December 9th, 2011, 05:38 PM
A still frame cannot do this horror show justice
I realize there has been a lot written about the creepy, unsettling, and at times downright scary new show American Horror Story, but I am here to tell you there is a much creepier, more unsettling, even scarier new show on the air. It’s called Virgin Diaries and it is disturbing and unnerving on a whole new level. TLC is no stranger to making me queasy and filling me with the urge to cover my eyes to avoid whatever they’re showing on screen (Sister Wives recently featured a very special birth episode that was so downright creepy and weird it made the Twilight: Breaking Dawn birth scene seem normal), but this new show takes the cake. And trust me, TLC has a lot of cake to give out, they have the Cake Boss and all his various spin-offs to provide them.
Virgin Diaries, without a doubt, is more cringe-inducing then all the Saw, Hostel and Human Centipede movies combined. Whether it’s a 35 year old virgin telling a woman on their first date that he is a virgin (much to her dismay) or 3 virgin roommates (well, one of them “reclaimed” her virginity, so that’s a total cop-out) making up lame parody songs about being virgins, this show made me audibly cringe about every 30 seconds. Ricky Gervais, take notes. None of the cringe-humor in the original Office even comes close to this. But the real stars of this episode are the couple who have never even kissed up until their wedding day. Somehow they must have avoided seeing anyone kiss ever, because boy oh boy do they not know how to do it. Check out the commercial below, with their horrifying kiss at the very end. And then count yourself lucky. They kept doing that throughout their reception. Over and over. Again and again. Nightmare inducing stuff. And let’s not even get into their post-wedding night discussion of their awkward first time…