Yes, that’s right: Kim Kardashian has corn rows. Will the entertainment world ever be the same?! I’ll give you a moment to let the shock of it all sink in. Ready? Fine, five more seconds……ok, let’s talk about it.

So, what exactly was Kim Kardashian thinking? The girls of Keeping Up With the Kardashians have always been about fashion and glamour, so Kim Kardashian looking like she just got her hair braided on a Disney cruise line is a bit of a surprise. Is this for some secret acting role? Perhaps Kim was cast as the romantic lead in Avatar 2, because she sure looks like that Avatar lady with this new hair style. If that’s the case maybe they could borrow some of that Avatar digital effects technology to make Bruce Jenner look like an actual human being on Keeping Up With the Kardashians.

The real rumors swirling around the hair are that it somehow ties into her New Year’s Eve gig at TAO in Las Vegas (maybe it will be an ugly hair theme show?) or her supposed musical collaboration with Kanye West. Oh Kanye, how could you let yourself get dragged into Kim Kardashian’s potential(ly awful) music career? You have the best reviewed album of the year! You don’t have to team up with a reality starlet! If you burst onto the stage at the Emmys when The Amazing Race wins best reality show and demand the trophy goes to Keeping Up With the Kardashians I will be very disappointed in you. Oh, and Kim, quit trying to steal Kenny Powers’ thunder. His hair on Eastbound and Down defined corn rows for 2010.

Very Gossip Girl, no?

Everyone’s favorite summer show Pretty Little Liars returns to ABC Family with new episodes on Monday, January 3rd!  Catch up on episodes 1 through 10 online before tuning in for the second half of the first season.  Sure, the show has some issues, but it’s deliciously ridiculous, and the mystery was just heating up at the end of the summer.  If nothing else, Pretty Little Liars is an excellent way to fill the January television gap before the rest of the season kicks off.  I mean, Glee doesn’t start up until February 6th (after Super Bowl XLV), so something has to fill the hours!

As for your weekly, daily, hourly Kardashian update, two bits of news are floating around today: the first is that it’s been confirmed that Kourtney’s son Mason will not appear on Kourtney and Kim Take New York.  The Kardashians will whore themselves out to do many things…as long as they get paid.  Baby daddy Scott Disick went to the mattresses, so to speak, and refused to let Mason appear for less than $5000 per episode.  E! bosses didn’t budge from their offer of $1000 per, and thus: Mason will not be seen on KAKTNY.  Alas?  Cue Kourtney’s reinvention as a swinging single!

Secondly, and perhaps more importantly, Kim is soon to release her first single!  And has been shooting her first single’s music video with none other than the ego himself, Kanye West.  Cue pearl clutching and Taylor Swift bashing!  Directed by Hype Williams, the video’s set was closed to onlookers and lookeyloos ‘cuz we all wants to know: is Kanye just in it, or does he duet?  Gotta know, gotta know!  Maybe it’s a lurve connection!

Last, and probably least (and lacking a Kardashian konnection), Camille Grammer–er–Camille Donatacci (Kelsey Grammer’s soon-to-be ex-wife) is getting $50 million for spousal and child support.  Say what!  The woman has four nannies–I don’t think $50 mil is enough, do you?  Next thing you know, she’ll be wanting/needing her own Bravo spinoff of The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills.  Madness all around!

Lady Gaga and Cher, who is apparently part giant, part lion and all bad taste.

Last night was the MTV Video Music Awards, although this year they should have been titled The Lady Gaga Awards since she was all anybody seemed to talk about. I would say the VMAs were gaga for Gaga, but I’m sure I have been beaten to it by half of the blogosphere. I knew Lady Gaga was popular (I mean she did get her own episode of Glee), and I don’t pretend to be up on current pop music, but I was under the impression that there were still a few other singers out there. Of course, what is really surprising is that a channel that plays Jersey Shore and Teen Mom in place of any music videos still hosts a video music awards. The Video Music Awards should be on some 900 level Comcast channel that actually plays music videos and MTV should be hosting the Underaged Pregnancy and New Jersey Stereotype Awards. Maybe that’s why Lady Gaga seemed to win everything: MTV plays 30 seconds from a music video once a day at 2:49 AM and it’s always Lady Gaga, so she wins by default.

Ms. Gaga was nominated for 13 awards (a new record), won 8 awards (a new record), changed her outfit 8 times to accept each award (a new record) and managed to give 8 consecutive thank you speeches without having the microphone snatched away (not a record, but a notable achievement with Kanye West in the same building). Speaking of Kanye, a year after he stole the microphone from Taylor Swift at the 2009 VMAs, the show was abuzz about the two of them performing. Get over it!  People act like Kanye was out of line, but he was sure to promise he would let her finish! That’s a gentleman! Well the two of them did end up performing, but sadly not together. I would have loved to see Kanye impulsively steal Taylor’s microphone to do a one-man duet. I have a feeling Kanye’s ego is big enough to think he could sing a duet by himself. But despite not performing together, they definitely had each other on their minds. Taylor sang a new song that referenced the year old incident, and Kanye also perfomed a new song with references and apologies for his selfish behavior. It was a fun internet meme for 2 days last year, but they really need to move on.

The other big winner of the night was Eminem (or as the kids of today probably know him, “that old white rapper”), who won several awards like Best Male Video and Best Hip-Hop Video. You know, the ones that Lady Gaga wasn’t eligible for. Justin Bieber won for Best New Artist and also a lifetime achievement award in the Worst Male Hair Trendsetter category. Past honorees in this category have included The Beatles, Hanson and Twisted Sister. Ok, I made that award up, but speaking of terribly frightening hair, Cher was also in attendance! She wore a skin tight outfit and had the same ridiculous hair she became so well known for. Good to see that after various fashion phases Cher is back to dressing exactly the same as when MTV started!

I wasn’t expecting much from last night’s Oscars since it was lacking big ticket nominees (Avatar aside). But there were some laughs, history-breaking moments and the ceremony was short and sweet. Same formula as last year’s show (the Tina Fey-narrated screenplay nominees, extra kudos for the Best Acting nominees and I swear they used that same Best Make Up nominee graphic last year), but they ironed out the wrinkles (yay for nixing the herky-jerky camera panning!).

I’m never one to talk fashion (plus, the dresses were disappointingly beautiful this year), so let’s get straight to the show highlights:

Belle of the Ball - None other than the elegant, raaadiant Ms. Meryl Streep whose affable, delighted-to-laugh attitude and cover-her-face-out-of-glee/modesty/embarrassment mannerism made her the loveliest front row participant. She became the go-to gal for practically every host, presenter and award winner and was always ready with an encouraging smile and friendly chuckle. Hollywood freaking loves Meryl Streep and who can blame them?

It Takes Two, Baby - I love the acerbic wittiness of Steve Martin and Alec Baldwin. Their co-hosting job, while uneven, had me at perma-grin whenever they were on-screen. I liked Steve Martin’s solo hosting gig a few years back, but the duo played the “love this guy, hate this guy” rapport with panache and I wouldn’t mind seeing them do the honors again - when they have better material/nominees to work with.

Poker Face or Bad Romance? - Were George Clooney’s stone-hard reaction shots just “playing along” with the on-stage banter of Martin and Baldwin, or was he as pissed off as he looked all night? Usually Clooney’s a good sport, what gives?

Seriously, Oscars? - Isn’t this 2010? Why are we still cutting the camera to a Jewish person when Jews are mentioned (see: Ethan Coen during a “So many Jews in Hollywood” joke), or an African-American when anything Precious-related occurred (”Precious just won Best Original Screenplay! Let’s see how… Morgan Freeman is taking this in! Sure, he’s not even involved in the film, but he’s black and so are the leads in the film!”). Seriously, Oscars?

“Wait, did she just backhand us?” - Mo’Nique’s been on a roll, deservedly collecting award after award for her barenaked performance in Precious. Usually she gives touching, inspirational acceptance speeches, and we like it. We like fierce, we like pride, we like passion, but didn’t Mo’Nique come off as dissing her fellow Supporting Actress nominees by, “thanking the Academy for awarding performance over politics”? I’m hoping she didn’t mean it that way, but it sure sounded like she was belittling the performances of the other ladies in her category.

Hey Audience, Remember That You’re on Camera - Speaking of, what do we think of Samuel L. Jackson’s wide-eyed, “that was intense” mouthing of “Wow…” reaction shot after Mo’Nique’s speech? Sammy J. agrees with me! [Notice again: Mo'Nique won and they cut to Samuel L. Jackson even though he had nothing to do with Precious.] Anyway, back to my point - I’d like to take this moment to remind all members of the Oscar audience that YOU ARE ON CAMERA. So think before you: shrug with indifference over a no-name winner, roll your eyes at a bad joke, or give your partner a “that b!tch was crazy” look. *We can see you!*

Watch Your Head, Watch Your Step - That stage was a little over-done, wouldn’t you say? Who was the set designer? There were so many moving parts: rotating staircases, sliding screens, microphones that raised and dropped from the ground. I felt like the presenters were navigating through a booby-trapped level of Marble Madness! And who thought that a backdrop of lampshades would be classy in that setting? No me gusta.

Don’t You Forget About John Hughes - 80’s freaks collectively squealed to see Molly Ringwald, Matthew Broderick, Judd Nelson, Jon Cryer, Anthony Michael Hall and Ally Sheedy (what, we couldn’t just do a straight Breakfast Club only reunion?) on-stage and paying tribute to the late John Hughes. We love some 80’s teen angst and foibles, but why was Hughes the only deceased to get a dedicated segment? Why not forego that sloppy “Tribute to Horror films” montage (which included Beetlejuice, Misery and Edward Scissorhands?) and give Patrick Swayze a dance tribute or something?

Subtitles Should Not Be Necessary - Loved when Best Foreign Language Film, El Secreto de Sus Ojos director Juan Jose Campanella thanked the Academy for ”not considering Na’vi a foreign language.” Unfortunately, judging by the cool silence of the audience, they didn’t understand his accent and it may have required some s’plaining.

So I Don’t Think You Should Dance - Adam Shankman, judge of So You Think You Can Dance, produced last night’s Oscars which explains the cameos from former SYTYCDers and The League of Extraordinary Dancers to interpret the Best Original Scores (through the Robot and Pop-locking). SYTYCD nerds spotted dancers Channing Cooke, Nick Lazzarini, Travis Wall, Legacy Perez, Jakob Karr, Tony Bellisimo, Noelle Marsh, Kathryn McCormick, Russell Ferguson and Lil C in the mix. I’m a fan of SYTYCD, but the execution for the Best Original Score number was sloppy and didn’t impress me as much as it did for say… Penelope Cruz, who was adorbs and beaming afterward. BAILAMOS!

Kanye Moment of the Night - Did anyone expect on-stage shenanigans to occur during the Best Documentary Short acceptance speech? One minute, we’re watching Roger Ross Williams accept the award for Music By Prudence and the next thing we know, he’s bum-rushed by brassy-haired, brassy broad Elinor Burkett. Apparently, she left the project due to creative differences but had no problem with collecting the accolade while Williams stood by in shock. More behind the dispute from Salon.

Most Inappropriate Time to Bust Out the Hooker Heels - I’m talking to you, Demi Moore! You almost got the outfit right this year, but those gold stripper heels were all wrong, especially as you presented the In Memorium segment.

Leaving Out an Angel - Why wasn’t Farrah Fawcett part of the In Memorium? She’s been in films too, you Oscar bast@rds!

Ben, it’s okay to just be you - Is it a pre-requisite for Ben Stiller to show up every year in a lukewarm sight gag? Last year was the awkward Joaquin Phoenix beard and this year he dressed as an Avatar. *yawn*

Thanks for the Deja Vu - I’m serious. Last year, j’adored how they brought five previous Oscar winners on-stage to give a dedicated “love letter” speech to each of the Acting nominees. After all, we tune in to the Oscars for the movie stars, the glamour and their pride as they bask in the self-importance of their art, right? Thankfully, this may become an Oscar tradition because they did it again (although why was it was reserved only for the Best Actor and Best Actress nominees?). Another change was this time, the nominees heard from past costars, directors and er… Oprah Winfrey. It worked and had a very Screen Actors Guild-y vibe about it. Plus, we like hearing behind-the-scenes quips about Morgan Freeman allegedly telling Tim Robbins, “A friend is someone who’ll get you a cup of coffee… So could you do that for me, Ted?  It is ‘Ted’, isn’t it?”; Dame Helen Mirren sporting a sexy spiderweb tattoo on her hand; and Colin Farrell and Jeremy Renner getting plastered in Mexico together, etc. etc.. And then, of course, you had Oprah’s dramatic ode to the whirlwind Hollywood journey taken by Precious newcomer Gabourey Sidibe, which was really moving. From struggling student to actress to nominated alongside Meryl Streep in a year? Fantastic story. Even better? Having the Oprah as a reference at your first Oscars attendance. Newbies win!

Get “The Dude” Off of the Stage Please - We all knew Jeff Bridges would win Best Actor and we’re happy for the likable guy, but didn’t his “groovy” and “man”-laden speech ramble on for a minute or two too long?

Newest Old Face in the Crowd - Sandra Bullock. She’s definitely one of America’s sweethearts and it’s great to see her comeback (in the same year she won a Razzie for the stinker All About Steve, mind you), but did she change her face? Did her nose always look like that? Regardless, I loved her acceptance speech which mixed tears, humility and self-deprecating humor. But now we want to hear more details about George Clooney throwing her into a pool - dish it, Sandy!

Hurts, Don’t It? - Some may be pleased to say, “Suck it, James Cameron!” but at least he looked gracious about losing multiple awards (including the bigguns for Best Director and Best Picture) to his ex-wife Kathryn Bigelow and her film The Hurt Locker. Let’s hear it for the girl, who made history by being the first woman ever to win a Best Director award! Biggy up to Bigelow!

Full list of Oscar winners here. Did you tune in last night? What’d you think of the festivities?

ALSO! Today we’ll be drawing our three winners for our Square Eyes Starry-Eyed Oscars Contest! Did you predict all of the winners correctly? If so, keep an eye on your inbox to see if you won six-months of free Netflix from Square Eyes!

Calling all music lovers, the 52nd Grammy Awards are on this Sunday!

Expect a ton of stars to attend and perform: a little Gaga here, some B.E.P. over there, here a Green Day, there an Elton John, everywhere a T-Pain! Not to mention a 3-D tribute (wtf?) to Michael Jackson and a Bon Jovi performance that viewers can determine (how can you consider anything other than “Livin’ On a Prayer”?  Vote at CBS.com)!

Beyonce leads the pack with 10 nominations, but folks are predicting that Miss Taylor Swift will be snatching up an armful of clunky, gold, phonograph-shaped trophies for her album Fearless. This has really been Taylor’s year (even the Kayne West/MTV Video Music Awards fiasco ended up being a “Team Taylor!”-rallying blessing for her).

Full list of Grammy nominees here. Big category nominees below:

Album of the Year
» Beyoncé, I Am … Sasha Fierce
» The Black Eyed Peas, The E.N.D.
» Lady Gaga, The Fame
» Dave Matthews, Big Whiskey and the GrooGrux King
» Taylor Swift, Fearless

Record of the Year
» Beyoncé, “Halo”
» The Black Eyed Peas, “I Gotta Feeling”
» Kings of Leon, “Use Somebody”
» Lady Gaga, “Poker Face”
» Taylor Swift, “You Belong With Me”

Song of the Year
» Beyoncé, “Single Ladies (Put a Ring on It)”
» Taylor Swift, “You Belong With Me”
» Lady Gaga, “Poker Face”
» Maxwell, “Pretty Wings”
» Kings of Leon, “Use Somebody”

Best Pop Performance by a Duo or Group With Vocals
» The Black Eyed Peas, “I Gotta Feeling”
» Bon Jovi, “We Weren’t Born to Follow”
» The Fray, “Never Say Never”
» Hall & Oates, “Sara Smile”
» MGMT, “Kids”

Catch the Grammy Awards this Sunday, January 31st, 8PM ET/PT on CBS. And vote in our poll for who YOU’D like to see take home the Album of the Year award!

The adorable Taylor Swift hosted Saturday Night Live this weekend and knocked it out of the park with “Monologue Song (La La La)”.  Check her out:

Yep, she totally touched on some scandal!  From her text breakup with Joe Jonas, to rumors of dating Twilight werewolf Taylor Lautner and (but of course!) the whole MTV VMA incident with Kanye West, it’s all in there.  LOVE HER!

Oh SNAP!  South Park has done the unthinkable!

South Park has humbled Kanye West!  The animated series lampooned Kanye’s ego earlier this week - you know, the way they do with everyone.

Peep this clip, or view the episode in full:

Then after that, yadda yadda yadda, Kanye’s depicted as a gay fish who sings underwater in a vocoder voice.  It’s funny or whatever… but who cares?

Kanye does!! Kanye does!! Kanye does!! Check out this amazing Caps Lock rant from his official blog:

“SOUTH PARK MURDERED ME LAST NIGHT AND IT’S PRETTY FUNNY. IT HURTS MY FEELINGS BUT WHAT CAN YOU EXPECT FROM SOUTH PARK! I ACTUALLY HAVE BEEN WORKING ON MY EGO THOUGH. HAVING THE CRAZY EGO IS PLAYED OUT AT THIS POINT IN MY LIFE AND CAREER. I USE TO USE IT TO BUILD UP MY ESTEEM WHEN NOBODY BELIEVED IN ME. NOW THAT PEOPLE DO BELIEVE AND SUPPORT MY MUSIC AND PRODUCTS THE BEST RESPONSE IS THANK YOU INSTEAD OF “I TOLD YOU SO!!!” IT’S COOL TO TALK SHIT WHEN YOU’RE RAPPING BUT NOT IN REAL LIFE. WHEN YOU MEET LITTLE WAYNE IN PERSON HE’S THE NICEST GUY FOR EXAMPLE. I JUST WANNA BE A DOPER PERSON WHICH STARTS WITH ME NOT ALWAYS TELLING PEOPLE HOW DOPE I THINK I AM. I NEED TO JUST GET PAST MYSELF. DROP THE BRAVADO AND JUST MAKE DOPE PRODUCT. EVERYTHING IS NOT THAT SERIOUS. AS LONG AS PEOPLE THINK I ACT LIKE A BITCH THIS TYPE OF SHIT WILL HAPPEN TO ME. I GOT A LONG ROAD AHEAD OF ME TO MAKE PEOPLE BELIEVE I’M NOT ACTUALLY A HUGE DOUCHE BUT I’M UP FOR THE CHALLENGE. I’M SURE THE WRITERS AT SOUTH PARK ARE REALLY NICE PEOPLE IN REAL LIFE. THANKS FOR TAKING THE TIME TO DRAW MY CREW. THAT WAS PRETTY FUNNY ALSO!! I’M SURE THERE’S GRAMMATICAL ERRORS IN THIS… THAT’S HOW YOU KNOW IT’S ME!”

Bummer.  Am I the only one who’ll miss his ego trips?

Hey Kanye!  Remember how much it sucks that you’ll never get to see yourself perform live?  And how you’re God’s vessel?  And how you don’t read history cuz you’re too busy writing it?  COME ON!

Suck it, South Park.

Yo!  You guys watch Saturday Night Live this past weekend?

The show was hosted by House’s Hugh Laurie, who’s got a killer British accent in addition to his fake American one.  Musical guest was Kanye West, and most notably, it was the lovely Amy Poehler’s last show, which she announced after a killer final Weekend Update.

Woulda been sentimental, had Fred Armisen as blind New York Governor David Paterson not gotten all up in everyone’s TV sets.  The skit has everyone’s panties all up in a bunch this morning; Armisen was even accused of mocking the disabled by the blind Gov himself.

What do I think?  Well, thanks for asking!  IIIIII personally think just about everything should be fair game for jokemaking, as long as the joke’s funny.  Even 9/11’s permissible on the joke scene these days; why isn’t blindness?  It’s AT LEAST seven years old, am I right?  I just don’t see the big deal.

Hyuck hyuck.  Too soon?

So anyway, the big joke this week actually wasn’t on blind people, it was on Kanye West fans.  As someone who has spoken out in support of West in the past, even I’ll admit, his performance was dung city.  My homegirl over at Best Week Ever agrees.

If you’re in the U.S., check out Love Lockdown below (more like Love YUCKdown!):

Ha!  If you’ve been keeping up with The Colbert Report, you’ve likelly heard wacky ole Stephen Colbert’s call to action to humble Kanye West.  Namely, Colbert wants everyone to purchase his Christmas album on iTunes and push Kanye down from his superior iTunes spot.

Well, today, it’s a success! Kanye’s 808s & Heartbreak has dropped to #4, while A Colbert Christmas has reached spot #3.

Go Stephen Go!

Now, though I love The Colbert Report to pieces, I also, personally, have no problem with Kanye’s crazy-sized ego.  In fact, I kinda like it!  I appreciate a person with some self-confidence.  Why do well all have to be such downers all the time?  I like your style, Kanye West!

And it doesn’t even bug me that, in Kanye’s opinion, if the Bible were written today, he’d be in it.  Who’s to say he’s wrong?

Actually, this post on the Best Week Ever blog, Why Kanye West Is Not A “Douche”, expresses my sentiments exactly.  Nope.  Totally not bothered by Kanye.

Hey!  So what’s Kanye’s response to all this Colbert mumbo jumbo anyway?  It’s pretty good, in my opinion.  Check out his tweet here.

Nah.  Still not finding him annoying.