THIS JUST IN: Somebody got a Bea Arthur tattoo!

We here at Square Eyes HQ are devoted to giving you the latest breaking Golden Girls news, especially when someone gets inked with an image of the fantastic foursome. This particular forearm/Bea homage belongs to comedian Eliot Glazer, who tweeted the image of his new tat yesterday morning.

Well played, Glazer!  Though I must say, I’m still partial to the “Stay Golden” laptop.

Post-script: It was revealed recently that Bea Arthur left $300,000 in her will to the Ali Forney Center in New York, which houses homeless LGBT kids.  They were able to build another property wtih her generous donation.  Truly a lady worthy of being homage’d.

[Source: BWE]

The folks over at Pophangover?  Kindred spirits!  Take a look at this amazing Golden Girls-inspired Twitter feed they’ve slapped together:

Chortle!  I could read these all day!  I wish Dorothy would @reply Sophia with a straight-up “Maaaa!” on that most recent tweet (made from the lanai, mind you!).  I’d RT that.

But…. no cheesecake?

[Source: Pophangover]

Those kooky kids over at College Humor have put together a fantastic list of television characters we never see - meaning those TV folks who are constantly referenced but never appear, or show up now and then with their face obscured or back turned.  Of the 12 listed, my 3 favorites:

Tino from My So-Called Life

Probably the coolest non-character that never existed.  Whether fronting Jordan Catalano’s band Frozen Embryos (or Residue or whatever) or cutting class, everybody at Liberty High knew Tino.  Him and Rayanne likely ended up together and fought their alcoholism side-by-side.  I always pictured him as a really big, burly Hispanic guy.  What kind of name is Tino anyway?  Hmm, possibly Italian. Perhaps I’ll revise my vision.

Nanny from Muppet Babies

This elderly babe had a full on MENAGERIE to deal with.  We’re talkin’ Kermit, Gonzo, Miss Piggy, THE WORKS!  A brave woman, all us viewers at home ever saw of Nanny was a pair of green striped socks.  We can only assume she looked like a wacky Bea Arthur, cuz from the size of those purple high tops and the the sound of that deep voice, she must’ve been a large woman.  What do you think?

Wilson from Home Improvement

I never was much of a Home Improvement fan, but I did get a kick out of Wilson’s obscured face during fence-side chats with Tim the Toolman Taylor.  It was like middle America’s take on Catholic confession, you know?  Very charming.  Though I did later go on to find out what actor Earl Hindman actually looks like, I still to this day picture Wilson as Max Wright, the dad from ALF.  He was definitely wise looking.

Is the College Humor list missing any notable faceless characters?  I sure can’t think of any.

As you all probably know, all of us here at Square Eyes HQ have been mourning Bea Arthur like nobody’s business.  It’s been heartwarming to watch all the Bea tributes rolling in all over the Internets, but it also serves to bum this lady out a bit.  Ms. Bea will truly be missed.

But let the tributes continue, I say!  I thought I’d take this opportunity to share an awesome Bea moment, one that falls after both Maude and Golden Girls on the Bea timeline.

I’m talking about the Sex and the City parody, starring Bea Arthur as Carrie!  Take a look at these classic broads:

Genius, no?  You may recognize Sally Struthers as Samantha, Charlotte Rae (Mrs. Garrett from Facts of Life!) as Charlotte, and Katherine Helmond (Mona from Who’s the Boss?!) as Miranda.  Two kudos to Katherine Helmond for taking the tougher route and being typecast as a redhead rather than a slut.

Heck, why not throw in one more!  Here’s Bea on The Golden Girls in her signature role as Dorothy Zbornak, with the amazing Estelle Getty (RIP as well!) as Sopha “Ma” Petrillo, singing “I Got You Babe”:

So good!  Like Erin, I haven’t been cast as a Dorothy in the online quizzes (I’m a Blanche, okay? You don’t get Dorothy looking THIS good), but I’ve always been envious of that razor sharp wit and impeccable comedic timing.

Sigh.  I’ve gotta stop right there, all this nostalgia has got me doing one of these:

We love you, Bea!

Kat and I are proud Golden Girls fans - we can muse and laugh about those four sassy senior ladies for hours and a day. You can guess that we were already depressed as hell when Estelle “Sophia Petrillo” Getty passed away last July, so today’s news of Bea “Dorothy Zbornak” Arthur leaving us at age 86 has resulted in countless frowny-faced smileys

My friends and numerous online quizzes tell me that I have a ‘Sophia’ personality, but I’ve always wished I were more like Dorothy Zbornak; IMO, the raddest of all the Golden Girls and a character brought to full-flavored, brassy dameness by the comedic talents of Bea Arthur. With those throaty zingers and that leveling, dead-pan stare, she could always crack me up something awful.

Bea Arthur, you will be sorely missed, but we’re grateful that your work lives on in those wonderful Lifetime marathons of the Golden Girls reruns.

Say hi to your Ma for us, Pussycat. And R.I.P.

I heart the Internets so much when I discover things like these rad lil dolls by Kezzaroo. How else would I find out that someone has so artfully fashioned wee felt replicas of beloved TV characters? She had me at the mini Ron Burgundy (Anchorman), but looksie at some of Kezzaroo’s other inspired creations:

Baywatch
Lifeguard Mitch Buchannon (played by David Hasselhoff)

This tiny guy is so adorable that all I want to do is “hassel the Hoff“! I sort of miss the gnarls of chest hairs, but I suppose the beauty is in its simplicity.

The A-Team
B. A. Baracus (played by Mr. T)

Look out, T! There’s another you behind… you…! His famous T-hawk is perfectly captured, and I pity the fool who doesn’t give an inner-squeal over the rock star gold chainlets.

Flight of the Conchords
Bret McKenzie and Jemaine Clement (as themselves)

Check out the detailed threads (pun intended) on these doppelgängers for New Zealand’s fourth most popular guitar-based, digi-bongo, a capella-rap-funk-comedy, folk duo!

Magnum, P.I.
Thomas Magnum (played by Tom Selleck)

I love the ’stache! All that’s missing is a flowery, Hawaiian shirt to really differentiate this teeny man from, say, Ron Jeremy. Actually, scratch that - a floral shirt pattern will guarantee that they’ll still look alike.

The Golden Girls

(top, clockwise) Dorothy Zbornak, Blanche Devereaux, Sophia Petrillo and Rose Nylund
(played by Bea Arthur, Rue McClanahan, Estelle Getty and Betty White)

We here at Square Eyes love us some Golden Girls in any shape or form and this is no exception! My only concern is how these sassy ladies can possibly wisecrack and eat cheesecake without mouths…

Dog the Bounty Hunter
Duane “Dog” Chapman (as himself)

I love this badass little felt-man 1000 times more than his real-life counterpart, brah!

Be sure to check out Kezzaroo’s Etsy shop to see (or purchase!) more charming felt works and crafts!

Lord knows I love me some Golden Girls. Well, imagine my surprise when I stumbled upon a blurb about a 2007 Hollywood art exhibition dedicated to portrayals of The Golden Girls…Gone Wild. Naturally, I can really appreciate the campy tributes to my favorite senior quartet.

But then I saw the racier depictions of Dorothy, Rose, Blanche and Sophia…and I found myself somewhere between bemusement and horror. DAME Magazine describes some of the edgier works best - PICTURE IT:

[Estelle] Getty in the raw, legs spread, reclining on a massive hot dog. An exquisite portrait of a grinning, dimpled [Betty] White, immaculate in quasi Nazi, body-hugging S&M garb. [Bea] Arthur reborn as Medusa. A series of advert-style paintings of each Girl proffering a soda can bearing the label “Estrogen.” [Rue] McClanahan with a lopsided grin, splayed out in a Confederate flag bikini.

Oh yeah, not to mention this number:

BAM!

*chokes on cheesecake* TMI!

Some of the other “pieces” can be seen at DAME Magazine and LAist’s sites, but WARNING: some photos are NSFW (particularly at LAist). We’re talking straight nudie pics of our beloved Golden Girls. Hi-ohhh!

Put on your bifocals and view at your own risk…