Posts Tagged ‘jokes’

Colbert for President!

Posted by BRADY in The Daily Show with Jon Stewart

January 20th, 2012, 05:30 PM

The next President(s) of the United States of America

Stephen Colbert has been mocking politicians on The Colbert Report for years, but now he’s taking his schtick to the podium, announcing himself as a fake candidate for President (but only in South Carolina). And the craziest part? His rally in South Carolina this afternoon (along with fellow fake candidate Hermain Cain) drew a much larger crowd than any other candidate’s in the state so far. That’s a lot of people taking time off work for a joke, and that is hilariously awesome.

To recap, about a year ago Colbert was given the right to create his own SuperPAC, an organization that has no official affiliation to a candidate but buys up air time slamming the opponents. How he even got this was amazing, but that was just the beginning. After a few humorous ads, Colbert got bored with the SuperPAC and handed over control to Jon Stewart so that he could concentrate on forming an exploratory committee to possibly run for President (but only in South Carolina). Of course Colbert waited far too long to get his name on the ballot, meaning he is thinking about running even though nobody can vote for him. Hermain Cain, however, is still on the ballot after dropping out of the race, and since Cain is a walking punchline, Colbert has instructed voters to vote for Hermain Cain as a proxy, in order to show their support for his potential run for President. Confused? Don’t be, it’s just as ridiculous as it sounds.

Colbert and Stewart have been having a field day mocking the “laws” surrounding campaign financing and SuperPACS, testing the limits of what “coordination” between a SuperPAC and a candidate means (in short, it’s empty words that mean nothing). And better yet, Hermain Cain, ever the lover of attention, is more than happy to join in. Him and Colbert hosted a joint rally today to encourage voters to see them as the exact same person, and as I said before, it actually got the highest turnout for any rally in the state. And with Colbert’s SuperPAC airing ads calling Mitt Romney a serial killer throughout the state, is there a chance that Colbert (I mean Cain…) will actually get a  fair share of votes? I certainly hope so, because it makes some damn good TV.

Rock me like a Hermain Cain indeed…

Carrey’s Creepy Crush Confession

Posted by BRADY in celebrity gossip

August 26th, 2011, 02:24 PM

For seemingly no reason at all, yesterday Jim Carrey filmed himself confessing his undying love and affection for 22 year old actress Emma Stone. He acknowledges he is far too old for her (sorry Jim, doesn’t cut down on the creep factor to point out that you know you’re being creepy) but then goes on to describe the chubby freckled babies they would have together as well as some mentions of their…intimate times in this alternate universe he has constructed in his head. This is definitely not wacky Jim Carrey from Bruce Almighty, this is full on creepy Jim Carrey from The Number 23. Except, unlike that movie, this video is actually entertaining

The amazing part of this video is how much of the entertainment news world is reporting on it like it’s real, saying Jim shows “no sign of sarcasm” and acts “extremely creepy.” Yeah, acts! He’s an actor! I know he’s been in a few dramas in recent years, and most of his comedies these days aren’t actually funny, but let’s not forget that Jim Carrey is a comedian! He makes people laugh! And if you ask me this video is one of the funniest things he’s done in recent years. It’s bizarre, unexpected, and he totally commits to the bit all the way through. Plus it’s not some viral video designed to promote the Mr. Popper’s Penguins DVD release or something. It’s just him doing something dumb and acting like a weird idiot because he thinks it’s funny. That’s what the internet is for!

And to be fair, who doesn’t love Emma Stone?! She’s amazingly talented, funny, pretty and for the most part she actually chooses to be in good movies. The entire internet should be full of people confessing their love to her!

Kirstie Alley Feuds With George Lopez

Posted by BRADY in Dancing With The Stars, celebrity gossip

March 25th, 2011, 02:32 PM

See, these are the kinds of feuds I can really get into! The kind where I don’t really care about either person involved and can just watch as spectator sport! This is kind of an odd one, since I don’t think I ever would have guess Kirstie Alley and George Lopez would be fighting over a joke he made. Mostly because I would think by this point Kirstie Alley has built up a hard, outer shell to ward off fat jokes (a lesser writer would make an M&M joke here) and because I honestly had no idea anybody actually watched Lopez Tonight.

But apparently George Lopez made some jokes about Kirstie Alley appearing on Dancing with the Stars (surprise, surprise: they were about her weight!) and Kirstie wasn’t a fan. Now if Kirstie was to go to war with every comedian who made a fat joke about her, she’d be a very busy girl. She’s kind of a late night monologue staple (a lesser writer would make a stomach stapling joke here), but then again that’s kind of something she’s invited. There are plenty of pleasantly plump celebs who get left alone, but when you star in shows called Fat Actress and Kirstie Aley’s Big Life, featuring ad campaigns that feature nothing but you eating desserts, people start to think you can take a joke. And usually Kirstie can, but I guess it was the especially ugly nature of Lopez’s joke that got to her. He flat out called her a pig.

George said her routine looked like a pig with “little hooves tapping away” and that “before the show, she went to the market and then she had roast beef.” He finally played a video of a pig in a car, claiming that it was Alley. Really, couldn’t dig up some B-roll of a pig on the dance floor? Try a little harder, Lopez Tonight research department! So how did Kirstie react? Well first she made some really strained 3 Little Pigs analogy and seemed to threaten to throw George Lopez into a boiling vat of vodka. It wasn’t the strongest comeback. But after Lopez tried to apologize she hit back hard with this one!

BOOM! For those who don’t know, George Lopez recently divorced his wife who had given him a kidney not too long ago. Now if someone finds George Lopez in a bathtub full of ice with a kidney cut out, we have Twitter proof of who did it. So I guess I’m on Team Kirstie this time, because her joke was funnier.

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