Woo hoo!  Here’s the trailer to Heather Locklear’s return to Melrose Place::

Lolz.  It amuses me to no end that such fanfare is being made re: some babe’s return to an apartment complex.  Can you imagine if people said shizz like “Uh oh… the bitch is BACK” next time you moved?

On the serious tip, Amanda Woodward’s gonna make this crappy show WAY better.  Bon voyage, Ashlee Simpson-Wentz!

[Source: DListed]

Ouch!  Looks like both Ashlee Simpson-Wentz and Colin Egglesfield have been DROPPED from The CW’s Melrose Place remake.

In an exclusive interview with Entertainment Weekly’s Michael Ausiello, executive-producers Todd Slavkin and Darren Swimmer give us a bit of color on the show’s future.  An excerpt:

What was behind the decision to let Ashlee and Colin go?
TODD SLAVKIN: Well, we always knew that this murder mystery would end in episode 12. And we always knew that [Ashlee's] character of Violet would be instrumental in that as a suspect, and [Colin's character of] Augie as well. And once that murder mystery was solved, she would go on her way. That was the original plan going into the development of the show.

So it was always the plan for Ashlee to leave after episode 12?
SLAVKIN: Yes. Because we felt that once the murder mystery was resolved, the tone of the show was going to shift into a much more fun, romantic, sexy upbeat kind of show, and [her] character would move on.

Same thing with Colin?
SLAVKIN: Colin was always meant to be the ultimate suspect. And his brooding alcoholic [character] tonally didn’t fit the paradigm moving into post-murder mystery Melrose Place.

Is it fair to say that if either of those characters clicked you would’ve found a way to keep them?
SLAVKIN: Well, you never know when you go along. But in the end, we felt like it was right [decision].
DARREN SWIMMER: The nature of soaps is that as things progress along, the story takes on a life of its own and the characters come and go in relation to that.

Hmm.  Sounds like a bunch of PR talk to me.  Let’s face it, Ashlee was one of the crappiest parts of an already crappy show.

But don’t fret, Melrose Place fans!  Heather Locklear‘ll show up and knock the socks right off of yo feets.

It’s official!  Actress Heather Locklear will be joining the cast of The CW’s updated Melrose Place!

The evil Amanda Woodward’s return is slated for November 17th.  Last we saw the villainess, she was faking her own death.

What will they think of next?

Locklear’s return will hopefully give Melrose Place 2.0 a bit of a boost - the show has reported disappointing ratings thus far.

I can’t say I’m too surprised ratings are low. “Tuesday is the new hump day”?!  That’s your tagline, TV execs?  SHEESH.

[Source: BuzzSugar]

Funny or Die brings us a sneak preview of another remake by the fine folks at The CW.  Following in the footsteps of the Beverly Hills, 90210 remake 90210 and the revamped Melrose Place, check out the upcoming Seinfeld 2.0:

What’s the deal with how crappy that is?  Jk jk jk jk jk don’t mean to be a jerk.

A great idea, with poor execution.  I understand this is a joke about how CW shows are vapid and infused with hoodies and references to texting (sexting?).  But…. eh.  Could be much, much better.  Performing Seinfeld lines in a monotone ain’t a joke.  It’s kind of depressing.

Would’ve been funny to create new one-liners.  Throw in a joke about the Internet maybe?

Excitement!  The 2009 TV fall line-up has been revealed and it looks like Melrose Place 2.0 will be airing right after 90210 Tuesday nights on The CW.

I know what you’re thinking: welcome to the ’90s!  It’s true; the original Melrose Place debuted directly after the original Beverly Hills, 90210 back in 1992.  Déjà vu!

The CW has released a few promo pics (see one above!), as well as a short sneak preview.  Take a look:

Ha!  Looks pretty ridic, I’d say.  Ain’t nothing more ridonkulous than a murder in a pool and a car door that opens upwards.  Can’t wait to see what they come up with next season.  So glad to be old enough to stay up past 9 p.m. on a school night!

Side note: was Ashlee Simpson-Wentz’s ’s chin always that big?

LOLZ!  Poor Lisa Rinna!

Following her ridiculously pathetic campaign to get on The CW’s upcoming Melrose Place update, Lisa is reneging.

Here’s what she told Entertainment Weekly:

“I don’t think I wanna go back anymore. Seriously, I watched some old tapes recently — Harry [Hamlin, her husband] and I were going through stuff. It doesn’t feel right! It feels weird. I’ve changed my mind. You can’t go back!”

Lippy Lisa played character Taylor McBride from 1996-98 on the original series.  I guess she’s no longer in any mood to reprise the role.

What, did she JUST find out the show was crappy?

I call sour grapes!  Shenanigants!  I assume she didn’t get the call she was hoping for and is now doing some back-pedaling.  All’s fair in love and Melrose Place, Lisa.

Can’t she just join the cast of Courtney Cox’s Cougar Town or something?  Throw this woman a bone, someone.

Wowzers!!!  More Melrose Place 2.0 news!

Check it out: Laura Leighton is on board to reprise her role as the conniving Sydney Andrews on the new series.  Though the fifth season finale of the original Melrose Place saw Sydney being run over by a car on her wedding day and presumed dead, bitch is BACK.

Sources say she’ll be playing landlord to the new tenants.  WAY awesomer than Mr. and Mrs. Roper, no?

This means there’ll totally be catfights in the swimming pool, dudes.  Welcome home, Sydney!

Well, this is just stupid.

Lisa Rinna, most recently of Dancing With the Stars (though she’ll always be Billie from Days of Our Lives to me!), was out - what would you call this…. picketing? - today for a role on Melrose Place 2.0 on the REAL Melrose Place in L.A (you see what she did there?).  Ross the Intern from The Tonight Show with Jay Leno joined her for moral support.

What the fudge? Take a look at Lisa and her plumped pout, picketing it up:

So much desperation in that frozen-in-place face.

Lisa actually played character Taylor McBride from 1996-1998 on the original Melrose Place and has clearly been dying to reprise the role.  No word on her status yet, though apparently Ashlee Simpson is on board (wtf?), and Heather Locklear is not.

I can’t stop staring at these photos.  This is what a mid-life crisis looks like.  Be careful, children.

Hey!  Remember back in October 2k8 when we told you about Melrose Place 2.0?

Well, yep, CW bigwigs are STILL planning on updating the sexy sexy ’90s primetime soap, à la the Beverly Hills, 90210 revamp, 90210.

The Entertainment Weekly blog just posted a few new deets about the show, one which has been rollin’ ’round my head all morning.  Apparently, Davis Guggenheim, Oscar-winning director for Al Gore’s opus An Inconvenient Truth is on board to direct the new Melrose.

Weird, right?  You’d think Davis would be on to bigger and better things.  Melrose Place 2.0 seems like a step down.  Can’t he get a job directing some hip viral video where a bunch of celebs including Ashton Kucher and probably Hayden Panettiere wear white t-shirts and talk about what they do to go green”?

It makes a little bit more sense if you look at it in context.  Dude is married to Elisabeth Shue, actress (HER opus?  Adventures in Babysitting, duh) and ex-Melrose Placer Andrew Shue’s big sis.  Perhaps Davis is doing the Shues a favor.

Or maybe he’s just a fan?  Could that be it?  Btw, I’m trying to fit in a “waiting for the other Shue to drop” pun in here, but I’m getting lazy and it likely wouldn’t make sense.  Sorry!

In any case, I’ll be watching the grip of orig Melrose Place episodes available online in preparation for the new show, which I’ll def be tuning in to.  I’m looking forward to some sweet green product placement, e.g. Priuses and curly lightbulbs and hemp shower curtains and such and the like.  Love ya, Al Gore!

Holy moly, it’s raining spin-offs! The blogosphere is abuzz: Melrose Place 2.0 is on its way!

As I’m sure everyone’s heard, a Melrose Place spin-off is in the works, following the success of The CW’s new 90210. Now, for any of you chumps born too late to catch the original series, it was a spin-off of Beverly Hills, 90210 that aired between 1992-1999 and followed the lives of a bunch of saucy, slutty residents of a small apartment complex in Los Angeles.

Am I blowing your mind yet? A spin-off of a spin-off whose source has already been spun! Dr. Seuss would be seriously stoked right now, espesh if he were really into primetime soaps.

What will they call it? Maybe they’ll take a cue from 90210 and leave it at just Melrose, or the totally poetic Place. Perhaps a reference to apartment life, like Fixed-Term Tenancy or the somber Expired Lease. Ooh! Or something totally deep like Complex, which would refer to a) the apartment building and b) the state of affairs within the apartment building. Oh MAN, I should patent that.

Melrose Place 2: Electric Boogaloo?