June 3rd, 2010, 02:12 PM
Alas and alack the day! One of the two remaining Golden Girls, Rue McClanahan, has died. We here at Square Eyes are heartbroken that Blanche Devereaux has gone to the big lanai in the sky, leaving only Betty White to represent the feisty foursome. Though Ms. McClanahan had a long and storied stage, television and film career, it was her iconic role on the hit show for which she is best remembered. Let’s take a look back (through the tears!) at some of Blanche’s best moments:
Everyone knows celebrities die in threes (protect yourself, Betty White! Surround yourself with soldiers, doctors and angels, and load up on cheesecake and lemonade!), and with Art Linkletter, Gary Coleman (whose wife was really his ex-wife and may have killed him! Sordid!) and Dennis Hopper all going last week, perhaps this week it’ll be three women? My money is on Zsa Zsa Gabor and Lindsay Lohan. Or perhaps Amy Winehouse (she’s been looking rough again lately—actually, she always looks rough). Maybe Angela Lansbury, just because she hasn’t really been in the news lately.
Did you hear, gentle readers? Heidi filed for divorce from Spencer Flesh-colored Beard Pratt! Kray-zay! But wait, but wait. It was an entirely scripted pack of lies. Lies! What?! I know, right?! See, Heidi is moving out to live with her BFF Jen Bunney (yes, that’s her real name) to think about her marriage and try to focus on her acting career. No, not porn. Acting. Not porn! Acting! She’s an ACTOR, destined for greatness! Haven’t you seen The Hills? Jeez. You’d think she was some sort of reality show famewhore or something.
Anyway. Spencer’s production company is producing it. And it’s called The Heidi Show.
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