Posts Tagged ‘celebrity gossip’

The TRUTH Behind the Cruise/Holmes Split!

Posted by BRADY in celebrity gossip

July 16th, 2012, 01:58 PM

As you all know, the First Couple of Scientology, Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes, have called it splitsville. It came out of nowhere and Cruise’s people attempted to sweep it under the rug just as quickly, finalizing a divorce in under two weeks, what just might be a Hollywood divorce record. Ever since the divorce was announced the media has been speculating and the internet swirling with rumors about just what happened to spoil their highly secretive marriage. From a “5 year contract” to the old “Suri was grown in a Scientologist lab,” no rumor has been too outlandish and unbelievable. So hey, why not make up some of our own? These are just as likely to be true as most of the theories out there.

-Katie Holmes was brainwashed into forgetting her former life, but Tom accidentally let her watch an episode of You Can’t Trust the B— in Apartment 23, where James Van Der Beek plays himself, and a flood of Dawson’s Creek related memories flashed through her mind, reminding her of who she truly is.

-Tom Cruise became so method about his role in the musical Rock of Ages that he acted like an 80s rock legend for months on end and insisted on singing their every day activities. This would drive anyone crazy.

-Katie saw all the reports about John Travolta’s massage parlor scandal and realized Tom frequented all of the same spas.

-That Oprah incident wasn’t a one time thing. Tom is jumping on couches constantly. It’s not safe for a young child like Suri to be around.

-Remember what Tom Cruise looked like in Tropic Thunder? That wasn’t make-up, that’s his regular appearance. The thin, handsome Tom Cruise we know is a result of 9 hours of make-up and prosthetic every day. Can you blame Katie?

-The new Batman movie has opened up old wounds, and Katie Holmes is now on a one-woman revenge mission against Maggie Gyllenhaal for stealing the role Katie played in Batman Begins and playing it in the way more beloved The Dark Knight.

-The “33 curse” (based on the fact that all 3 of Cruise’s wives have left him at the age of 33) is true. In fact they were all exactly 33 1/3 years old on the day of divorce. This is because Tom Cruise loves vinyl records so much.

-Although they had a whirlwind romance and a happy few years together, eventually Tom and Katie grew apart and realized it would make them happier to be apart and continue their lives. Haha unbelievable! Who would buy that?!

Mel Gibson? Yep, Still Crazy

Posted by BRADY in celebrity gossip

April 20th, 2012, 02:38 PM

Aw come on, does this look like the face of a crazy person? Oh, wait, it totally does

They say time heals all wounds, and that’s especially true in Hollywood. Chris Brown was back on the top of the charts less than a year after beating Rihanna. Dog the Bounty Hunter is back hunting meth-heads after disgracefully leaving the air after dropping racial slurs. Even that dude from Friday Night Lights is starring in Battleship months after the disaster that was John Carter (spoiler alert: I don’t see Battleship going much better). But Mel Gibson just keeps burning any goodwill he builds up to the ground.

It’s no secret that Mel Gibson has had a rocky few years. The drunken arrest and anti-Semitic/sexist remarks that came along with it. The horribly offensive voicemails for his ex-girlfriend. The trial for abusing said ex-girlfriend. The weird beaver puppet movie. But it seemed like Mel was finally getting things under control and making peace. Mel began planning his next directorial feature, The Maccabees, which would be a biblical epic to prove he didn’t hate Jewish people, and Robert Downey Jr. even introduced him at an awards show with an impassioned plea for Hollywood to forgive his sins and let a talented man work again. Boy, I bet Robert wished he saved his breath now.

As you’ve probably heard by now, a letter from Mel’s co-writer of The Maccabees was leaked after the project went belly-up, and it does not paint a pretty picture. Mel is depicted as a hateful lunatic, referring to characters in the script with Jewish slurs, discussing a delusional plan to have his ex-girlfriend killed, and even threatening sexual crimes against her in front of the writer’s son. A recorded rant backing up some of these claims didn’t help matters for Mel. So, like every time Mel makes news, I have to ask: is this it? The final nail in the coffin?

This is Hollywood, and they love a comeback story, so there’s always a chance for redemption. Here, in no particular order, are some ways in which Mel could still make that (less and less likely) comeback.

-Reveal that the real Mel Gibson has been living on an island for 6 years, what we’ve witnessed is Sacha Baron Cohen’s tour-de-force performance for his best prank film yet.

-Lethal Weapon 5: We Thought We Were Too Old For This S#$! Before

-Punch Lindsay Lohan’s dad, just because

-Use part of his massive Passion of the Christ fortune to personally fund a 4th season of Community

-Crash Courtney Stodden’s 18th birthday party and stand next to her, look infinitely more likable by comparison

-Agree to a 3 year commitment to a Broadway production of Mad Max Beyond Thunderdome, from the director of Spider-Man: Turn Off The Dark

-Play a slightly fictionalized version of himself as the Nazi villain in the next Captain America movie

-Explain himself and his actions in an in-depth interview on The Wendy Williams Show

Chevy Chase Vs. Community Creator Dan Harmon

Posted by BRADY in Community, celebrity gossip

April 6th, 2012, 09:40 AM

Well folks, it was only a matter of time. Honestly I can’t believe they’ve almost made it 3 whole seasons into Community without a fist fight between these two. But its finally happened: Chevy Chase has once again let his big mouth and bad temper get in the way of his career, and Dan Harmon (the creator and head writer of Community) has once again let his big mouth and bad temper get in the way of his own creative success. These two are kind of known for these traits, so as I said, it was only a matter of time before these two on the same set ended ugly.

If you haven’t heard, these two aren’t exactly chums these days, despite the good news swirling in the world of Community. After a mid-season hiatus the show is finally back on the air, it scored higher ratings than any other Thursday night comedy upon its return, its been picked up for syndication by Comedy Central (something unprecedented for a show not even done with 3 seasons), and even the normally pessimistic Dan Harmon has said everything is looking good for the show being picked up for a 4th season. Great news! As I’ve said here many times, Community is the most original and creative sitcom on network TV, willing to take risks no others will, and its also really damn funny. None of this is very exciting to Chevy, apparently, who just gave an interview where he acted very disinterested in the show, claiming he didn’t find it particularly funny, knew he could improvise funnier stuff than what the script included, hated sitcoms in general, hated his character and didn’t think he would be around much longer. Well, he must be a joy to be around on set…

Then everything really blew up when Dan Harmon, in front of a crowd of 150, played an angry, profanity-laced voicemail he had received from Chevy. Apparently Chevy had stormed off the set near the end of season 3 because he didn’t like a scene, leading to Dan Harmon performing an impromptu roast of Chevy at the season 3 wrap party, encouraging the entire cast and crew to yell “F*** you, Chevy!” at a table where Chase sat with his wife and daughter. Yeah, probably not a good move. Chase left the message, Harmon played it, and because we live in the world of today it was quickly online for millions to hear. Having his private rant exposed to the world probably isn’t going to encourage the already ambivalent Chase to stay on board…

As I said this was inevitable. Dan Harmon is fantastically creative and hilarious, but his peers and even he will admit he can be childish, vindictive, bitter, stubborn, and angry. He was famously fired from running The Sarah Silverman Program after only a few episodes because he would not stop fighting about the direction of the show from day one with Silverman, who, you know, had her name in the title. She’s said Dan is amazing but that there was only room for one crazy control freak on the show and it had to be her. Chase, of course, has a long and storied history of being a jerk, starting back in his days on SNL. I mean this is a guy who Bill Murray, his Caddyshack co-star, punched backstage. You have to be a real jerk to get hit by someone as awesome as Bill Murray. Even Johnny Carson, one of the nicest men in Hollywood, bashed Chase on occasion. And the streak has continued up to Community, where cast members seem to eagerly change the subject when Chevy comes up, simply saying “Chevy is Chevy,” or at times admitting his reputation is very well earned.

So, will Community be one cast member short if it returns? Or will the two make nice after all this? And most importantly, when will Chevy Chase remember that Dan Harmon saved his career?

Jon Hamm Vs. Kim Kardashian

Posted by BRADY in Keeping Up With the Kardashians, Mad Men, celebrity gossip

March 19th, 2012, 03:21 PM

In what might be the best possible metaphor for the current state of American television, right now there is a bitter feud between Jon Hamm and Kim Kardashian. One stars as one of the most complex lead characters ever in the most critically acclaimed show on television. The other, in the immortal words of Joel McHale on The Soup, is “famous for having a big @$$ and a sex tape.”

It all started when Jon Hamm, in promotion of the new season of Mad Men (which finally returns this Sunday! Yay!), commented on reality TV in an interview, saying: “Whether it’s Paris Hilton or Kim Kardashian or whoever, stupidity is certainly celebrated. Being a f***ing idiot is a valuable commodity in this culture because you’re rewarded significantly. It’s celebrated. It doesn’t make sense to me.” Well, can’t say there’s anything wrong with that statement. Plus, from the perspective of a guy who has been working his tail off in Hollywood for decades and is finally getting his big break, you can see why someone getting money and fame thrown at them just because they already are rich is a bit insane. Kim was quick to comment back, saying she thought it was “careless” for Hamm to call someone who stars in a television show and runs a company an idiot. Yeah, I’m sure you’re doing all the number-crunching at that company of yours. Don’t you just sign a contract saying they can paste your name and face on any product that will pay you enough? Tough stuff.

Hamm, who seems sick of discussing the controversy, still refuses to back down in any way, saying the comments were “accurate” and that he stands by them. The saddest part of it all? The highest rated episode of Mad Men ever got 2.9 million viewers. A typical season finale of Keeping Up with the Kardashians gets 4.8 million viewers, and Kim’s “Fairytale” Wedding Special (it must have been one of those dark Grimm Brothers’ fairy tales based on how it ended) supposedly got 10.5 million viewers over its 2 nights. Well, there’s all the evidence for Hamm’s comments that we need.

Bieber’s Baby Battle Begins!

Posted by BRADY in celebrity gossip

November 7th, 2011, 04:18 PM

Someone get these two a reality show, pronto!

In the immortal words of Justin Bieber: “Oh baby, baby, oh baby.”

Somehow I think those lyrics have taken on a whole new meaning for poor little Justin. The little guy has just been served with his first paternity suit! Awwww! That’s up there with first all night coke binge and first fist fight with a drummer. He’s turned into a real budding rock star! But is it real?

As I’m sure you’ve read by now, some nutso 20 year old girl named Mariah Yeater has filed a paternity suit against Justin Bieber, claiming he impregnated her in a bathroom after a concert, leading to the three month bundle of joy she’ll be trotting out for courts, tabloids, TV shows and anywhere else she can earn a buck or potential reality TV contract. Although Bieber is completely denying the allegations, claiming he has never met Yeater and volunteering to take the DNA test, Yeater is still claiming that she has some sort of “substantial evidence” that proves Bieber is the one and only baby daddy. But apparently he’s not the first…

Now Yeater’s ex boyfriend has stepped forward, claiming that she first came to him with news that the baby was his, trying to force him to take financial responsibility for it. Though at first he bought it, it took his grandma to point out that the math of how far along she was and when they had been together just didn’t match up, with her already fairly pregnant when she sprung the news on him only a week after returning to town after months. He has stated that he’s positive Bieber is not the father and that Yeater is just after a much more significant cans grab from him. Although he’s probably right, the fact that he’s already knocked up his new girlfriend after ending things with Yeater and that it took his grandma to explain how babies work doesn’t lend him a whole lot of credibility in the matter.

So is the baby Bieber’s? Probably not. Yeater seems like a nut out for some easy money, either hoping this would somehow connect her with Justin or simply that he’s been doing the nasty with enough backstage betties behind Selena Gomez’s back that he would pay her off out of fear it might be true. But still, if that DNA test came positive how quickly Bieber’s image would change…

Kris Kouldn’t Keep Up With the Krazy Kardashians

Posted by BRADY in Keeping Up With the Kardashians, celebrity gossip

October 31st, 2011, 04:17 PM

It’s true folks. It’s the end of an era. A 72 day era. Our own royal couple, Kim Kardashian and Kris Humphries, are getting a divorce. Oh cruel world…if those two multi-millionaires can’t make it work with cameras filming their every move, how are we supposed to?? Is there hope for love???

Though, let’s be honest, this isn’t much of a surprise. We all saw this divorce coming, I just really thought they would last half a year, or at least until the Kardashian ratings took a dive. But nope, Kim is back on the market! Kris and her haven’t really been seen together much lately, and he reportedly hated being on camera all the time, so I guess a divorce was a preemptive strike before one of them gets caught cheating on the other on camera and it becomes a whole Kutcher level disaster. I swear, they call it “reality TV,” but relationships last longer on soap operas, and they tend to at least have evil twins to make things more interesting. Kim just has two annoying regular sisters.

Now rumors are coming out that Kris was essentially recruited to be Kim’s fiancee after another pro athlete passed on the opportunity. What it sounds like to me is the Kardashian Klan and E! wanted a big royal wedding of their own, and Kim was the only option. Nobody likes Kourtney’s creepy baby daddy, and nobody cares about Khloe, so Kim it was! Once they cast Kris as her fiancee and got the big ratings spike form the wedding, Kim and E! both realized domestic married life makes it a lot easier to “keep up” with Kim. See ya Kris! We need a rotating cast of fit guys to date Kim and crank up the drama.

The big question: will we get a divorce proceedings special? I hope Ryan Seacrest hosts it!

Carrey’s Creepy Crush Confession

Posted by BRADY in celebrity gossip

August 26th, 2011, 02:24 PM

For seemingly no reason at all, yesterday Jim Carrey filmed himself confessing his undying love and affection for 22 year old actress Emma Stone. He acknowledges he is far too old for her (sorry Jim, doesn’t cut down on the creep factor to point out that you know you’re being creepy) but then goes on to describe the chubby freckled babies they would have together as well as some mentions of their…intimate times in this alternate universe he has constructed in his head. This is definitely not wacky Jim Carrey from Bruce Almighty, this is full on creepy Jim Carrey from The Number 23. Except, unlike that movie, this video is actually entertaining

The amazing part of this video is how much of the entertainment news world is reporting on it like it’s real, saying Jim shows “no sign of sarcasm” and acts “extremely creepy.” Yeah, acts! He’s an actor! I know he’s been in a few dramas in recent years, and most of his comedies these days aren’t actually funny, but let’s not forget that Jim Carrey is a comedian! He makes people laugh! And if you ask me this video is one of the funniest things he’s done in recent years. It’s bizarre, unexpected, and he totally commits to the bit all the way through. Plus it’s not some viral video designed to promote the Mr. Popper’s Penguins DVD release or something. It’s just him doing something dumb and acting like a weird idiot because he thinks it’s funny. That’s what the internet is for!

And to be fair, who doesn’t love Emma Stone?! She’s amazingly talented, funny, pretty and for the most part she actually chooses to be in good movies. The entire internet should be full of people confessing their love to her!

Ryan Gosling: Street Fighter

Posted by BRADY in Gossip Girl, celebrity gossip

August 23rd, 2011, 10:08 AM

Yeah, this is a strange one. As you can see in the video above, a fight broke out in the streets of New York City and someone caught it on video. No shocks there, New York is known as a place where people give the middle finger to say thank you and will shove a toddler down a storm drain if they’re slowing down the sidewalk, so a scuffle in the streets isn’t anything to get too exited about. But then I heard that this was an art fight. Yes, two men were brawling in the middle of a busy Manhattan street over a painting. Although they may have been arguing over who the painting belonged to or something mundane like that, I choose to believe that the gentleman carrying the painting overheard the other say he thought the brush stroke technique used on the piece was pedestrian at best and that the composition was clearly redundant of late period Manet, and then just started swinging. So art fight in the middle of the street. Weird.

And then who pops up to break the fight up? Ryan Gosling! Movie star extraordinaire, great actor, undeniably good looking and charming Ryan Gosling! In a tank top! I’ve always said any movie with Ryan Gosling in it has to at least be decent because of him, and now a shaky cell phone video of a street fight proves it!

Kardasians…in 3D!

Posted by BRADY in Keeping Up With the Kardashians

August 1st, 2011, 04:52 PM

It’s a match made in Heaven. As much as we love the Kardashians around here, you gotta admit they are kind of empty celebrities, made constantly more rich and famous just because they are rich and famous. They don’t have any discernible talent to bring to the table, and their only real goal in life simple seem to be “keep being a Kardashian.” They’re on our TV every hour and on the covers of every major magazine, so we watch them and read about them because they’re there. Trust me, I might be yelling at the TV while I do it but I’m just as guilty. 3D, meanwhile, is another new Hollywood phenomenon that we have grown to accept just because it’s there. With the rare exception, 3D adds nothing to any experience other than to make it more expensive. Yet we continue to pay those extra dollars and put on those dumb glasses because that’s what’s playing.

It’s like the Kardashians were made to be in 3D! Which is why it’s so perfect that Kim Kardashian will be the first 3D magazine cover girl for the new magazine World’s Most Beautiful, which is being shot entirely in 3D. The photo shoot features Kim in high fashion get-ups posing in an abandoned desert town. You’d think they would go for something a bit more eye-popping than abandoned old shacks to be part of the first 3D magazine spread, but I guess they are just going for a more subtle 3D. You know, so you might actually believe for a moment that a tiny Kim Kardashian is popping off the page and hanging out in front of you. The conversation will probably be just as stimulating as if she was really in the room. The important question on all pervert’s minds: will Kim’s famous booty be getting the 3D treatment?

Though this is just a magazine photo shoot, could there be more 3D in the Kardashian’s future? I sure hope so! Bring on a Keeping Up With the Kardashians 3D special! It would have all the thrills and chills of a normal 3D blockbuster! Imagine the thrills of seeing the Kardashian girls go shopping or clubbing or some other inconsequential task in all 3 dimensions! Imagine the chills running up your spine from seeing Bruce Jenner’s skeleton-like face in 3D! Seriously E!, get on this 3D special. Lord knows their 2D personalities could use the help.

Hey, Remember Charlie Sheen?

Posted by BRADY in Two and a Half Men, celebrity gossip

June 27th, 2011, 04:03 PM

Oh Charlie. Remember when the entire world hung on your every word? When we gathered around our computers to hear your U-Stream rants as though they were Roosevelt’s Fireside Chats? When your catchphrases adorned t-shirts and Facebook statues across the internet? When the media circus you created was the lead story on every entertainment show in the world? TMZ must have had a team of full-time Charlie watchers. But no more. The glory days have come and gone. The reign of Charlie is officially over.

For while there Charlie Sheen seemed to have the world in front of him, with reported TV show and movie offers and the option to go back to his multi-million dollar stint on Two and a Half Men? But no more, Ashton Kutcher has taken up that mantle and will be acting as the new charming, labido-driven guy on Two and a Half Men. Charlie took his rapid following as a chance to tour the country, triumphantly greeting his adoring fans in each city. But no more, his bizarre, rambling, unfunny stage-show has limped to an end after horrible reviews and grossly under-performing ticket sales. At one point he had multiple porn star “goddesses” living in his mansion. But no more, one of them ditched him for a new boyfriend only days after his live show started tanking, and the last has finally ditched him this week now that it was clear Charlie’s time in the spotlight was over.

With no professional opportunities apparently being offered to him, and a cultural image that has gone from deranged folk hero to cliched punchline who everyone is sick of, it seems that Charlie is out of luck for now. The Sheen kingdom is crumbling. The supply of Tiger Blood is running dry. Is it time to change the slogan to “Losing!”?

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