Archive for the ‘Friends’ Category

They’re Always After Me Jennifer Aniston!

Posted by KAT in Friends

March 17th, 2009, 11:37 AM

Happy St. Patrick’s Day, everybodyyyy!

In the grand spirit of Irish stereotypes and hating on Jennifer Aniston, we’ve taken a cue from Scandalist and decided to post the climactic scene from the movie Leprechaun featuring bummer Jen:

Yup, before she played the well-groomed Rachel Green on Friends and let her love for Brad Pitt linger desperately long, Jen played character Tory Reding in the 1993 film.  Tory’s mission was to save her friends from an angry leprechaun on a killing spree whose pot o’ gold had been taken from him by, you know, finding a four leaf clover in a clover patch and whatnot.


No, that’s not a Lucky Charms cereal commercial, it’s a feature-length film, dummies.  Love it or leave it!

Oh, and in case you hadn’t heard, Jen and John Mayer broke up AGAIN, so if you don’t have any plans for the evening, I suggest you watch He’s Just Not That Into You and pour out an Irish Car Bomb in honor of our favorite Debbie Downer.

Too soon?  Uncool, Kat.

Your Tour Ends Here, John Mayer

Posted by KAT in Friends, Rock of Love, Rock of Love 2, Rock of Love Bus

February 10th, 2009, 04:27 PM

Bret Michaels & Jennifer AnistonWahoo!  Here’s what Bret Michaels, star of Rock of Love, Rock of Love 2, and Rock of Love Bus had to say about Friends / whateverthatmoviescalled star Jennifer Aniston:

“There is no doubt I find Jennifer to be very hot, smart, funny down-to-earth and a great actress. She is creative and seems to be on top of her business as well. Most importantly, she seems like someone you could take home to meet mom — yet, behind closed tour bus doors, she could rock your world. I am really just stating the facts as I see them.”

On her relationship with John Mayer, he says he respects it, “but should John fall out of the picture for some reason… I’m just saying.”

Hey-ohhh!  As a huge Bret Michaels fan and a big believer that Jennifer Aniston is a total bummer, this hypothetical coupling warms me to my core.  Jennifer Aniston alone?  Sad and pathetic.  Jennifer Aniston and Bret Michaels?  A couple of adorable forty-year-olds who’ve decided there’s honor in settling for less and will forever live a warm life of mind-numbing comfort, crying in each other’s arms and flat-ironing one another’s hair!

Will you stay in this house and continue to rock Bret Michaels’s world, Jen?

And P.S., go ahead and lie to my face and tell me you can’t picture this young lady writhing around on stage wearing stone-washed denim and a Poison t-shirt cut off at the shoulders:

Jennifer Aniston


The Biggest Losers of 2008

Posted by KAT in Friends, Gossip Girl, Saturday Night Live, The Biggest Loser

December 31st, 2008, 02:01 PM

Yes, there is a show called The Biggest Loser, but that’s not what this post is regarding.  I’m talkin’ ’bout all our fave peeps who sucked it up this year and can’t wait for 2k8 to be over!

Sarah PalinSarah Palin

She made us all chortle with her folksy dumbassness, charmed us with her MILFy makeovers and catchy catch phrases, and inspired a porno, but ultimately cost old man McCain the presidential election and set the feminist plight back 4-5 years (says me, okay?).  And kudos to her 18-year-old daughter Bristol for poppin’ a baby maverick out last week.  Sucks to be you, Sarah Palin!

Hey, does anyone else think Sarah Palin sort of looks like Tina Fey?

Gossip Girl: Aaron RoseAaron Rose

For weeks and weeks Gossip Girl fans had to sit around watching Serena prance about town with ugly, pretentious Brooklyn artist Aaron and wonder what she saw in him.  The crappy art?  The armpit-hairesque goatee?  The blank, lifeless gaze?  Even Gossip Girl author Cecily von Ziegesar called the TV version of her character “slimy,” while real-life Brooklyn artist Aaron Rose wishes they had made him “cooler.”

Guess what!  Rumor has it we’ll never have to see Aaron Rose again!  They gonna write him out lickety-split as if he were Judy Winslow on Family Matters.  Sucks to be you, fake Aaron Rose!

GQ: Jennifer AnistonJennifer Aniston

Now this next one’s an oldie but a goodie.  Doi, former Friends star Jennifer Aniston is one of 2008’s biggest losers.  First, there’s that whole “uncool” thing, where she basically lets us all know she totally still writes about Brangelinagate in her diary.  And THEN, when that somewhat dies down, she whips out her self-tanner, poses naked in GQ (I’m 40 and fabulous, you guys!) and says a bunch of unfunny things about the Jolie-Pitts in an effort to convince us she’s got a sense of humor about the whole thing.  You could smell the desperation!

She’s basically that girl you dumped 4 years ago who sleeps with all your friends to get your attention, friend requests your current girlfriend on Facebook, and tells your mutual buds that you really hurt her but she’s so glad you’re out of her life now and is totally ready to move on, watch out, 2009, it’s a new me!

It was FOUR YEARS AGO, hypothetical crazy girl!

That one was for all you heterosexual gentlemen out there.  Sucks to be you, Jennifer Aniston!

Monopoly ManThe Economy

Oh noes!  I can has bank loan?

Oopsies!  The economy totally sucks and everyone’s losing their job and Dorothea Lange isn’t even around to photograph how bummed we all are so we can show our kids later.  MEGA BUMMER!

Sucks to be you, economy!

Cheersies all around!  Here’s to an awesome 2009, from Square Eyes!

Cuz you gotta have Friends in the New Year

Posted by ERIN in Friends

December 31st, 2008, 01:26 PM

Ever the trendsetter, I’ve decided that 2008 is sooo last year, so let’s book it to 2009 with old man Clark, get plastered, suck face with a random when the ball drops and get funky fresh like Ross and Monica’s NYE dance routine on Friends:

Happy New Year - see you in ‘09!

Happy Holidays From Square Eyes!

Posted by KAT in Beverly Hills 90210, Friends, My So-Called Life, Saved By the Bell, Seinfeld, The O.C., The Office

December 23rd, 2008, 12:04 PM

Chomp up those last few advent calendar chocolates, kiddies, it’s almost Xmas time!

This time of year is good for 3 things: family, food, and TV.  I could go on about the holy trinity of holiday timez all day, but let’s face it, folks, we should probably just stick to TV.

I’ve got a grip of favorite holiday episodes that I’m not afraid to pull out off the top of my head.  Prepare to be dazzled by my TV memory and holiday cheer:Beverly Hills, 90210: Brenda Walsh

- The episode in seas 2 of Beverly Hills, 90210 where Brenda brings that homeless Santa dude home with her for Xmas and the Walshes are like HELLO! This is Beverly Hills, not Minnesota!  That homeless man could be Gary Busey on a bender! But then it turns out okay cuz homeless people that you help on Xmas are actually probs just real Santa testing you.

Saved By The Bell: Zack- The episode of Saved By The Bell where Zack meets some babe at the mall and then finds out her dad is homeless or something and takes em all home but no one freaks out cuz they’re reasonably attractive.

My So-Called Life: Angela- The episode of My So-Called Life where Rickie is kicked out of his house and Angela goes looking for him with the help of a homeless gal played by singer-songwriter Juliana Hatfield who is clearly an angel, and NOT Santa testing you. The O.C.: Summer as Wonder Woman

- The episode of The O.C. where no one is homeless but there’s Chrismukkah(!), a holiday Seth created on account of having a Jewish dad and Protestant mom.  It’s characterized by eight days of presents and one day of many presents.  The Seth / Summer / Anna love triangle is in full swing, but Summer beats Anna’s clever, thoughtful gift by dressing up as Wonder Woman.  Sex it up for the holidays, ladies!

The Office: A Benihana Christmas

- The episode of The Office where Michael gets dumped by Carol because he superimposes his head on her ex-husband’s body in a family photo.  Andy convinces him to go to Benihana to perk up, where they pick up two waitresses and take them to the two competing office holiday parties (Pam/Karen vs. Angela).  Michael can’t tell the Benihana waitresses apart, so he marks his date’s arm with a Sharpie.  HA!

- Honorable mentions: Seinfeld’s Festivus episode and “The One With The Holiday Armadillo” on Friends.

If you haven’t seen any of these, go watch ‘em on blinkx RemoteSquare Eyes will be on vacay starting tomorrow, so you won’t have anything to keep your spirits up anyway. And I would really hate for you to turn to the bottle on our account.

Happy Hols, everyone!

Scrubs Suds Up For Season 8

Posted by KAT in Cougar Town, Friends, Scrubs

December 2nd, 2008, 09:57 AM

ScrubsOoh!  All signs point to Season 8 of Scrubs being fly.  The season starts January 6th on ABC, for what might be its last batch of eps.

Unfortch, it’ll be Zach Braff’s last season for sure.  Dr. J.D. Dorian is on to bigger and better things, namely piano lessons, studying at a university, traveling, making another movie, etc. - at least that’s what he told Tel Aviv’s Haaretz newspaper.  How precious is he, am I right?  Chopsticks, Intro to Rhetoric, and Garden State II, eh, Braff?

Now, I’m a Braff-on-Scrubs fan as much as the next gal, but if he makes another movie, I’m calling it quits on the guy.  Garden State, Zach Braff?  Really?  Cool indie rock soundtrack, bro.   Nice mentally-challenged dream girl, too.  Oy.  Hope he has a change of heart and stays on Scrubs for the long haul.

But enough about me!  More big news for Season 8 Scrubs: Courteney Cox is coming to town!  She’ll be on for a few episodes, guest starring as Sacred Heart’s new chief of medicine, a new hottie doctor that makes J.D. go gaga.

That’s right, folks.  One of our fave Friends is playing a hot older woman, on the prowl for younger blood.  Sound familiar?  Well, it should - it’s yet another cougar role for C. Cox!  She should probs branch out and play a MILF or something.

Other Friends fave Matthew Perry will be stopping by as well, along with some hilars new interns.  Should be good!

Check out some promo vids here on BuzzSugar.  And sit tight, we’ve got a whole ‘nother month to go!

Shows To Snack By: Thanksgiving Edition

Posted by KAT in Friends, Gossip Girl, South Park

November 26th, 2008, 01:29 PM

Happy almost Thanksgiving, folks!

Besides gettin’ stuffed like a turkey, one of the best things about ye olde T-day is the amount of TV you spend watching while yo mama’s slaving away in the kitchen.  But what to watch?  I’ve got some suggestions for on-demand online viewing.  No one watches TV on a TV anymore, dummy.

Friends: Turkey on head

1) Friends Thanksgiving episodes!  And boy, were there some great ones.  I’m having flashbacks of a turkey on someone’s head, former Mr. Aniston Brad Pitt guest starring, and lots of fat Monica flashback scenes.

And you can find them all online!  Check out “The One With The Football”, “The One With The Rumor”, “The One With The Late Thanksgiving”, and “The One With The Thanksgiving Flashbacks” on blinkx Remote.

Totally awesome.

Is that a fez on that turkey head?

2) South Park!  Did you know that 12 seasons are available online?  My gift to you!  No, really, stop, it’s okay you didn’t get me anything, really, it’s my pleasure.

Have you seen the episode with the Miracle Worker Thanksgiving pageant?  Peep these qt kiddies singing a cutesie Thanksgiving song:

Thanks to Dan Hopper of the Best Week Ever blog for welcoming this catchy number into my world.

Gossip Girl: Dorota3) Dorota!  Okay, so sorry to be like sooOOOoooo annoying, I know this one doesn’t really count.  HOWEVER!  I read some mad crazy news today: my main man Josh Schwartz is bringing a special mobile phone series to Verizon users.  A Gossip Girl spin-off centered around Blair’s maid Dorota!

I have no idea when this one’s coming to light, no do I have a Verizon phone… I just got excited and had to blog it up!

But if you STILL don’t have enough to watch, just catch up on episodes of Gossip Girl.  Duh.  It’ll make this blog much more enjoyable to read, don’t you think?  Don’t you yearn to understand me?

That’s all, folks!  Happy Turkey day!

Cougar Town? Really?

Posted by KAT in Cougar Town, Dirt, Friends

October 30th, 2008, 11:54 AM

Courtney CoxOh goodness!  As if being BFFs with sad ole Jen Aniston weren’t bad enough, Courteney Cox of Friends fame has just signed on to star in a new sitcom about a newly-single 40-year-old mom called Cougar Town.  Yes, Cougar Town.  Yeah, as in a show about cougars.

Anyone who’s seen Cox’s previous series, Dirt, knows that it was cliched, condescending, poorly written, and totally boring.  But Cougar Town?  Really, Courteney Cox?  The name of your new show is Cougar Town?

It’ll be co-exec produced by some dude named Bill Lawrence who apparently created Scrubs, a decent show.  Perhaps I shouldn’t jump the gun and assume it’s gonna be terrible.  But come on.  Seriously, Bill Lawrence?  You’re putting out a show called Cougar Town?  You really wanna do that?

Read Lawrence’s vision, as told to The Hollywood Reporter, here.  Barf!

And anyway, aren’t cougars kind of 2k6?  Next thing you know there’ll be a show about trucker hats.

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