All of these people are awesome and deserve Emmys. That is all.

It’s Emmy Season! With the nominees officially announced, and months to go until the actual broadcast, there’s only one thing for TV bloggers to do: speculate and complain! But first let’s kick things off with what makes me happy.

The Good

Mad Men got 17 nominations, including one for Jared Harris (aka the mopey, bespectacled Brit Lane Pryce) for best supporting actor! Of course he should still lose to the brilliant Peter Dinklange from Game of Thrones, but I’m still glad to see his stellar work get some recognition. Louis CK, and his amazing show Louie, also got a ton of nominations! Yay good comedy! Speaking of, the comedy series they chose this year are mostly spot on, without any of those pesky pay cable “dramadies” poking their nose in and bumping out shows that actually have way more, you know, comedy. And finally, Margaret Cho was nominated as a guest star for her hilarious performance as Kim Jong-il on 30 Rock. If you saw any of those episodes, you’ll understand why it’s ok to root for Kim Jong-il.

The Bad

Sure, Amy Poehler got her much deserved best comedy actress nomination, but no love for the rest of Parks and Recreation?! No nomination for Nick Offerman as Ron Swanson?! Come on Emmys, get it together. You’ve had 4 seasons. The man is a living TV icon. Nick Offerman should be awards best actor in a comedy and his mustache best supporting actor in a comedy. That’s how good he is. And although I praised the academy for recognizing Louis CK for his acting, writing, and directing… why wasn’t the show nominated for best comedy? So you guys love every important element of the show but not the show itself? What, was the lighting not Emmy worthy or something?

The Ugly

Betty White is nominated as best variety program host for her show Betty White’s Off their Rockers. I get it, America still can’t get enough of Betty White for whatever reason. But this means a show about old people pulling lame pranks on young people is officially nominated for an Emmy. I’m not the only one who finds that unacceptable, right?

Note to award show hosts: unless it’s the Tonys, stop with the musical numbers

I’ve had a real case of Emmy fever the past month, really looking forward to the big day to see which of my favorite shows were honored. I’ve found the best cure for that is actually watching the Emmys! Aside from a few chuckle-worthy moments, like Amy Poehler leading all the “best actress in a comedy” nominees in an impromptu pageant parody, it was kind of a snooze-fest. My thoughts below!

-Jane Lynch, as hilarious as an improvisational actress as she is, is far too nice to host one of these things. Was there a single joke about a celebrity? It’s the one time you have a captive audience of the biggest TV stars in the world, make some jokes about them! I guess Ricky Gervais’ Golden Globes gig has scared some hosts into behaving themselves.

-Modern Family is good, but it’s not that good. It’s a great cast and great writing, but maybe the Emmys should reward a show like Louie, which is re-defining what a half hour comedy can be, rather than just a group who know how to work the old formula very well. Or at least Parks and Recreation, simply because it’s so hilarious.

-No Emmy for Steve Carell? Seriously? Say what you will about the decline in quality of The Office over the past few seasons (trust me, I have) but there is no denying what Carell brought to the character of Michael Scott to make that one of the most successful sitcoms of the decade. Yet he never won a single Emmy?? After his poignant farewell episode this would have been a perfect time to reward his body of TV work before he heads off into the world of movies full time. Instead that annoying guy from Big Bang Theory won. Again. Boo.

-I didn’t know they gave out Emmys for movies, but they must because Melissa McCarthy won her Emmy for her awesome performance in Bridesmaids. Because there’s no way her role on Mike and Molly won her that trophy over the likes of Amy Poehler and Tina Fey.

-Peter Dinklage won an Emmy! He’s been a great actor for years and stole every scene he appeared in on this season of Game of Thrones, so I was very glad to see him win.

-Charlie Sheen must be running out of money and realizing he needs the TV industry much more than they need him. That’s the only explanation for his awkward well-wishes for Two and a Half Men, which elicited hesitant giggles from an audience waiting for a punchline that never came.

-Will Arnett and Amy Poehler are without question the greatest couple in Hollywood. They even made the horrible red carpet interviews hilarious!

The Emmy nominations have been revealed! You can check them all out here if you’re a big fan of lists. Sure there were the usual suspects (The Office, Tina Fey, Mad Men, Pawn Stars…wait, that last one might only be in my dreams) but this year’s lost actually has quite a few surprises! Including the most surprising snubs, of course. So let’s take a look at the good, the bad and the ugly of this year’s Emmy noms!

The Good

Parks and Recreation finally got nominated for best comedy series! About damn time if you ask me. Parks and Recreation has been by far the funniest sitcom to grace the small screen in the past few years, so I’m glad it’s finally getting the attention it deserves for such fantastic comedy writing and performances. Amy Poehler is also up for best comedic actress! Yay! I was also ecstatic to see that Louis C.K. from Louie got nominated for best actor in a comedy series, a category that rarely pays attention to cable channels like FX. Of course he should have been nominated in every single category for writing, directing, editing and starring in it, but baby steps I suppose.

Over in drama, Peter Dinklage got nominated as a supporting actor for Game of Thrones, which is completely awesome. Peter Dinklage is a very cool guy better known for his comedic roles in Elf and 30 Rock, but he also happens to be the best character on Game of Thrones, so it’s very nice to see him getting the respect he deserves. Also in drama there’s one familiar face missing: no 3 year in a row winner Bryan Cranston? Apparently Breaking Bad wasn’t on in the qualifying period, so no nominations this time around. He’s amazing on that show, but I simply put this in the “good” category because it gives someone else a chance in the category he’s had a lock on. Could it be Jon Hamm’s turn?

The Bad

Nick Offerman was somehow ignored for his always hilarious performance as Ron Swanson on Parks and Recreation. Listen, I love Modern Family too, but did all 4 of those guys really need nominations in the supporting actor category? And did the guys from The Big Bang Theory really deserve nominations? Are we awarding them for the way they pause and wait for the fake laughs to die down? Put Offerman in one of those categories! Ron Swanson isn’t just the best character on TV, he’s the best thing about TV. Period. As Amy Poehler said about Offerman’s Emmy snub: “It’s a hot load of bull**** that he didn’t get a nomination and you can quote me on that.” Will do!

The Ugly

Not a single nomination for Community?! Not the show? Not the writing? Not any of the brilliant cast-members? Not the directing? Are you serious?! Emmy voters, you people are watching TV wrong. That’s all I can say.

Seriously, no nomination?! Chevy disapproves.

James Franco and Anne Hathaway! Seriously, say what you will about Ricky Gervais being too mean while hosting the Golden Globes, but at least he told jokes. He got laughs. You know, like an awards show host is supposed to? Franco and Hathaway were like the anti-Gervais, looking to ruffle no feathers at all while in a room full of stars. The only swing they took at a celeb was Charlie Sheen, who isn’t a movie star and is also the easiest punchline in the world these days. Even their pre-taped opening, usually a sure-fire way for a host to get the audience on their side with laughs before their monologue, lacked any real humor. Oh look, it’s Anne Hathaway and James Franco super-imposed in some best picture nominees. Yawn. At least Alec Baldwin showed up to score a few laughs. That guy is just too charming! But the rest of the night’s level of humor was basically summed up when James Franco showed up on stage in a dress with no real purpose. Going for the guy in a dress gag? Seems a bit desperate. And I like James Franco!

The producers seemed to know they had made a bad hosting call and did whatever they could to keep Hathaway and Franco off the stage, making it even more awkward. They even had a whole “this is how a great Oscars host does it!” segment where 8 time host Billy Crystal came out to tell a few jokes and then launch into a long monologue about a time Bob Hope glanced at him. Then, weirdest of all, they had the ghost of Bob Hope show up and do some of his old jokes from when he hosted the Oscars in the black and white days. I don’t know what was worse, the fact that they had to summon up the ghost of a dead comedian to try and lend the evening some gravitas or that his jokes were edgier than anything Franco or Hathaway said all night. The funniest moment of the night probably goes to Melissa Leo, who used her Best Supporting Actress acceptance speech for her role in The Fighter to drop the first F-Bomb in Oscars History. Even her co-star Christian Bale seemed surprised, and that is a man who knows how to swear!

Come on, how can you not love this man?

Last Friday on Square Eyes, in anticipation of the Golden Globes, I posted a video of The Office and Extras star Ricky Gervais on Ellen discussing his role as host of the Golden Globes for the second year in a row. In that interview he commented that getting asked back meant he had somehow messed up his goal to push the envelope as host, and this time he would be sure to say some things that would never get him offered the hosting gig again. Well, Ricky: mission accomplished!

No subject seemed off-limits for Gervais, who quickly went to town with slightly mean (but pretty darn funny) jokes about Charlie Sheen, Angelina Jolie, Johnny Depp, and more. He even boldly went after the sue-happy scientologists with a joke implying that two of their most famous members, John Travolta and Tom Cruise, were secretly gay (a long-standing Hollywood rumor). However, the target that seems to have really gotten him in trouble was Philip Berk, the current head of the Hollywood Foreign Press Association. Let’s be honest, the speeches those duds give is the very reason why DVRs exist, but I guess he still took it personally when Gervais made mention of the dreadful boredom people feel in that section of the show. Not to mention the joke about helping Berk off the toilet and putting his fake teeth in. Come on Ricky, you played David Brent (aka British Michael Scott) for years on The Office. You should know jokes about the boss never fly.

Berk wasn’t the only one upset, with pretty much the entire audience turning on Gervais and even booing him at points. Hollywood stars with bruised egos, now there’s a shocker! Several presenters even took the time to criticize Gervais’ tone. Robert Downey Jr. (who Gervais introduced as being from the Betty Ford Clinic and LA County Jail) noted that the evening had a mean-spirited, sinister tone to it. Meanwhile, Toy Story 3 stars Tim Allen and Tom Hanks seemed genuinely baffled by the slimmed down Gervais’ tone, commenting that they had both known Gervais as a slightly chubby, kind comedian, neither of which he was anymore. Damn Ricky, burned by Woody and Buzz Lightyear!

At the end of the night, Gervais, content that he had adequately offended the room of celebrities, made aim at the audience at home by taking on the big taboo: religion. “Thank God for making me an athesist” was his sign-off line, surely putting off many viewers. And even more surely making Gervais giggle with delight. The question now is whether this will really have negative consequences for him. Some are saying beyond never hosting again, the association holds a grudge and none of his projects will ever even stand a chance at nomination ever again. And, for a guy who counted on currying favor with Hollywood stars to appear in his HBO show Extras as themselves, Ricky probably didn’t win over many new co-stars.

Check out some of the highlights of Gervais’ hosting gig below and decide for yourself if he went too far. Seemed like typical awards show jokes to me!

Toilet paper?  Crepe paper?  Papier-mâché?

Miley Cyrus, Disney star, Disney hater, possessor of terrible fashion sense, turns eighteen today, folks.  How did she celebrate?  By going to the American Music Awards (and seriously, just how many music awards shows are there, and are they really necessary?!)!  Based on her dress, I think she was sponsored by Charmin or Quilted Northern—they aren’t kidding with that ‘so soft so strong’ stuff, are they!  She was not nominated, so it’s no surprise that she didn’t win a damn thing.  After the show (which had the lowest ratings EVER this year, possibly because Justin “The Beaver” Bieber won everything he was nominated for), Miley and her friends went to a club, where she and her soon-to-be-divorcee mother Tish did a choreographed dance together.  Why? Because people LOVE it, says Miley!  And her mom is a great dancer, even though she’s like forty, she’s with it!  I’M MILEY CYRUS!!  Horse teeth flash.

P!nk showed up with hubster Carey Hart—you know she’s pregnant?  Good for her!  Taylor Swift got her hair did and straightened, and looked like a sad version of Avril Lavigne, who was also there, looking like an awesome version of herself (now, if she’d just dump Brody Jenner…).  I love Nicki Minaj’s music,  but her dress was beyond insanity.  I also caught a glimpse of Michael Costello (boy, anyone can get into these things!) from Project Runway, as he rocked out to NKOTBSB—because…

Also in attendance at the AMAs were the New Kids on the Block (!!) and the Backstreet Boys (minus Kevin Richardson, who left the band in 2006).  And they PERFORMED together, ya’ll!  At first, it’s totally awkward and weird, and then…well, it gets less weird, anyway.  You gotta hand it to NKOTB: they keep up with the BSB youngsters!  I think it’s Donny in the white hat, yes?  And Jordan, of course, is always recognizable.  This is all in preparation for their joint tour next summer!  It kicks off June 2^nd in Connecticut (more info here), and I hope they bring a masseuse along, ‘cuz the New Kids are gonna need one.  Check out the AMA performance before buying your tickets!

-This post brought to you by DIANA

Every year the best and brightest from the TV industry gather for an elegant show watched by millions to honor the biggest television achievements from the year and the beloved TV stars and shows that made those achievements possible. And a week before that, there’s the Creative Emmys.

The Creative Emmys are a chance for the industry to honor those who do much of the real work behind the cameras to make the shows we watch possible. You know, the people that TV viewers could not care less about. Which means very few people check out the Creative Emmys, despite many of the stars showing up. Oh yes, there are fashionable stars there, but they might as well call the red carpet coverage of the event the “Back-Up Emmy Dress Parade.” But this year they moved some of the usually prime-time categories to the Creatives, meaning that we got a few acting awards a week early. Come on, you know the actors are what you tune in for anyway!

The big winners (that we’ve actually heard of) came in the Guest Actor/Actress categories. John Lithgow won for his guest role as the Trinity Killer on last season of Dexter, a well-deserved win for a truly creepy and disturbing performance on an already creepy and disturbing show. The new season of Dexter has a lot to live up to after he set the bar so high! John Lithgow’s return to TV in this role after years on the wacky alien sitcom 3rd Rock From The Sun rivals Bryan Cranston’s transformation from good-natured, inept dad on Malcolm in the Middle to meth-brewing cancer victim on Breaking Bad as far as nice guys you wanna laugh at becoming very sad and disturbing men. Speaking of, will Bryan Cranston win Best Actor third year in a row? Probably!

Neil Patrick Harris won for his guest role on Glee (where he sang a pretty awesome version of Aerosmith’s “Dream On”), kicking off what is sure to be a slew of awards for the extremely hyped show. If not I think downtown LA might have a full-fledged Gleek riot on their hands. Those are some hardcore fans. Board your windows, producers of other award-nominated comedies! Some very well-choreographed gangs might be coming your way. The third big winner, of course, was Betty White. Was there ever any doubt that she would win for her stint hosting Saturday Night Live? I think she might sweep the rest of the awards, even categories she’s not nominated for. Best Actress, Best Drama, Best Sound Editing. The people have spoken, just give them all to Betty!

Emmys! Emmys! Emmys!

The Emmy nominations are out! So you know what that means: time to stop speculating on what/who will be nominated and start speculating on what/who will win! The greatest moment out of the nomination announcements? Hearing that the NBC canceled The Tonight Show with Conan O’Brien has been nominated for an Emmy, while both The Jay Leno Show and The Tonight Show with Jay Leno were ignored. That must feel good, huh Coco? If Conan wins and gets to give his acceptance speech at the Emmys (oh, which by the way, is on NBC) we could be in for something very memorable.

Now onto our premature, gut reaction picks for the major categories! You can read the full list of nominees (including all the boring categories from the “dull” pre-Emmys a few nights before) here.

Best Series, Drama:
‘Breaking Bad‘
‘Dexter‘
‘Lost‘
‘Mad Men‘
‘The Good Wife‘
‘True Blood‘

Our pick: I assume it really comes down to a battle between Breaking Bad and Mad Men (either way, AMC wins!), but Emmy darling Mad Men suffered a tiny bit of backlash from critics last season (simply saying it wasn’t as great as previous seasons is the worst criticism the show gets), while Breaking Bad continued to gain more and more praise, giving it the edge for the top prize this year.

Best Series, Comedy:
‘Nurse Jackie‘
‘Curb Your Enthusiasm‘
‘30 Rock‘
‘Glee‘
‘The Office‘
‘Modern Family‘

Our pick: First of all, the fact that both Community and Parks and Recreation were snubbed is ridiculous. 30 Rock and The Office have both given us years of fantastic entertainment, but this year it was that first hour of NBC Thursday night programming that gave me the most laughs. That being said, I assume Glee will win based on hype.

Best Actor, Drama:
Bryan Cranston ‘Breaking Bad‘
Michael C. Hall ‘Dexter‘
Hugh Laurie ‘House‘
Jon Hamm ‘Mad Men‘
Matthew Fox ‘Lost‘
Kyle Chandler ‘Friday Night Lights‘

Our pick: Bryan Cranston has a streak going, but with a season focused on his perfect Don Draper exterior crumbling it is finally time for Jon Hamm to get the trophy.

Best Actress, Drama:
Connie Britton ‘Friday Night Lights‘
Glenn Close ‘Damages‘
Mariska Hargitay ‘Law & Order: Special Victims Unit‘
Kyra Sedgwick ‘The Closer‘
January Jones ‘Mad Men‘
Julianna Margulies ‘The Good Wife‘

Our pick: It will be Glenn Close or Kyra Sedgwick, mostly because they’re both good but I always forget who is on which show.

Best Actor, Comedy:
Alec Baldwin ‘30 Rock‘
Tony Shalhoub ‘Monk‘
Jim Parsons ‘The Big Bang Theory‘
Steve Carell ‘The Office‘
Larry David ‘Curb Your Enthusiasm‘
Matthew Morrison ‘Glee‘

Our pick:We’re still a season away from giving Steve Carell a final goodbye Emmy, so it’s about time: give Larry David an Emmy for playing himself. He’s prreeetty, prreeetty good.

Best Actress, Comedy:
Tina Fey ‘30 Rock‘
Lea Michele ‘Glee‘
Julia Louis-Dreyfus ‘The New Adventures of Old Christine‘
Amy Poehler ‘Parks and Recreation‘
Toni Collette ‘United States of Tara‘
Edie Falco ‘Nurse Jackie‘

Our pick: I love you Tina Fey, but even you must be running out of funny things to say in acceptance speeches. Give her a year off to re-group and give the award to her Baby Mama co-star Amy Poehler, who defied expectations by creating a character for Parks and Recreation that isn’t just the female Michael Scott.

Oh, and of course Terry O’Quinn should win Best Supporting Actor for Lost, because playing one John Locke is awesome enough, but playing 3 dramatically different version in one season is just amazing.

The Hoff: Never one to pass up a chance to sing.

First of all, in fantastic TV health news, Dexter star Michael C. Hall, who depicts America’s favorite serial killer with a conscience, has recovered fully from Hodgkin’s lymphoma. This is according to his wife Jennifer Carpenter, who, in a very creepy Luke/Leia scenario, plays Hall’s sister on Dexter.

In not so great TV/Celeb health news, current Celebrity Apprentice star Bret Michaels is still in critical condition after a brain hemorrhage. Anyone who reads this blog knows about our love of Bret and his various TV appearances. We wish him a speedy recovery!

Now, onto the TV Land Awards. Why, might you ask, does a channel dedicated to playing re-runs of old sitcoms have their own awards show? I wish I had an answer. The TV Land Awards are like the anti-Emmy Awards ‘In Remembrance’ slide show, because each time the camera shows someone in the audience you react with, “Oh, they’re still alive?” Yes, there were the usual white-hairs who were on TV before good TV was invented, but this year TV Land went all out to try and make the show as hip as possible, even with an all-star (ok, very faded but still glowing stars!) musical number led by the Hoff himself.

To guarantee some A-List names at the even, or at least one, the Tom Hanks/Peter Scolari sitcom Bosom Buddies was honored. Does a sitcom about two dudes who dress up as women to live in an exceptionally cheap apartment that only allows female residents really deserve to be honored? Probably not, but it did get Peter Scolari to lend the show his star-power! Oh and that Tom Hanks guy was there too, not sure what he’s been up to. Although the premise does sound hackneyed and corny, Bosom Buddies did pave the way for shows like Lost that are filled with mysteries. Say what you will about smoke monsters and time-travel, none of that is as perplexing as why multiple men throughout the series found Tom Hanks in a wig to be an attractive woman.

The Love Boat, Charlie’s Angels and Everybody Loves Raymond were also honored, but it seems like all anyone could talk about was Glee. Why was Glee even being talked about at an awards show where most of the recipients probably consider the oldies sang on Glee to be “young people’s music”? Believe it or not, Glee was honored as well. With what you may ask? The About Time People Realized Jane Lynch is Awesome Award? The Most Annoyingly Quoted on Facebook Award? Well obviously it wasn’t that, the TV Land audience may just be getting around to Friendster. No, in an obvious (and, might I add, successful) attempt to stay relevant, the awards honored Glee with the “future classic” award, banking on the rabid Glee fanbase to produce some buzz.

The move inspired the greatest moment of the night, when David Hasselhoff (he’s out of rehab?) and Marilu Henner led a group of classic TV stars in a rendition of the famous “Don’t Stop Believin” performance from Glee.

You can watch the full song here.

I mean just look at those background singers! Fred Willard! Al from Home Improvement! Willis from Diff’rent Strokes! Jamie Farr! Shirley Jones! That weird tall dude from Night Court! Jimmie Walker from Good Times! Marcia Wallace (whose face manages to get even more frightening with time)! Other people I vaguely recognize!

Sitcom stars should really get together for sing-alongs more often.