Not sure if this has aired on MTV yet, but I just came across a trailer for a Paris Hilton documentary called Paris, Not France. Check it out:

Bleh.  Personally, I hate Paris Hilton’s campaign to convince the public that she’s not a total dumbass.  It’s all a joke!  I act dumb cuz that’s what the public wants.  Barf!

This looks like a well-edited film produced to convince us she’s actually super deep and complex.  I’m not buying it.  And why is she complaining about not being taken seriously?  She did this to herself!  And all of a sudden she wants to be like Princess Diana but can’t?  A little effort to do anything besides carry around small dogs would be a good start.

Anyone who’s seen Paris Hilton’s My New BFF or The Simple Life can attest to Paris Hilton being hugely stupid.  She may be caricaturizing herself sometimes, but come on!   Some things you just can’t fake.

[Source: Allie is Wired]

Oh, brother.  Listen to this load of malarkey.

Apparently, Paris Hilton has copyrighted her new catch phrase, “That’s huge.”  She’ll be charging any public figure who uses the phrase.

Oh, and bee tee dubs, she’s already locked down “That’s hot,” so don’t even try to use that one.

Hmph.  In the words of the great Tina Fey, Paris Hilton’s a piece of sh*t.  I’ve watched an episode or two of Paris Hilton’s My New BFF, and I really don’t understand why anyone would legitimately want to be friends with her.  She’s not funny or charming or even fun, and she’s like, negative smart and mean-spirited.

In fact, my favorite thing about Paris is that she never got her hook nose fixed.  She coulda bought herself a super nice schnozz with daddy’s money, if you think about it, but she stuck it out with that skin-scythe.

At least Heidi and Spencer work hard for their airtime.  Paris just sorta hangs around holding tiny accessory dogs.

Okayyy, rant OVER!

[Source: Allie is Wired]

It’s been a while since we’ve heard from Brittany Flickinger, winner of Paris Hilton’s My New BFF.  Last we’d heard, Paris was dissin’ Britts something awful at Sundance.  Did the BFFship take a turn for the worse since then?

YUP!  Take a look at what Brittany told Dr. Blogstein’s Radio Happy Hour:

“I’m really sick of getting branded with a bad reputation for hanging out with her and sticking up for such a disgusting, self-centered user. I’m a good person… I have morals. I don’t have to do anything disgusting or rash to get famous.”

“She’d tell me things that made me think I was her best friend. And we got really close. And I’m like, Oh, man, this is really nice.”

“Then all of a sudden it was like, ‘Casting for BFF 2! Better end this now. Bye. I don’t need you anymore.’ That’s disgusting to do to somebody… That’s defamation of character.”

Hmm.  I find it hard to believe Brittany truly thought Paris would be her best friend forever and never star in another BFF-search show again.  And, um, un-BFFing someone doesn’t quite qualify as “defamation of character.”

Come on now, Brittany, REALLY?!

She’s obviously dragging Paris‘ through the mud for publicity.  You know, to call attention to her “music” or whatever.  Why else talk about it at all?

Who’s the self-centered user now, Brittany, huh?  Who’s defaming whose character, eh?  WHO!?

ANSWER ME!

QQ: What’s the deal with grown-arse women with no self-respect?

Not since Lisa Rinna degraded herself up on the streets of Melrose have I felt so yeeechhhh.  This morning, photos of Paris Hilton shopping with a dolled-up Kathy Griffin surfaced.  Feast your eyes on this hot mess:

Thanks (but no thanks!) to Socialite Life for the pics.  I can only assume Paris and Kathy were out filming a scene for another season of Paris Hilton’s My New BFF or Kathy Griffin: My Life on the D-List.  Publicity stunt!

But seriously, COME ON, Kathy Griffin!  You wonder why you’re on the D-list?  It’s because of shizz like this.  Even Cloris Leachman wouldn’t stoop this low.

If you have to explain the joke, it’s not funny, people.  On that note, as a bonus, here’s a super post-modern pic of Paris Hilton for you to ponder.  xoxo!

Oh WOW.  I never thought I’d say this, but Snoop Dogg is really losing his credibility these days.  The dog-faced rapper (and star of Snoop Dogg’s Fatherhood!) is clearly facing some tough times.

First, he hangs out with these losers:

That’s Heidi and Spencer from The Hills, y’all, if you’re lucky enough to not know.

And then, he goes and does THIS:

Yep, that’s socialite and worthless person (and Paris Hilton’s My New BFF star, I guess?) Paris Hilton Snoop’s hanging with.  And, erm, freestyling with.

They’re likely totally wasted or on drugs, or BOTH, cuz there’s no other explanation for any of it.  This reminds me of the time I wrote a rap in the 3rd grade that rhymed “happy” with “rappy.”  Except that was way better.

Ugh.  Snoop totally forgot about Dre.

Oh geez.  So anyone who watched Paris Hilton’s My New BFF knows the coveted BFFship was awarded to model/aspiring rocker Brittany Flickinger.  I was actually rooting for Brittany throughout the show, 90% because I like her style and 10% because the other girls had bad hair.

Superficial?  Me?  I’M SO SORRY I’m being shallow in choosing a best friend for Paris Hilton.  I totally need to watch The Hottie & the Nottie again and take a long look at myself.

But let’s get back to business.  So everyone had their doubts that Paris’s BFF from Paris Hilton’s My New BFF would actually turn out to be Paris’s BFF in real life, you follow?  Howevs, Paris and Brittany totally proved us all wrong when they started showing up like eeeeeverywhere together, leaving ne’er a photo-op unturned.

Peep this, for examps:

Joined at the Uggs!

Britts even blogged about it over the holidays!  Some choice excerpts:

“Paris and I have been going out almost every night to clubs, all kinds of openings, etc. We also hang at her house a lot (I don’t really go home to my place anymore ha ha). I think it’s safe to say that I’ve claimed one of the guest rooms. And yes, believe it or not, it’s pink.”

“Her mom even said to me, “Do you feel comfortable? Like this is your second family?” And I thought about it … like, OK,we just met, so maybe it would be kinda weird and coming off too strong if I said ‘yes’, but everyone was so nice and welcoming that I couldn’t help but say, “Yea. I do!””

“Paris’ friend Shayenne came to hang out with us, too, and I actually got a little insecure. It’s not really that she was insanely beautiful — it was that she and Paris were such good friends. I kinda felt out of the loop when she was around.”

Blah, then they went home and sat around and watched Gossip Girl.

HA!  All those things crack me up.  The pink guest room (believe it or not ha ha!), the creepy mom (omgah do NOT weird Kathy out, B!), the insecurity (oh noes! real bff!).  This is the stuff reality shows are made of!

But UH OH!  Trouble in PARISdise (see what I did there?)!  Page Six reports that sis Nicky can’t stand Britts and won’t let her stay at Jeffrey Katzenberg’s house (omg his house is DIVINE jk never been there) whilst they’re all at Sundance, forcing the girls to rent a condo.  Furthermore, Paris is totally ditching Brittany for Danity Kane singer Aubrey O’Day!

“PARIS, STOP LEAVING ME!!!” Brittany reportedly screams from a Utah clocktower (jk there’s no clocktower at Sundance jk i have no clue there might be).

So what think, folks?  Is Brittany’s tenure as Paris’s BFF over?  Are Paris’s pouty lips poised to spew a “TTYN” at her direction?

Who cares, am I right?