All of these people are awesome and deserve Emmys. That is all.

It’s Emmy Season! With the nominees officially announced, and months to go until the actual broadcast, there’s only one thing for TV bloggers to do: speculate and complain! But first let’s kick things off with what makes me happy.

The Good

Mad Men got 17 nominations, including one for Jared Harris (aka the mopey, bespectacled Brit Lane Pryce) for best supporting actor! Of course he should still lose to the brilliant Peter Dinklange from Game of Thrones, but I’m still glad to see his stellar work get some recognition. Louis CK, and his amazing show Louie, also got a ton of nominations! Yay good comedy! Speaking of, the comedy series they chose this year are mostly spot on, without any of those pesky pay cable “dramadies” poking their nose in and bumping out shows that actually have way more, you know, comedy. And finally, Margaret Cho was nominated as a guest star for her hilarious performance as Kim Jong-il on 30 Rock. If you saw any of those episodes, you’ll understand why it’s ok to root for Kim Jong-il.

The Bad

Sure, Amy Poehler got her much deserved best comedy actress nomination, but no love for the rest of Parks and Recreation?! No nomination for Nick Offerman as Ron Swanson?! Come on Emmys, get it together. You’ve had 4 seasons. The man is a living TV icon. Nick Offerman should be awards best actor in a comedy and his mustache best supporting actor in a comedy. That’s how good he is. And although I praised the academy for recognizing Louis CK for his acting, writing, and directing… why wasn’t the show nominated for best comedy? So you guys love every important element of the show but not the show itself? What, was the lighting not Emmy worthy or something?

The Ugly

Betty White is nominated as best variety program host for her show Betty White’s Off their Rockers. I get it, America still can’t get enough of Betty White for whatever reason. But this means a show about old people pulling lame pranks on young people is officially nominated for an Emmy. I’m not the only one who finds that unacceptable, right?

Why haven’t every single one of these people won every single Emmy?

Ok, best comedy show. But seriously, are you watching Parks and Recreation yet? What started out as a re-branded version of The Office has morphed over 4 seasons into both the funniest and sweetest show on television, even outshining the consistently hilarious (and award show darling) 30 Rock which airs right before it. I love good comedy, and there is certainly a lot of it on TV right now, from well-crafted standard sitcoms like Modern Family and Up All Night to original and off the wall creations like IFC’s The Increasingly Poor Decisions of Todd Margaret and Adult Swim’s Delocated. But in my humble opinion Parks and Recreation stands above them all for constant laughs and characters I can’t wait to check in on weekly, and for my money the recent string of episodes since the holiday break could stand up against any Emmy winning comedy episodes throughout the decades. Of course Parks (much like my beloved, in danger of cancellation Community) has been snubbed by the Emmys, with no awards for the stellar writing and only Amy Poehler earning a nomination among the actors. The fact that Nick Offerman hasn’t been nominated for his brilliant performance as Ron Swanson, probably the greatest character on TV at the moment, is an outrage. Or, as Amy Poehler famously commented, “a hot load of bullsh**”. Well said. But if the shows keeps up this quality, a lack of recognition will be downright criminal.

If you’re still not on board, enjoy this video which proves that Rob Lowe, once stuck in boring old dramas like The West Wing and Brothers and Sisters, is actually one of the funniest men on TV:

Emmy committee, you might as well just give Kim her Emmy now…

Kim Kardashian, like many reality TV stars, is a bit of a conundrum. As we all know, reality shows along the lines of Keeping Up with the Kardashians are pretty far from “reality,” with producers and behind the scenes editors coaching out intriguing twists and manufacturing easy to publicize drama. And on the show Kim “acts” all the time. Are we really supposed to believe she had a heart to heart with her mom about whether its normal to not want to see your husband? Obviously not, it was a scene created to play up her divorce. She was acting. So then why is she so terrible at acting acting? We’re going to find out if her years on reality TV have helped her improve at all when she joins the cast of Drop Dead Diva for a multi-episode story arc. Well, someone will find out, because it’s on Lifetime, and no way in the world am I watching something on that channel. Except for Project Runway, because Tim Gunn is awesome. And that new Rob Lowe Lifetime movie where he has a bad mustache and says “I’m untouchable, bitch.” That kind of looks great as well. Ok fine, I watch Lifetime, I admit it.

Now, if I can, let me speak directly to Kim: Kim, oh Kim, why are you doing this? Do you really think you’re going to become a legitimate actress one day? Who could possibly ever see past the fact that you’re Kim Kardashian? I hardly think you’re going to start disappearing into your roles like Meryl Streep or something. If you were in the Iron Lady you better believe Margaret Thatcher would have had a bedazzled iPhone, said “like” a lot and worn much shorter skirts. Here’s the thing Kim, you are great at many things. Getting paid to go to clubs, getting paid to lend your name and face to products you would never use (come on, a clothing line at Sears?!), getting paid to be yourself on TV, getting paid to get married on TV, getting paid to talk about your divorce on TV, getting paid to wear very little in men’s interest magazines, etc. You know what you’re not so hot at? Things that require talent. I think your first acting gig in Disaster Movie (even you can admit that was a…well,that joke writes itself) and your not so hit single Jam prove that you should steer clear of things that talented people do, like act and sing. You’re Kim Kardashian, you are in the business of being Kim Kardashian. That’s all anybody wants out of you.

Note to award show hosts: unless it’s the Tonys, stop with the musical numbers

I’ve had a real case of Emmy fever the past month, really looking forward to the big day to see which of my favorite shows were honored. I’ve found the best cure for that is actually watching the Emmys! Aside from a few chuckle-worthy moments, like Amy Poehler leading all the “best actress in a comedy” nominees in an impromptu pageant parody, it was kind of a snooze-fest. My thoughts below!

-Jane Lynch, as hilarious as an improvisational actress as she is, is far too nice to host one of these things. Was there a single joke about a celebrity? It’s the one time you have a captive audience of the biggest TV stars in the world, make some jokes about them! I guess Ricky Gervais’ Golden Globes gig has scared some hosts into behaving themselves.

-Modern Family is good, but it’s not that good. It’s a great cast and great writing, but maybe the Emmys should reward a show like Louie, which is re-defining what a half hour comedy can be, rather than just a group who know how to work the old formula very well. Or at least Parks and Recreation, simply because it’s so hilarious.

-No Emmy for Steve Carell? Seriously? Say what you will about the decline in quality of The Office over the past few seasons (trust me, I have) but there is no denying what Carell brought to the character of Michael Scott to make that one of the most successful sitcoms of the decade. Yet he never won a single Emmy?? After his poignant farewell episode this would have been a perfect time to reward his body of TV work before he heads off into the world of movies full time. Instead that annoying guy from Big Bang Theory won. Again. Boo.

-I didn’t know they gave out Emmys for movies, but they must because Melissa McCarthy won her Emmy for her awesome performance in Bridesmaids. Because there’s no way her role on Mike and Molly won her that trophy over the likes of Amy Poehler and Tina Fey.

-Peter Dinklage won an Emmy! He’s been a great actor for years and stole every scene he appeared in on this season of Game of Thrones, so I was very glad to see him win.

-Charlie Sheen must be running out of money and realizing he needs the TV industry much more than they need him. That’s the only explanation for his awkward well-wishes for Two and a Half Men, which elicited hesitant giggles from an audience waiting for a punchline that never came.

-Will Arnett and Amy Poehler are without question the greatest couple in Hollywood. They even made the horrible red carpet interviews hilarious!

The Emmy nominations have been revealed! You can check them all out here if you’re a big fan of lists. Sure there were the usual suspects (The Office, Tina Fey, Mad Men, Pawn Stars…wait, that last one might only be in my dreams) but this year’s lost actually has quite a few surprises! Including the most surprising snubs, of course. So let’s take a look at the good, the bad and the ugly of this year’s Emmy noms!

The Good

Parks and Recreation finally got nominated for best comedy series! About damn time if you ask me. Parks and Recreation has been by far the funniest sitcom to grace the small screen in the past few years, so I’m glad it’s finally getting the attention it deserves for such fantastic comedy writing and performances. Amy Poehler is also up for best comedic actress! Yay! I was also ecstatic to see that Louis C.K. from Louie got nominated for best actor in a comedy series, a category that rarely pays attention to cable channels like FX. Of course he should have been nominated in every single category for writing, directing, editing and starring in it, but baby steps I suppose.

Over in drama, Peter Dinklage got nominated as a supporting actor for Game of Thrones, which is completely awesome. Peter Dinklage is a very cool guy better known for his comedic roles in Elf and 30 Rock, but he also happens to be the best character on Game of Thrones, so it’s very nice to see him getting the respect he deserves. Also in drama there’s one familiar face missing: no 3 year in a row winner Bryan Cranston? Apparently Breaking Bad wasn’t on in the qualifying period, so no nominations this time around. He’s amazing on that show, but I simply put this in the “good” category because it gives someone else a chance in the category he’s had a lock on. Could it be Jon Hamm’s turn?

The Bad

Nick Offerman was somehow ignored for his always hilarious performance as Ron Swanson on Parks and Recreation. Listen, I love Modern Family too, but did all 4 of those guys really need nominations in the supporting actor category? And did the guys from The Big Bang Theory really deserve nominations? Are we awarding them for the way they pause and wait for the fake laughs to die down? Put Offerman in one of those categories! Ron Swanson isn’t just the best character on TV, he’s the best thing about TV. Period. As Amy Poehler said about Offerman’s Emmy snub: “It’s a hot load of bull**** that he didn’t get a nomination and you can quote me on that.” Will do!

The Ugly

Not a single nomination for Community?! Not the show? Not the writing? Not any of the brilliant cast-members? Not the directing? Are you serious?! Emmy voters, you people are watching TV wrong. That’s all I can say.

Seriously, no nomination?! Chevy disapproves.

Chace Crawford is a classy piece

That’s just one of the delicious bits of info floating around the internet! Top interesting stories today include:

Chace Crawford has submitted himself for an Emmy as Lead Actor in a Drama, for his work on Gossip Girl. Don’t worry, Chace–your inevitable failure won’t keep me from seeing you star with Katie Holmes (aka Kate Cruise) in upcoming romantic comedy Responsible Adults. Oh, wait–yes, yes it will.

Natalie Portman is celebrating her new baby boy! It’s her first child with fiance (and Black Swan choreographer) Benjamin Millepied.

Crystal Harris has called off her Saturday wedding with Hugh Hefner, and all sorts of speculative shenanigans are to blame! Apparently the 60 year age difference doesn’t even matter?

Last, but not least, and possibly not even least celebrity-related (ahem, Crystal Harris, who are you, other than the woman breaking poor Hugh’s withered old heart?): original 16 and Pregnant and Teen Mom cast member Amber Portwood has been hospitalized after an apparent suicide attempt. According to Amber’s brother, baby daddy Gary Shirley is the reason behind all of Amber’s problems, and is to blame for her attempt. We talk a lotta smack about those two (because, seriously, get it together!), but really: they need to get off of television and into counseling. Stabilize your lives!

Yes, that’s right: Kim Kardashian has corn rows. Will the entertainment world ever be the same?! I’ll give you a moment to let the shock of it all sink in. Ready? Fine, five more seconds……ok, let’s talk about it.

So, what exactly was Kim Kardashian thinking? The girls of Keeping Up With the Kardashians have always been about fashion and glamour, so Kim Kardashian looking like she just got her hair braided on a Disney cruise line is a bit of a surprise. Is this for some secret acting role? Perhaps Kim was cast as the romantic lead in Avatar 2, because she sure looks like that Avatar lady with this new hair style. If that’s the case maybe they could borrow some of that Avatar digital effects technology to make Bruce Jenner look like an actual human being on Keeping Up With the Kardashians.

The real rumors swirling around the hair are that it somehow ties into her New Year’s Eve gig at TAO in Las Vegas (maybe it will be an ugly hair theme show?) or her supposed musical collaboration with Kanye West. Oh Kanye, how could you let yourself get dragged into Kim Kardashian’s potential(ly awful) music career? You have the best reviewed album of the year! You don’t have to team up with a reality starlet! If you burst onto the stage at the Emmys when The Amazing Race wins best reality show and demand the trophy goes to Keeping Up With the Kardashians I will be very disappointed in you. Oh, and Kim, quit trying to steal Kenny Powers’ thunder. His hair on Eastbound and Down defined corn rows for 2010.

The cast of The Walking Dead. Spoilers! Their clothes don’t stay that clean.

Imagine the horror of being locked in a small space, no means of escape, still unsure of how you arrived in this dreadful situation. Outside the door a crazed, naked monster, bereft of human logic and compassion, paces back and forth, destroying everything in it’s path until finally coming after you. But that’s enough about staying in a hotel room with Charlie Sheen, this is supposed to be about zombies!

Last night, after a month long build-up on the channel (as anyone who watched endless promos for it during Mad Men can attest to), The Walking Dead finally premiered on AMC. Although the comic book series it’s based on is both critically acclaimed and sells well (being one of the only comic book series you can find always well-stocked in chains like Borders and Barnes and Noble), the show was still a risky move for AMC and their so-far spotless original programming record. Sure, nobody really cared about Rubicon, but it got decent reviews and wasn’t an embarrassment for the network. Mad Men and Breaking Bad, of course, are Emmy juggernauts that allow AMC to boast about having the best original shows on TV and have no one dare dispute it. So introducing an epic zombie show had the potential for disaster. After all, many would argue that AMC’s loyal audience who love sophisticated, character-driven dramas would scoff at the idea of tuning in to a genre schlock-fest like a zombie show. But boy were they wrong.

The Walking Dead premiered with 5.3 million viewers, AMC’s highest ratings ever for an original program, and gathered 8.1 million viewers in total counting the multiple encore airings into the wee hours of the morning. Take that vampires! Zombies won this Halloween! Part of the success of The Walking Dead (so far) can of course be attributed to horror fans who will tune in for anything zombie related, but I believe the rest is due to the fact that it is actually a good zombie show. While I could see other cable channels (say FX, for instance) taking the opportunity to draw in gore-lovers and push the envelope to gain some sort of infamy that got viewers tuning in to see what crazy thing they did next, The Walking Dead is really about the characters and how they react to this new, terrifying world. Of course there is still some pretty brutal and disturbing scenes, but so far it has always had emotion to go along with it, rather than mindless blood-splattering.

Will The Walking Dead continue it’s stride or will it take a quick plunge into the grave now that folks are out of the Halloween spirit and looking for something cheerier? Only time will tell, but I sure hope it sticks around. Anyone who has read the comic knows that there are some fantastic (and reeeaallly depressing) stories to tell.

Jimmy Fallon hosted the 2010 Emmys, which actually ended on time for once. Fallon is either very well organized or a real slacker!

Last night were the Emmys, and as usual they were full of surprising moments, not so surprising moments, and painfully unfunny prepared banter between presenters. I don’t know which was more awkward, Matthew Perry and Lauren Graham’s jokes (which they apparently thought were brilliant) bombing, or John Krasinski having to call for his line while a visibly annoyed January Jones muttered “are you serious?” under her breath. Oh wait, I got it! It was definitely host Jimmy Fallon pretending that Tom Selleck was his long estranged father and continuing the joke (which Selleck was obviously not into) with a hug, which Selleck responded to with a long silent pause and then “Ok…”

But the show isn’t about TV stars filling time with crappy scripted “conversations,” it’s about awards! Mad Men continued it’s clean sweep of the Emmys, winning it’s third consecutive award for Best Drama, proving once again that Hollywood loves heavy drinking and unfair treatment of women. Which makes the Hollywood shunning of Mel Gibson all the more confusing! AMC continued it’s other clean category sweep, with Bryan Cranston winning his third Best Lead Drama Actor Emmy in a row for his role on Breaking Bad. Although a meth-brewing guy with cancer who deals with the seedy underbelly of the drug and gang world should not live past, say, 4 seasons, I have a feeling they are going to keep finding miraculous ways to let him stay kicking if Cranston keeps racking up the Emmys.

In the world of comedy the big winner was Modern Family, which took home the award for Best Comedy, Best Comedy Writing, and Best Supporting Actor. Modern Family even got their own extended segment on the show for no apparent reason. But it had George Clooney in it and was funny, so who cares. Jim Parsons won for Best Lead Comedy Actor for The Big Bang Theory, through which I learned that he seems even nerdier and more odd in real life than his character, and Edie Falco won for Best Lead Comedy Actress, through which I learned that Nurse Jackie is supposed to be a comedy. Who knew? Jane Lynch of course won for Best Supporting Actress on Glee, because she is awesome and deserves as many awards as there are.

The big losers of the night? First of all, the entire audience 3/4 of the way through the show. They make like 5 decent made for TV movies and mini-series a year and they all get nominated for every one of the seemingly endless categories they have for that portion of programming. Just give them all awards for turning out something better than the average Lifetime original movie (though Pregnancy Pact with Thora Birch looked particularly gripping…) and be done with it! That entire quarter of the show should be called “My DVR Graveyard.” A bunch of things I hear will be good and record, few I end up actually watching. Lost and 24 were also big losers last night, each hoping for some Emmy love for their final season and receiving none. The saddest loser of all, though, was Conan O’Brien. Seeing him win an award for his short time hosting The Tonight Show and accept it live on NBC would have been such sweet, sweet irony.

The best part of the Emmys in my book? Either Ricky Gervais giving another memorable award presentation complete with free beer for the front rows and inappropriate jokes about a winning producer’s name, or those car commercials featuring the cast of Community. Each one was proof of how robbed that show was with 0 nominations!

The people have spoken!  Votes for the first official Square Eyes poll have been tallied and we have a winner!

Q: Which 30 Rock guest star should return this season?

A: Jon Hamm!

He looks like a cartoon pilot!  The Hamm-ster played Liz Lemon neighbor and love interest Dr. Drew Baird in three episodes in Season 3, whose mail led Liz to believe he was the perfect man.  She later breaks off the relaysh due to his living in a bubble (a hot-person-who-always-gets-what-he-wants bubble, that is).  The role earned Hamm an Emmy nomination for Outstanding Guest Actor in a Comedy Series.

Thanks to everyone who voted!