Today’s topic: Singer Rihanna’s lovelife. This is a very important topic, post-Chris Brown drama, as I think everyone would like to see the songstress happy.
Garnering over 50% of the vote, the show’s pilot performance swept the poll! Though the song’s been covered and karaoke’d to the point of irony since it was first released by Journey in 1981, it’s easy to see why it hasn’t lost popularity. Amazing working class lyrics, catchy-as-hell keyboard intro, and one of the most fist-pumpiest choruses of all time. And I think the gang at Glee have done an AMAZING job covering it. I have to admit, that song sorta gives me chills.
Week after week, it’s Glee fever! The show has quickly become a cultural phenomenon across the States, with seven songs from the series in the top 200 of iTunes’ Top Songs chart, over two million Glee songs purchased online, and the cast’s rendition of Journey’s “Don’t Stop Believin’” gone certified Gold [Source].
Obviously, we need to start Glee-ing up this here blog. Let’s start with a poll…
That’s The Hills’s Stephanie Pratt as we know her on the left, and The Hills’s Stephanie Pratt at last night’s 2009 MTV Video Music Awards on the right. Babe got some serious work done, clearly.
She kinda looks like white Beyonce, but in the worst way possible (Love ya, B!). That new nose is pretty bangin’, but what is the meaning of that plumped-up pout? Looks like a beesting.
Well, color the Oscars predictable - “Slumdog Millionaire“ won almost everything! Still, there were definitely some highlights and hot messes - and I’m not talking the gowns:
Best Cut-to Reactions - Danny Boyle. The Slumdog director was soooo ecstatic all night that I was waiting for his smile to grow legs, jump off of his face and dance the mambo with Hugh Jackman on-stage. (It must help when your film steamrolls the competition, too).
Best Cut-to Reactions Runner-up - Anne Hathaway. Possibly the belle of the ball. Props for her “impromptu” “Frost/Nixon” duet with Hugh Jackman, and you could tell she was just stoked to be there! Plus who else would be so genuinely moved by Shirley MacLaine that they’re reduced to a trembling weepball? Scalawag fiancés are sooo last year - take a load off, Annie! Go on with your bad self!
Best “And the nominees are…” format - I kudo whoever came up with having 5 past winners give a heart-to-heart ode to each nominee in their category - can we do this every year? It takes longer, but it’s so sentimental and really celebrates each nominee’s work.
PLUS, it lets distinguished past winners dust themselves off (or in the case of Goldie Hawn, inject/implant themselves with something) and have a moment in the spotlight again. It was like a lifetime achievement award being given out 20 times and I dug it.
Worst “And the nominees are…” format - Was I the only one SUPER distracted by the clip of Kung Fu Panda eating a dumpling that looped in the background as they waxed poetic on the nominees?
Good Joke, Wrong Setting - Whoopi Goldberg’s “It’s hard being a nun…” quip to Amy Adams got easy laughs (Whoopi was in “Sister Act” and Amy Adams plays a nun in “Doubt” - lolzz!), but then it became more about the Whoopster (who was wearing shades and swathes of leopard print) than paying tribute to Ms. Adams’ performance. *sad trombone*
What is this Awards Show Missing? Ah yes, Tina Fey - Bless it all, T. Fey and Steve Martin livened up the show for a few minutes with their zingy delivery for the Best Screenplay categories. Points for bold jabs at Scientology in front of THAT audience. Fey: “Steve, no one wants to hear about our religion that we made up.” They got balls for days.
Most orchestrated “aaaaawk-waaard” moment - No, not Ben Stiller’s loopy Joaquin Phoenix impression. I’m talking about Academy producers luring poor Jennifer Aniston on-stage to deliver lame, choppy jokes with Jack Black for Best Animation - right in front of Brangelina. She was a good sport, but I doubt Jen imagined her “I’m so much better off without you, William Bradley Pitt!” moment would involve straining for laughs in front of an A-list crowd whilst wearing a blah dress + forehead-braid and toting John Mayer around. Sheesh, someone give this girl some good karma.
Best “Thank You” - Short Animated Picture winner Kunio Kato (for “La Maison en Petits Cubes“), the Japanese native who was good humored about his shaky English: “Thank you, all my staff. Thank you, academy…Thank you, my company. Domo arigato, Mr. Roboto.” Domo, domo to you, Kato-san!
Jane, Get Me Off This Crazy Thing - What was up with Sarah Jessica Parker and Daniel Craig’s segment for Art Direction, Costume and Makeup? The loud tink-tonking piano music drowned SJP out, and that wonky camera work! Was it really necessary for the camera to pan in and out, left and right around a stationary television screen that was showing nominees? You could barely read the nominees and titles. Same criticism for the In Memorium camera work. Zig zagging cameras - making me nauseous.
Hot Mess of the Night - THAT MUSICAL NUMBER! That is NO way to pay tribute to musical films. Jackman did his best but despite “spicing it up” with cameos by Beyonce (all thighs and lipsynching), Amanda Seyfried, Dominic Cooper, Zac Efron and Vanessa Hudgens, it was a disaster! I felt like I was in a broken bumper car being pummeled herky-jerky-like from every direction by songs that had no natural correlation to the ones preceding them…and sung in 6 different keys.
Baz Luhrmann was behind that monstrosity? He looked embarrassed, and if I’m wrong then he needsto be embarrassed.
Most Uncomfortable Smile - Wool-capped Philip Seymour Hoffman’s grimace, annoyed shrug and careful grin after Alan Arkin called him “Seymour Philip Hoffman.”
Verklempt! - I thought I was over Heath Ledger until his family accepted on his behalf and the camera cut to the teary eyes of Anne Hathaway, Kate Winslet, Adrian Brody and Brangelina. RIP Heath.
Most Like Your Crazy Uncle at Xmas - Philippe Petit of “Man on Wire” did a magic coin trick AND balanced an Oscar statuette on his chin. Oui, oui! Mon dieu!
Remember When She was a Rapper? - Queen Latifah did a lovely job of singing “I’ll Be Seeing You” over the In Memorium segment. But again, did they need the cameras to zoom in and out of the screen making half of the names unreadable? No, they didn’t. Case closed.
Biting My Tongue About - …Sophia Loren… a legend. World…loves her… Don’t… Say… Anything… About… Her.. Appearance.. Baaah!
Winslet, no longer a bridesmaid - Finally! Kate Winslet wins an Oscar! Heart her, heart Marion Cotillard’s gushing praise of her work, heart Kate’s always-flustered acceptance speeches this whole season.
Take Hat-wearing Notes, Philip Seymour Hoffman - From Mr. Winslet. Kate Winslet’s acceptance speech was made so much more adorable when she searched the crowd for her parents and was answered by the piercing whistle of Papa Winslet, who was donning a very jaunty black hat. Suck it, Hoffman! That’s how Papa Dubs rolls!
Best Line to Silence My Anti-Sean Penn Rants - Maybe winning helped, but Sean finally loosened up, had a sense of humor and then confronted us/me with what we’d all been thinking, “I do know how hard I make it to appreciate me.” To which I answered, “You’d better! Cuz, Sean, you’re just sooo…UGH! Yeah– well y’know! It’s just…argh…! Fine - congrats.”
Not Surprising But Nice Anyway - “Slumdog Millionaire“ wins Best Picture, the whole crew flooded on stage and the cast carried the adorably excited child actors - it was a joyfest.
Watch highlights here:
And a full list of winners:
Best Picture: Slumdog Millionaire The Curious Case of Benjamin Button Frost/Nixon Milk The Reader
Best Director: Danny Boyle for Slumdog Millionaire Stephen Daldry for The Reader David Fincher for The Curious Case of Benjamin Button Ron Howard for Frost/Nixon Gus Van Sant for Milk
Best Actor: Sean Penn in Milk Richard Jenkins in The Visitor Frank Langella in Frost/Nixon Brad Pitt in The Curious Case of Benjamin Button Mickey Rourke in The Wrestler
Best Actress: Kate Winslet in The Reader Anne Hathaway in Rachel Getting Married
Angelina Jolie in Changeling
Melissa Leo in Frozen River
Meryl Streep in Doubt
Best Supporting Actor: Heath Ledger in The Dark Knight Josh Brolin in Milk Robert Downey, Jr. in Tropic Thunder Philip Seymour Hoffman in Doubt Michael Shannon in Revolutionary Road
Best Supporting Actress: Penelope Cruz in Vicky Cristina Barcelona Amy Adams in Doubt Viola Davis in Doubt Taraji P. Henson in The Curious Case of Benjamin Button Marisa Tomei in The Wrestler
Best Original Screenplay
Dustin Lance Black for Milk Courtney Hunt for Frozen River
Mike Leigh for Happy-Go-Lucky
Martin McDonagh for In Bruges
Andrew Stanton, Jim Reardon and Pete Doctor for Wall-E
Best Adapted Screenplay
Simon Beaufoy for Slumdog Millionaire Eric Roth and Robin Swicord for The Curious Case of Benjamin Button John Patrick Shanley for Doubt Peter Morgan for Frost/Nixon David Hare for The Reader
Alexandre Desplat for The Curious Case of Benjmain Button James Newton Howard for Defiance Danny Elfman for Milk Thomas Newman for Wall-E
Best Original Song
“Jai Ho,” AR Rahman and Gulzar for Slumdog Millionaire “Down to Earth,” Peter Gabriel and Thomas Newman for Wall-E “O Saya,” AR Rahman and Maya Arulpragasam for Slumdog Millionaire
KAT NOTE: Time for more Sanji, people! Gather ’round…
Wow, people are actually talking about Saturday Night Live… and Tina Fey wasn’t even on last Saturday’s episode!
Paul Rudd’s hotness was all over SNL like melty buttah on my morning toast. Sasha Fierce was the musical act, and for those of you not in the know, that’s Beyonce’s stage alter-ego. FYI, my alter-ego is Taco Tequila. she can usually be found getting into trouble somewhere on the East Side between the hours of 9 p.m. and 4 a.m.
So blah blah chuckle-worthy ED commercial, har har Andy Samberg digital short, sad sad Amy Poehler-less Weekend Update… and then out of nowhere, here comes Justin Timberlake! Pretty Pants Timberlake saved the day when he tucked himself into a leotard and did a little hippy hippy shake as Beyonce’s back-up dancer. It was so funny I almost had jug wine coming out of my nose!
But you’re probably thinking “Sanji, you? Home? On a Saturday night?” Psssht, naw. Taco Tequila was out while Sanji indulged in some SNL and Carlo Rossi.
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