for those not in the know) are gonna love this bit o’ honey!  See, it’s been confirmed that the cast of Glee is going on TOUR!  Glee Live! In Concert! will include real live performances of some of the shows most popular numbers, including: “Don’t Stop Believin’,” “Somebody to Love,” “Jump,” “Don’t Rain on My Parade,” and “Sweet Caroline.”

Lea Michele, Cory Monteith, Amber Riley, Chris Colfer, Kevin McHale, Jenna Ushkowitz, Mark Salling, Dianna Agron, Naya Rivera, Heather Morris, Harry Shum Jr., and Dijon Talton are all expected to perform—just like on television!  They’ll be hitting the four cities mentioned above in mid to late May.  I do wonder, though, if they’ll have Autotune going during the performances…

More information on the story behind the tour can be found here.  For tickets and more information on the shows themselves, visit gleetour2010.com.  And for those of you for whom waiting until April 13^th is like waiting for the Arrested Development movie (it’s taking forever, I tell you!), here’s a great little video put together by Mark Salling (Puck).  Totally touching!

April can’t come too soon!  You know what would make the live show perfect?  If Jane Lynch as Sue Sylvester MC’ed, and stood off to the side making catty comments!  That would be priceless.

- This post was brought to you by Diana -

Glee returns to FOX on April 13th and shows no signs of slowing down on the dorky-but-exuberant choral performances (”Hello Goodbye” by The Beatles, “Express Yourself” by Madonna); acidic wit of Jane Lynch’s Sue Sylvester; teen dramedy; and (apparently) conical bras and cheerleaders on stilts. Boo yah!

A new preview for the next round of Glee is out - take a gander below:

Looks & sounds pretty sweet! Have you marked your calendars yet, Gleeks? April 13th! Be there and still find yourself being square.

Oooh, can you smell it?  Fall season premieres are brewing!

On tap for tonight is the first non-pilot episode of Glee, the buzzed-about high school Glee Club comedy.  The pilot aired back in May following American Idol (sweet spot!) and has been available online for quite some time.  Tonight, however, we finally get our next look.

Created by Ryan Murphy (Popular, Nip/Tuck), Glee follows William McKinley High School’s show choir as it it’s taken over by Will Schuester (Matthew Morrison), an idealistic Spanish teacher who hopes to revive the team to its former glory.

The Glee Club consists of a slew of lovable losers and a handful of misguided popular kids, including superstar and popular kid whipping post Rachel Berry (Lea Michele) and former star quarterback Finn Hudson (Colin Monteith).  Singing back up are diva Mercedes Jones (Amber Riley), flamboyant Kurt Hummel (Chris Colfer), wheelchair-bound Artie Abrams (Kevin McHale), and goth Tina Cohen-Chang (Jenna Ushkowitz).

Also in the mix are the Glee Club’s two arch-nemesis groups: the cheerleading squad (or “Cheerios”) and a football-teamful of bullies.

I finally caught the show’s pilot this past weekend and I think Glee’s got promise.  It has some tone issues, can be overly cheesy, and has a few stereotypical characters, but it’s quite pleasant to look at, has got some great one-liners, and the musical numbers (including a rousing rendition of Journey’s “Don’t Stop Believing” in the pilot) will leave you positively… gleeful!  SNAP!

And best of all, we’ve got the amazing Jane Lynch (Best in Show, The 40-Year-Old Virgin, other misc. Christopher Guest and Judd Apatow movies), as head cheerleading coach Sue Sylvester, a woman unafraid to be absolutely cruel and crass.  Sample quote: “You think this is hard? I’m living with Hepatitis, that’s hard!”  LOVE HER!

Tune in tonight!  We’ll see how Glee progresses.  Catch the pilot here, in case you missed it.