The twins are here!  The twins are here!

Check out this precious family photo of Sex and the City’s Sarah Jessica Parker and hubby Matthew Broderick holding newly-born twin girls Marion Loretta Elwell Broderick and Tabitha Hodge Broderick, alongside qt seven-year-old son James Wilkie.

As reported a few months ago, the girls were carried by a surrogate mother selected by Parker and Broderick.

Congrats to the Parker-Brodericks!

Side note: that James Wilkie’s gonna grow up to be a looker, I’d put money on it. Let’s revisit this in eleven years.

Whoa! Following countless rumors that Sex and the City star Sarah Jessica Parker and hubby Matthew Broderick were splitting up, the pair comes out with this instead.  Or specifically, their publicist does.  The statement:

“Sarah Jessica Parker and Matthew Broderick are happily anticipating the birth of their twin daughters later this summer with the generous help of a surrogate.”

BOING!  Babies?!  TWINS?! Surrogate?!  Wha?!

This really won’t help out the Broderick-is-gay/SJP-is-his-beard rumors, if you ask me.  Yo Broderick, sorry you couldn’t muster up the energy to knock up ole butterface on your own!

And the divorce rumors?  Hey SJP, nice last ditch effort to keep your babyfaced gay hubby locked down!

Jokes aside, I do wish the pair all the best, especially since they’ve got a cute li’l 6-year-old named James Wilkie at home, and they seem totes classy and smart in general.

However - twin girls?  With that horseface and skeletal frame and those bug eyes and no-tooth smile, they’re gonna wind up with a bonafide pair of Olsen Twins.  Grody!

Bueller?

As you all probably know, all of us here at Square Eyes HQ have been mourning Bea Arthur like nobody’s business.  It’s been heartwarming to watch all the Bea tributes rolling in all over the Internets, but it also serves to bum this lady out a bit.  Ms. Bea will truly be missed.

But let the tributes continue, I say!  I thought I’d take this opportunity to share an awesome Bea moment, one that falls after both Maude and Golden Girls on the Bea timeline.

I’m talking about the Sex and the City parody, starring Bea Arthur as Carrie!  Take a look at these classic broads:

Genius, no?  You may recognize Sally Struthers as Samantha, Charlotte Rae (Mrs. Garrett from Facts of Life!) as Charlotte, and Katherine Helmond (Mona from Who’s the Boss?!) as Miranda.  Two kudos to Katherine Helmond for taking the tougher route and being typecast as a redhead rather than a slut.

Heck, why not throw in one more!  Here’s Bea on The Golden Girls in her signature role as Dorothy Zbornak, with the amazing Estelle Getty (RIP as well!) as Sopha “Ma” Petrillo, singing “I Got You Babe”:

So good!  Like Erin, I haven’t been cast as a Dorothy in the online quizzes (I’m a Blanche, okay? You don’t get Dorothy looking THIS good), but I’ve always been envious of that razor sharp wit and impeccable comedic timing.

Sigh.  I’ve gotta stop right there, all this nostalgia has got me doing one of these:

We love you, Bea!

Well, shucks.  Sarah Jessica Parker is having some boy trouble lately.

First, I hear Chris Noth has yet to formally sign on to do the next Sex and the City movie.  Scheduling issues are holding him back at the moment.  What, he’s busy doing Law & Order: Criminal Intent, or something?  Burp.  Wake me up when it’s over.

Eh.  No big deal, just slap Tony Danza or some other reasonable facsimile in there to play Mr. Big.  You still cool, SJP.

But THEN, I come across THIS petit exclusive: Sarah Jessica Parker and Matthew Broderick are indeed divorcing!  Celebrity Smack reports the news, from “a reliable West Village, New York source,” that Mr. Ferris Bueller and Ms. Square Pegs are calling it quits after nearly 12 years of marriage.

All sorts of rumors have been circulating about the two for a while now, from Broderick having an affair with some young minx, to SJP being Broderick’s beard.

Good luck to the babyface and the butterface (come on, don’t act like you don’t know who’s who!)!  I hope for their sake and their son’s that these rumors are nothin’ but rumors.

Exciting news for Sex and the City fans this week! Us Weekly reports that all four ladies have officially signed on to do the sequel to Sex and the City: The Movie.  Carrie, Samantha, Charlotte, and Miranda together again on the big screen!

What could possibly happen in the sequel?  Perhaps the birth of some Carrie/Big offspring?  Samantha buckling down with some dude?  Miranda coming out?  Charlotte boring me to tears? A fabulous dressing room montage?  ALL OF THE ABOVE?!?!

Who knows!

But even more importantly, check THIS out.  MTV U.K. reports that Sarah Jessica Parker supposedly said the following:

“My idea is to have someone like Britney Spears move to New York as my cousin or niece and Carrie would show her the ropes.”

WOW!  Could you imagine?  Li’l Miss Britney Bradshaw!  EVERYONE wants to take Brit-Brit under their wings.

*Sniffle.*  I’m not a charity case, y’all!

Looking forward to seeing what happens.  No release date for Sex and the City 2 yet, so stay tuned!

OMFG!  My eyeballs nearly popped right outta my head when I saw these:

That’s right, folks!  Golden Girls dolls!  The inspiration for shows like Sex and the City and Girlfriends (says me!), immortalized in porcelain (no clue if that’s porcelain!) and on sale!  Peep this DListed post for more deets.

The Sophia and Dorothy are perfect!  The Rose, mediocre.  The Blanche?  Yechhh.  To be honest, I really couldn’t see her trademark honey-drippin’ Southern swagger coming out of those doll limbs.

How come no one ever knows what to get me for my birthday?  I’m really easy to shop for.  Exhibit A, above.  And I still need the Six doll to complete my Blossom doll collection, FYI.

Get on it, people!