August 5th, 2011, 04:38 PM
Did you check the expiration date? I think this Jam has gone bad.
In case you’re not someone into cool indie music, I’m gonna let you in on a little underground performer that is just full of raw talent. Her name is Kim Kardashian and in March she released a single called Jam, which is about…having fun or something? Don’t worry, you’ll hear all about it during Grammy season when it sweeps the awards. It’s an infinitely hummable tune (like the hum of a swarm of killer bees repeatedly stinging your eardrums) which I assume is dominating in dance clubs across the country, because this thing just makes you want to move. I mean I heard it while driving and I almost jumped out of my moving car! As I mentioned the song is called “Jam,” which is actually a shortened version of the working title “Jam (Cotton balls Into My Ears Oh God I Can Still Kind of Hear a Muffled Version Through the Cotton Make it Stop)”.
But did you know that making incredibly horrible awesome and meaningless soul-searching music is in the Kardashian blood? That’s right, Mama Kardashian (aka Kris Jenner) released her own song in the 80s that puts Kim’s to shame. Seriously, it is amazing. Watch it. It’s a song called “I Love My Friends,” and it is about the fact that she loves her friends. She names places they eat at, places they shop at, and even things they do together! Watch out Bob Dylan, Kris Jenner is out to make your lyrics look contrived and juvenile. Cheesecake Factory! Baby showers! My favorite part of the exceptionally well made video is when Kris is inexplicably singing in her workout room (in mega-80s workout gear) and we can see the cameraman in the mirror. Quality!
Check out the video below! I’m telling you, it is so worth it.