American Idol had the sense to ask Usher to mentor the Top 10 contestants for R&B/Soul week. That makes sense because he’s an R&B singer. Having #1 hit-less Miley Cyrus mentor during #1 Billboard Hits week? Baffling. Most of the Top 10 improved over last week, with Lee DeWyze, Crystal Bowersox, Michael Lynche and *gasp* Andrew Garcia impressing the most. In other news, Ryan Seacrest continues to overstep his boundaries with Didi Benami and being obnoxious. Recaps and video clips (by MJ)…ahoy!

Siobhan Magnus – “Through the Fire” by Chaka Khan: Whoa, the golden child took a golden stumble this week. Pitchy McPitcherscreech, what was that? She really had trouble throughout the whole song and hit a lot of bum notes that made me screw up my face. Bad sign. She’s a clear judges’ favorite though because even though she had major issues, Randy, Ellen and Kara all buffered their “That was pitchy / Not your best / Song was too big for you” criticism with “but we LOVE you / but you DESERVE to be here / but you’ve PROVEN you’ve got the goods”. So much bum-kissing going on! Siobhan seemed to take their half-criticisms well until Simon said what we all really thought, “It sounded as if you’d run a marathon and you were singing while out of breath. You were all over the place, I think you look all over the place…It was by far your weakest performance. I’m getting bored with your screaming at the end.” AMEN-elujah! Siobhan’s expression changed to a combo of pissed-off and about-to-cry. – VIDEO

Casey James – “Hold On, I’m Coming” by Sam and Dave: Casey worked hard to show his charisma by smiling a lot and working his electric guitar. It was a smart song choice on his part, although the camerawork was all sorts of disappointing last night: whooshing too far away from the contestants, focusing too long on the band or backup singers - it made it difficult to feel a connection to the performers. Casey’s one of the guys who delivers a decent, non-disgusting performance each week, but he is always forgettable for me. I don’t look forward to hearing him sing and yet I don’t dread it either. Kara and Ellen both felt it was too safe and generic. Kara wanted to hear more of his vocal range. Randy and Simon disagree and both really loved it. Simon thought it was Casey’s best so far because he showed a different side of himself by rocking out the R&B song. – VIDEO

Michael Lynche – “Ready for Love” by india.arie: Big Mike toned it down (woohoo) this week, just sitting (behind the judges) with his guitar and delivered an honest rendition of the melancholic tune. I find Michael annoying when he preens and struts around for the upbeat songs, but I admit that this was really excellent. His vocal control was unwavering and he (finally) seemed sincere. I’m an india.arie fan though, and I know the song. I’m not sure if it connected with folks who don’t know the song as well. Despite the mellow energy, the judges all felt he really nailed the song’s intention. Simon read my mind again and said it was the first time that he took Big Mike seriously as an artist. – VIDEO

Didi Benami – “What Becomes of the Brokenhearted” by Jimmy Ruffin: I’m a Didi fan. I want to continue being a Didi fan. But man alive is she living up to her Idol persona of “emotionally fragile, Didi Benami“. Her performances are as up and down as her emotions. For reasons unknown, the song is incredibly personal to her and she broke down in tears when she first sang it for Usher. That’s all fine and good, but oddly enough, there’s zero connection when she sang it live. She was in this olllld-fashioned, sequined gown, changed the melody too much and didn’t really emote beyond making pleading eyes into the camera. What a shame. The judges are all equally disappointed in her, saying it was too overly dramatic, didn’t stick to the melody and that Didi’s lost her way as an artist. They prefer her to be the acoustic guitar-playing, singer-songwriter. Didi is bummed by the feedback, but things get worse when Ryan continually tries to pressure her into talking about why the song is so significant to her. Didi dodges the personal question more than once, but Ryan doesn’t take the hint and makes everything awkward for her, for the judges and for us at home. Zip it, Seacrest! Even the judges had to yell to Ryan to leave her alone. Sometimes Ryan acts like a normal, kind human being, and then there are times like this when he acts like a moron with zero tact. When she refused to spill it, Ryan took it upon himself to blab that she once sang it at an audition for someone special in her life. ZIP. IT. SEACREST. – VIDEO

Tim Urban – “Sweet Love” by Anita Baker: I hate this dope. I DO NOT LIKE HIM. Boring song, mediocre performance as always, stupid puppy dog-Furby-serial killer eyes at the camera and those deliberate speeches where he acts like a dumb, happy-go-lucky guy impervious to criticism, but in actuality knows he can ignore all advice/comments on his suckage because he’s getting by on his looks. Yes, I am bitter that he is still here - I admit it freely! Basically, Tim was rubbish, the judges told him so and he just laughed it off like a douchebag. – VIDEO

Andrew Garcia – “Forever” by Chris Brown: Well, well… it only took over a month, but Andrew finally turned out a lovely performance again by acoustifying “Forever”. It’s already a pretty song that happens to be set against a pop, dance beat, so when Andrew stripped all of that excess away to get to the core message and melody, it was real purdy-like. The judges were really excited that Andrew is “back in the game”. Just when I had written him off, too. The only criticism came from Simon, who said, “As a person, you come over as very boring”. LOLZ. It’s true, but got Andrew’s zebra print-wearing mama up (playfully) in Simon’s face to defend her baby. Annnnnd cue commercial. – VIDEO

Katie Stevens – “Chain of Fools” by Aretha Franklin: Katie’s voice works well with R&B/Soul, but as usual, I was turned off by her pageant-y mugging into the camera. The pouty, trying-to-be-sexy faces don’t work for you, girlfriend. She looked sorta cute, although I didn’t understand what was up with her one-piece gunnysack shorts number and the tight, spandex/leather pants situation going on down there. Oh well. The judges applauded her decent vocals, but all thought it was still old-fashioned and borderline hokey. – VIDEO

Lee DeWyze – “Treat Her Like a Lady” by the Cornelius Brothers: Maybe Lee is this year’s Kris Allen (well, Kris may be better). He’s a humble guy with a groovy rock voice that I love. The only problem is he needs to really turn the dial up on his stage presence. Still, I totally enjoyed his set (of one song) last night. The crowd were in a frenzied frenzy of sorts over it and the judges raved, all agreeing it was the best of the night. Go, Lee! He’s my fave guy in the bunch. My fave lady? She’s up next!  – VIDEO

Crystal Bowersox – “Midnight Train to Georgia” by Gladys Knight and the Pips: I love this song! Crystal’s promised surprise from last week was…that she’d be tickling the ivories (playing the piano for those unfamilz with the terminology). J’adore Bowersox, but I found the piano intro distracting because it was clear that she was focusing hard on hitting the right keys, and her vocals got lost. But then she got up from the piano (thank God) and set her voice freeeeee. It was much better and she got some glory notes in. But I wanted to hear more (the piano segment wasted too much time which could’ve been spent on Bowersox ferocity). Overall, the judges admired her risk, still loved her, but Simon warned her to not stray too far from her usual guitar-playing schtick because that’s what America fell in love with. He doesn’t want her to go too far out of her comfort zone because she was perfect already. Crystal promised that she’ll only do what’s comfortable for her, but she wanted to stretch herself to prove she could try something new. – VIDEO

Aaron Kelly – “Ain’t No Sunshine” by Bill Withers: Ah, little Aaron. His nerves really seem to get the best of him on-stage because his voice got all goat/sheep-like in the vibrato again. He also got locked in that stiff, straddled legs stance and was a bit uncomfortable to watch. Compared to Kris Allen’s grand slam rendition of this song last year, Aaron was like a wiffle ball. The judges still try to be kind to the young lad, but they weren’t particularly into it. – VIDEO

American Idol results are tonight! I would be over the moon to see Tim Urban go home, but I sense that Didi Benami may be in danger. Which contestants did you love and hate last night?

Sweetness and light, ya’ll, did you realize Ricky Martin is gay?!  Yeah, me too, no surprises there.  I wonder how many other former Menudo stars have or will come out of the closet and into the big, glorious world.  Actually, I more wonder if Menudo is still around (the internet comes through again: of course they are).  When I personally first heard the news, my brain went straight to the Barbara Walters interview with The Toronto Star less than a month ago, where she said that her one regret was pushing Ricky “to admit if he was gay or not, and the way he refused to do it made everyone decide that he was.”  That’s nice of her.  Perhaps Ricky’s recent pronouncement was, in some way, influenced by Barbara’s decision to come clean on her one regret.

So You Think You Can Dance is changing the format!  Whaaaaaat?  Read all about it HERE.  On the upside, Mia Michaels will be coming back to choreograph and judge!  On the downside, “bringing back all-star partners” sounds a bit ominous.  I hope it doesn’t turn into some sort of ridiculous and unending Dancing with the Stars, um, cluster-you-know-what.  What qualifies as an all-star?  Someone who has made top 10 before?  Someone who has won?  Hopefully, more information will be forthcoming.

In a RadarOnline exclusive, Sandra Bullock has decided to kick Jesse James to the curb (maybe she’ll channel  Blu Cantrell and sell all his stuff and go on a massive shopping spree!).  Poor Sandra, currently hopping from undisclosed location to undisclosed location as more and more women come forward with stories about her errant husband.  She’ll rise above!  I just know she will!

And finally, Miley Cyrus is quitting music (yay?).  To do movies (boo!).  Not Disney or Hannah Montana movies, oh no, she wants to be a serious actor (are you listening, Raven Symone?).  My money is on a series of romantic, weepy, depressing Nicholas Sparks movies.  And then she fades into oblivion, because that shizz don’t fly forever.  We should be so lucky, eh?

16 and Pregnant tonight!  Who’s watching with me?

- This post was brought to you by Diana

The final season of Lost, considered to be one of the most compelling (not to mention confusing) dramas to air on TV in recent history, is already halfway over, and true to it’s title till the end, the audience is still thoroughly Lost. For all the “answers” promised in the advertising blitz for this sixth and final season, few have trickled out in any clear fashion, meaning the real big answer is: “Yes, you are going to have to buy this whole show on DVD and get fired from your job so you have proper time to obsessively watch it over and over and piece the puzzle together.” Though, honestly, that would be more work than going to actual work.

Not that I’m complaining. A season of Lost where they actually spell out all the answers instead of wrapping them in more mystery and vaguely trustworthy explanations would be like an episode of MacGyver where he simply uses a set of keys to break into a crime-den: it’s just wrong. Instead of an avalanche of answers, this season has actually given us a whole new set of questions. The most important being: why, on an island inhabited by Evangeline Lilly, Josh Holloway and Matthew Fox, would the Smoke Monster (Smokester, as his fellow monsters call him) choose to take the form of the bald dude with man-boobs? (the answer, I realized, is because Locke is rad).The second most important: why, after 6 seasons, do the special effects on Lost still look like an early 90’s PC game?

What really seems to divide fans this season is the “flash-sideways” world (no, not FlashForward, that’s another show that just wants to be Lost), where we get glimpses at the characters in a world where their plane never crashed at all. A what if? A parallel dimension? An epilogue? A lot of fans seem to be answering: who cares? People are writing it off as “filler” and a “waste of time,” because obviously the creators of a carefully planned, epic TV show got lazy during the last season they have been building towards and got some interns to write up some fan-fiction alternate world stuff. That seems likely.

And just because we haven’t gotten specific answers doesn’t mean that the picture isn’t coming together. We’ve gotten a whole lot more of eternal, magical island frenemies Jacob and The Man in Black (aka Smokester), who seem to enjoy long walks on the beach, sipping wine together, and trying to kill/imprison one another. Not to mention that Jacob has a magical mirror that he has used for a very long time to look into the lives of anyone he’s interested in (yes, I realize that sounds like the plot of a Lifetime original movie produced by SyFy. Maybe something called Peeping Demigod?). Who/what are they exactly, and why have they done all these messed-up things to our castaways? Maybe we’ll never know in specifics, but I’ve got a feeling we’ll have a good idea by the end. If not, the creators can anticipate ending up on a deserted island somewhere themselves. Lost fans are an intense and unforgiving lot.

The most recent episode, “Ab Aeterno” (which I believe translates to Emmy Submission, based on Nestor Carbonell’s performance), gave us the most answers yet, finally explaining how Richard Alpert became immortal (and no, his fashionable perma-eyeliner sadly has nothing to do with it) and his relationship with Jacob. Will more answer-filled episodes arrive in the coming weeks? Or will it be back to mysterious business as usual? We will have to wait and see, but either way I’m still hooked.

Look!  It’s a teenage father who loves and respects his partner and his baby!

Oh, 16 and Pregnant.  Oh, Samantha Hernandez.  I suppose we wouldn’t have met this self described “good girl” if she hadn’t gotten knocked up, but I’m disappointed in her anyway.  Not because good girls shouldn’t have sex, but because good girls should know how to protect themselves!  And good girls, of any age, should have the sense to realize that having a baby at age seventeen is not going to be easy or accommodating.  Samantha’s mother, Soledad, was also a teen mom, having Samantha when she was just sixteen.  You would think Samantha would take that into account when deciding to have sex, but perhaps Soledad and Samantha’s dad never really talked to her about it.  Although, being as how this episode did take place in Rosenberg, Texas, I guess all that abstinence-only education really tells.  Especially Samantha’s total moron of a friend who said “there’s no way to prevent pregnancy.”  The future of America, ladies and gentlemen!

The great thing about this episode was finally—finally—seeing a teenage boy who actually wanted to help and support his girlfriend and their baby girl (Jordynn—because spelling it the regular way must be just! too! common!).  Baby daddy Eric goes to school, Eric has a job, Eric is there for Samantha when she needs him to be there.  Eric’s mom, Estella, on the other hand, was a real piece of work.  When Soledad found out that Samantha and Eric were having sex, she forbid Samantha from seeing him.  And what happens?  Ol’ Estella comes around, driving the getaway car, and helps Samantha sneak out to see Eric.  And, obvs, sex him up.  Shortsighted, Estella!  Team Soledad, all the way.

I liked this episode for a number of reasons, except why so many inductions, teen mom doctors?  I cringed—cringed!—when Samantha was, what, one day past her due date and her doctor said she should be induced?  And then they gave her the epidural when she was barely dilated?  No wonder she had to have a cesarean section!  That’s no minor surgery, people—they’re so common now (and check out this article on Yahoo! about why so many American mothers are dying in childbirth) that it’s often forgotten that a C-section is major abdominal surgery.  And I fully admit that I, who am 27 years old and childless, I watched that baby being pulled out and squawked in horror!  Samantha seemed to be a little down after Jordynn was born, but I don’t think she was entirely prepared for just how much pain she would be in.  Her screams during labor sounded like they came from panic, not just pain.  It was frightening to watch.  And speaking of which, do these girls ever go to a Lamaze class?  Or any kind of childbirth class?  What to expect when you’re about to pop out a baby class?

All in all, it was nice to see a girl who didn’t describe herself as “wild and crazy!” and a guy who was actually interested and actively engaged in his child’s life.  Next week, though, looks like we’re back to the same ol’ same old, party girl Nicole with loser boyfriend Tyler.  Though the online clip on MTV.com doesn’t show much about baby daddy (although, prank calls?  When cell phone is king? Really), the preview showed a messy looking skater (trashy, not classy, if that makes sense) with stringy long hair and bad skin.  Awesome.  Can’t wait.

- This post was brought to you by Diana -

Last night Miley Cyrus “mentored” our remaining Top 11 American Idol contestants for “Billboard #1 Hits” week. Yes, viewers watched the girl who plays Hannah Montana (and hasn’t even had a #1 song on the Billboard charts, BT Dubs) coach people who were about a decade older than her on singing. Ehhhh, that’s weird… but surprisingly not as odd as the fact that the song choice was a fatty pile of “What the Eff?” Kids, ANY #1 song is at your disposal! What’s with the uninspired old school tune picks? Well, I missed the episode so very brief recaps to accompany the video clips (by MJ) this week!

Lee DeWyze – “The Letter” by the Boxtops: Miley tells Lee to amp up his stage presence and surprise the audience with unexpected notes. He performs the oldie with a Big Band flavor - definitely not a rock vibe like we’ve come to expect. Randy, Ellen and Kara really loved his performance, saying he finally looked comfortable and was improving week after week. Simon, on the other hand, thought it was a bad song choice, not contemporary and looked corny. – VIDEO

Paige Miles – “Against All Odds” by Phil Collins: Paige is recuperating from laryngitis, but Miley warns her about getting pitchy. Unfortunately, Paige is all over the place and off-key throughout the song. Eeeep! So long Paige Miles! The judges are on her like sharks to blood. Randy says it was terrible. Ellen can only compliment Paige’s looks and that she didn’t fall down in her heels before letting Kara and Simon dish the dirty truth with their “music critique”. Kara says it was the worst vocal of the season (ouch) and Simon tells her she’s in serious trouble after that piece of shizz. Doesn’t look good for her at all. - VIDEO

Tim Urban – “Crazy Little Thing Called Love” by Queen: Miley tells Tim to add some riffs *shrug* Tim plays right to his fanbase (squealy young girls) and slides around the stage, jumps off-stage to touch the girls’ hands, etc. He is a dunce but knows how to please his voters. *gag* All of the judges are NOT impressed. They thought his performance was distracting, arrogant and lame. His vocals weren’t good but they bet little girls will keep him in. Reminder: the Top 10 contestants go on the summer tour. Seems like this schmoe is going to be there. I am crying inside. – VIDEO

Aaron Kelly – “I Don’t Want to Miss a Thing” by Aerosmith: Aaron has tonsillitis but is going to sing anyhow. He has a crush on Miley, yada yada. Aaron definitely has problems with his voice, and it’s shaky and pitchy until he hits the higher notes. Still, the judges smoochy smoochy little, frail Aaron and tell him that they liked his song choice. However, he needs to turn the stage presence up a notch and stop acting so old-fashioned for a teenager. – VIDEO

Crystal Bowersox – “Me and Bobby McGee” by Janis Joplin: Somehow, Crystal allows Miley to sign her guitar. Along with the names of Sheryl Crow and Melissa Etheridge. o_O Wow, ok. Crystal delivers another excellent performance, playing along on her guitar and her riffs at the end are soulful and hawt! Do we want to see Mama Sox break out of these types of guitar-accompanied, lady-songwriter songs? She’s consistent and extremely good at them, but will audiences want her to do something wiiiild and out-of-the-box? The judges praise her for being fantastic as usual, but Kara wants to see her guitar-less (Crystal promises she’ll drop it next week if she makes it) and Ellen wants to see more personality/connection. – VIDEO

Michael Lynche – “When a Man Loves a Woman” by Percy Sledge: Miley loves Big Mike’s voice and his “kind eyes”. Good lord. Anyway, Mike’s got a string section to accompany him for this ode to the lovers and he sings it well, if not playing it too safe. The judges fault him for picking such an old, traditional song and also that he tries to over-do the vocals and it becomes lounge singer-y. However, they can’t deny that he’s extremely charismatic and connects well with the audience. – VIDEO

Andrew Garcia – “Heard it Through the Grapevine” by Marvin Gaye: Apparently, the front-runner continues to fall behind. He’s on-key but adds nothing to the song or performance. The judges see it too, Simon says it best: it seems that the judges overrated Andrew’s cover of “Straight Up” because since then he’s picked bad songs and also failed to inject them with some mojo. Simon says we’ve given Andrew too many chances. It’s true - luckily for him, Paige sucked really bad tonight so he’ll probably be around for another week. – VIDEO

Katie Stevens – “Big Girls Don’t Cry” by Fergie: Miley helps Katie with her confidence - girl power yayz. Katie has a lot of pitch problems as usual but it’s not a trainwreck. It’s also not an exhilarating bullet train ride either (metaphor fail?). Randy and Kara mention her wonky notes. Ellen says it’s Katie’s best *shrug*. Simon wants her to drop the Pop/R&B attempts and go country. Really? – VIDEO

Casey James – “Power of Love” by Huey Lewis and the News: Casey tells Miley that he is a fan of her papa, Billy Ray. He plays his guitar and does an excellent job, despite still lacking that “oomph” on-stage. Ellen calls it the vocal of the night. Kara the cougar says he was “in the zone” and could make an album now. Simon has the harshest criticism and said it wasn’t current - just like listening to an 80’s cover band. – VIDEO

Didi Benami – “You’re No Good” by Linda Ronstadt: Didi mixes it up by turning this 70’s song into a Big Band number and tries to sex it up. Unfortunately, the judges didn’t understand it or dig it. They didn’t feel like she was being genuine because she was playing a “sexpot” character. Simon compared her to Lacey (”oh no he di’nnnnn’t!”). Well, at least she took a risk… – VIDEO

Siobhan Magnus – “Superstition” by Stevie Wonder: Miley says Siobhan’s voice has “swagger”. *eyebrow raise* Siobhan opens up the cage to let her powerful, soulful voice soooooar like an eagle throughout the song. Of course, she throws in the screeching “high” notes at the end. The crowd loves her and she gets a standing O. Randy, Ellen and Kara love her and her fearlessness to death. Simon points out that she didn’t hit those big notes and they’re becoming indulgent. He still doesn’t see her as a current, relevant artist (I agree). Besides Crystal, Simon was extremely disappointed in tonight’s show. Yikes - guess I picked a good week to miss it, eh? – VIDEO

So is it too soon to call a Crystal Bowersox vs. Siobhan Magnus final 2 battle? Which team are you on? I dunno if you can see it, but my t-shirt says “Team Bowersox“! Tonight, I’d like to see Paige Miles or Andrew Garcia leave. Neither one have lived up to their full potential since we began this thang called Season 9 of American Idol.

Word on the street (well, on Dlisted via Variety, anyway) is that Sarah Palin, former governor, failed VP candidate, baby mama, current stumper for tea parties (or whatever), has finally made all that notoriety pay off by landing herself a reality show on the Discovery Channel. What in tarnation will this show be about, you wonder?  In the words of Variety, “Sarah Palin’s Alaska’ will center on interesting characters, traditions and attractions in the 49^th state—with the ex-VP candidate as a guide.”  So…do we get to see any bit of Russia?  Because otherwise, I can watch something by Ken Burns and probably not only be a hell of a lot more entertained, but also actually learn something without cringing away from the teevee screen!

In actual pseudocelebrity news (hey, maybe Sarah should go on Celebrity Fit Club instead of having her own show!), Miley Cyrus hates country music (but it made your daddy’s Achy Breaky Heart famous, sister!), the internet, and Hannah Montana.  What?! NO!  But yes, it is the truth!  Miley herself says she has to grit her teeth when being forced to wear sparkles and pink costumes.  Oh, MILEY.  You are part of the Disney MACHINE.  You wanted to be famous, right?  And play your craptastic songs all over the country to sold out arenas of screaming tweens and cringing parents?  Suck it up and deal, princess!  Such is the price of glory!  Haven’t you talked it out yet with Raven Symone?  Miles and miles of Miley can be seen on American Idol this week, where she is guest mentoring (whatever the hell that means—teaching them how to be divas?) contestants and (*gasp*) performing her barfy music on Wednesday’s show. [source]

And, the cherry on this sundae that is this post, Mariah Carey has canceled her remix album, Angels Advocate, which was set to come out next week.  Heartbreaking stuff, right?  I can hear you all sobbing from here. [source]

16 and Pregnant tonight, ya’ll!  Can’t wait!

- This post was brought to you by Diana -

Everyone’s buzzing ’round the watercooler about the new romance on The Office between two Grade A dorks: salesman Andy “‘Nard Dog” Bernard and loopy receptionist Erin. Now that Jim & Pam’s relationship is squared away (married with child, snooze cruise), all eyes are on Andy & Erin to make us swoon.

Are you into this quirky couple? They’re sweet, but can they really top Jim & Pam… or even Phyllis & Bob Vance? Let’s put it to a vote: Which Office couple is your favorite?

A touching moment: the adoption ceremony

Yes, gentle readers, it’s Teen Pregnancy Thursday once again, whereupon I rant and rave a bit about 16 and Pregnant, kids these days (get off my lawn!), and the general idiocy of us all.  This week’s episode featured Lori Wickelhaus of Fort Collins, Kentucky, and I totally have to eat my words from last week regarding her baby daddy!  I said, “it looks like he cares!”  But guess what—he doesn’t!  Not in any way that matters!  Cory (the sperm donor father) could not have been more wishy-washy or ambivalent regarding his impending fatherhood.  And bee tee dubs, Cory, when telling your extremely pregnant ex-girlfriend that she may not be able to move in with you (after you’ve not only said she can but said your roommate was cool with it) because you haven’t actually asked your roommate because said roommate has been out of town, don’t say you’ll wait until your roommate comes home.  You call her on her cell phone, because it is 2010, babycakes, and she has one.  And you know what?  She’ll give you an easy out, because there is no roommate in the world who wants to live with an ex-girlfriend and a newborn.  Seriously.  Trust.

As for Lori’s parents, good for them.  Finally, a set of parents who actually parent!  There’s a lot of talk around the ol’ interwebs that they pressured her into adoption, that they were too unyielding, that Lori will regret her decision and resent her parents.  You know what, Internet?  Every teenager and young adult has a reason to resent their parents.  And eventually, every teenager and young adult grows out of or past that resentment.  Unlike most of the parents on this show, Lori’s stuck to their guns.  They knew what was going to happen: Cory would peace out right after the birth, and they would be left raising and monetarily supporting both the baby and Lori.  It was hard for everyone, parents included.  But, as parents, they needed to help Lori do what’s best for her life now, not what’s best for her life in 10 years when she’s finished her education and can support herself.  And, as they adopted Lori, they know how wonderful it is to be gifted with the child you never thought you’d have.

I couldn’t believe Cory!  What a moron!  When Lori asked him what kind of contact he’d ideally like to have with baby Aidan (great name!) once Aidan was adopted, dumbass Cory said, “every other weekend.”  Newsflash homeboy: that’s not how it works.  And if your family is so supportive, Cory, why weren’t they in the delivery room, supporting you?  Where were they when Lori potentially needed a place to live?  Why didn’t you turn to your family and ask them for help—why didn’t you, Cory, step up and say, “I will care for this child”?  So much promise from the previews!  And such a letdown during the show.

Also—what was up with Lori’s friend Alexa, saying she should keep the baby?  Way to not be particularly supportive there, friend, unless you plan on helping Lori every night and day.  Alexa, maybe you should get knocked up and try to raise a kid as a teenager.  As was pointed out during the show, the simple fact that Lori seems to be pretty familiar with Hannah Montana songs just reinforces the notion that she is not old enough to parent.

And next week!  Samantha shows us the ugly side of pregnancy: what an extremely hard labor is all about!  Can’t wait.

- This post was brought to you by Diana -

Our Top 12 united last night on American Idol to sing tunes by The Rolling Stones. No trainwrecks, but a whole mess of forgettable performances. Also, Ryan Seacrest was the most obnoxious I’ve ever seen him last night - making time-wasting asides, talking back to the judges, trying too hard to play “friend of the contestants”. Stop it, Ryan. Just host the show and move it along. Speaking of, let’s get rolling (bam!) with the recap and videos (by MJ):

Michael Lynche – “Miss You”: Big Mike was a huge hit last week with “This Woman’s Work” but his theatrical gestures and moves on-stage cheapen his performances for me. Too much show, not enough good, honest delivery. He is usually vocally solid and smooth, but it’s exactly as Simon said: It was corny, verging on desperate. Thank you, Simon, for keeping it real. The other judges loved Mike. I wasn’t so impressed and forgot about his performance by the time Didi Benami came on-stage. – VIDEO

Didi Benami – “Play with Fire”: Does Didi look a little Taylor Swift to you? I like her sweet voice and she looked great, but she lost the rhythm at one point. I also prefer Didi’s more vulnerable, guitar-accompanied numbers to these “sultry mode ON” performances, but she’s one of my faves even if she isn’t the strongest contestant.  The judges noticed her mistake, but they liked her intensity and see that she’s gaining confidence. – VIDEO

Casey James – “It’s All Over Now”: Casey is another “solid” performer, although I still don’t like him with the electric guitar. He looked nervous, smiled a little too much and I tuned out before the song was over. He’s obviously a nice guy with some talent, but Casey doesn’t have as much charisma as some of the others, so he still needs to “turn up the star power” as the judges told him waaay back when he first auditioned. However, Randy, Ellen and Kara gave him positive reviews for being bluesy and playing the guitar. Simon was on my side and said Casey was just “a guy standing in the middle of the stage” and needs to push himself to sizzle. Amen! Also, perhaps Casey should stop wearing that same button-up shirt with design flourishes in different colors because I am noticing it - mix it up, man! – VIDEO

Lacey Brown – “Ruby Tuesday”: There was postential for Lacey here, but the arrangement was really slowed-down and backed by a string quartet. It was compelling at first, but Lacey wasn’t able to hold my interest during the lags between verses (too slow!). Also, I didn’t like the way she rushed the “still I’m gonna miss you” lyric. “StillI’mgonnamissyou” does not appeal to my ears. Also, she repeated her sitting-on-the-edge-of-the-stairs choreography from last week which was odd (because she sat down halfway through the song as it picked up!). Ellen also thought that was weird choreography, while the other three judges gave it mixed reviews: she’s did alright but had some pitch issues and needs to work on her stage presence. – VIDEO

Andrew Garcia – “Gimme Shelter”: Oh man, I think I’m officially over Andrew. He’s given a month’s worth of totally underwhelming performances and this one was equally dull. Also, it showcased his vocal weaknesses. I wanted to hear Lee DeWyze instead because at least he has the gravelly voice for this rock jam. Kara gave the best advice (though for some reason Simon nit-picked her for being too literal): it was a song about war and Andrew needed to connect with the lyrics and bring a lot more intensity and fire. Randy said it was extremely pitchy, Ellen said it was his best yet (oh, come ON). Simon played “good cop” and said he hoped Andrew will get another chance. ANOTHER one? Mehhhh. – VIDEO

Katie Stevens – “Wild Horses”: Wow, not a very “Stones” outfit tonight… Katie wore a big frilly party dress, wtf? I’m not a Katie fan, but this was her best performance to date. She has a big-girl voice and the song was slow enough to show it off, allowing her to sing softer in some moments and then belt during the chorus. Y’know, decent and an improvement. The judges don’t think she knocked it out of the park, but it was finally a step in the right direction in terms of song choice. – VIDEO

Tim Urban – “Under My Thumb”: Erm, so Tim turned this song into a reggae tune with his guitar… I thought he sounded fine, but y’all know I do not think he deserves to be on the show and should peace out. Well, the judges gave him credit for mixing up the arrangement, but also said overall it was a mess and didn’t work. Randy said it was really bizarre and weird. – VIDEO

Siobhan Magnus – “Paint it Black”: Let me begin by saying I’m trying to like Siobhan because I love weirdo underdogs, but I am still not on-board the frenzied fans’ Siobhan Magnus Express. These alleged “amaaazing high notes” she hits sound a lot like screeching or screaming to mine ears (Adam Lambert, you ain’t, girl). There are moments when I really love her voice (usually when she pulls back), but overall her performances are scattered. I love “Paint It Black” and I think she lucked out with the song choice, which is intense by nature. She pulled an Allison Iraheta “Hot Stuff” entrance - sitting on the light stairs, starting off slow… and then getting up to work the stage while belting out. *sigh* I miss Allison Iraheta. Siobhan threw in a couple high notes, but her final note was off. Like Danny Gokey “Dream On” bad. Oh well, the crowd went wild for her and the judges raved about her “dramatic” performance. It was entertaining, but c’mon, it was no masterpiece, y’all! She needs to work on controlling her voice and bringing cohesion to her performances. – VIDEO

Lee Dewyze – “Beast of Burden”: Wow, I expected Lee to take advantage of the theme night and go full-on rock. Instead he went acoustic guitar and ended up sounding very John Mayer. It wasn’t bad… sort of sweet even, but not his best work. The judges thought it was good, but wanted to see him really rock out. Simon wants Lee to gain more confidence to shine on-stage because he has the potential. – VIDEO

Paige Miles – “Honky Tonk Woman”: Paige looked loverly, and I was yelling at the screen, “You better let it rip tonight!” I wanted to hear her allegedly powerful voice. She was raspy but definitely threw in some big belting notes (finally!). They were shaky at times, but it turns out she had laryngitis! What the what? Pretty impressive all things considered. The song choice was perhaps too safe and cute, but it was one of her best performances on the show. – VIDEO

Aaron Kelly – “Angie”: I found this totally boring and snoozy. Aaron’s a cute little kid, but it was very amateur, and he’s definitely one of the weakest of the Top 12. The judges gave him tons of praise though (are they afraid to hurt his feelings?). They loved the song choice and thought he stood out - on par with Siobhan. Uh, I’m speechless. – VIDEO

Crystal Bowersox – You Can’t Always Get What You Want”: Crystal’s been pretty predictable with the style of music she performs, but one thing is for sure: I continue to look forward to and enjoy all of her performances. She played her guitar and sang with that natural, easy-going aura that I’ve come to lurve. No flashy stage lighting or choreography, just genuine talent and charisma. She also let her wry personality shine through the lyrics, which I appreciate. Thank you for paying attention to the song’s meaning before delivering it, MamaSox. The judges don’t think it was her best, but agree it was one of the strongest of the night. She’s comfortable on-stage, “easy to watch”, according to Kara. They liked seeing more of her personality as well, but Simon warns her to dig deep each week and not assume she’s got it in the bag just because America likes her. He thinks Siobhan beat her this evening. Psshhh. Those two ladies are like night-and-day, but I definitely prefer Crystal. – VIDEO

Who  were the bottom 3? I’d say Tim Urban, Andrew Garcia and Aaron Kelly. I wonder who will get cut from American Idol tonight? Be sure to celebrate St. Patty’s Day with a green beer as you mull it over. Erin go bragh!

It’s been a while since Erin and I have taken major interest in any celebrity news (well, other than Celebrity Apprentice)!  I want Mr. Bret Michaels to win, but I think Sharon Osbourne will make it to the end, crushing everyone beneath her stilettos and withering British accent.  Could you imagine if it came down to the two of them?  I’d be zoot alors-ing all over the place!

Anyway!  Seems like shocking celebrity news took a bit of time off around the Oscars, and since the celebrities on Celebrity Fit Club and the aforementioned Celebrity Apprentice don’t really count as celebrities, let’s delve into some gossip, shall we?

Firstly, Sam Mendes and Kate Winslet are splitsville!  Just when you thought those two crazy kids had what it takes… but really, everybody knows the key to a successful relationship is to not work together.  Revolutionary Road must’ve really done a number on them.

Secondly, Alicia Keys and Swizz Beats have officially begun making appearances as a couple.  Swizz is currently going through a messy divorce from wife Mashonda, which has gotten messier due to an open letter Mashonda wrote accusing Alicia of (as dlisted put it) “Sienna Miller-ing her marriage.”

Thirdly, Michael Jackson’s estate has signed the biggest recording deal in history: a $200 million guaranteed contract with Sony Music Entertainment for 10 projects over seven years.  Upside: one of the albums will be of never-before-released recordings that will come out in November.  Downside: guess we’ll start hearing his iconic work in advertising, movies, and video games.  Lame, but expected. [source]

In happier news (kind of), Howard Stern called Gabourey Sidibe “the most enormous fat black chick I’ve ever seen,” and her mom, Alice Tan Ridley, called him out on it.  Yay for moms!  [source]

And, in even happier news, I watched Jessica Simpson’s The Price of Beauty last night.  While Jess and her friends CaCee Cobb and Ken Paves are not the most, um, worldly travelers (practically barfing over eating a mealworm?  Puhleeze!), their hearts seems to be in the right place.  I’m a bit divided on this show—on the one hand, Jess and her friends probably have nothing but the best of intentions as they travel and learn about different beauty standards.  On the other hand, this is VH1, and they’re not exactly PBS when it comes to documentary-style shows.  And, the show is produced by Jess’ famewhore dad, Joe Simpson.  He’s not exactly known for impartial judgement.

One more thing: Jessica Simpson and Ken Paves will have babies together if Jess is still unattached by the time she turns 40. [source]

Ok, ONE more one more thing: Lady Gaga is going to be on Glee!!!! [source]

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