Alert!  Hot off the press!  Audrina Patridge is officially leaving The Hills!

Here’s what our chipmunk-cheeked friend had to say at a recent press junket for her new thriller Sorority Row:

“I’m almost done with The Hills. We’re in the middle of finishing these episodes, and I’ll be leaving then…

“It feels like I’m graduating. I’m taking the next step and growing up and maturing and moving on in my life. I moved to Los Angeles to be an actress, and before I got onto The Hills, I was going to auditions and castings and working full-time at Quixote Studios and Smashbox

“I feel like it’s helped me a lot going to auditions and sitting in front of the camera… blocking the camera out and just getting into character.”

Hmm.  If that was a “character” she was getting into on The Hills, I really don’t wanna know what her actual personality’s like. Snooze-a-palooza!

But seriously, folks, we’ll miss that lovable dummy Audrina!  The blank stares, the huge eyeballs, the whiny voice… ain’t nothin’ better.

With Lauren Conrad AND Audrina Patridge gone, what will become of The Hills?  Sure, we’ve still got Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt, and we’re about to lock down Kristin Calvallari, but… will it be the same?

We’ll find out September 29th, when the new season premieres on MTV. Will you be watching?

[Source: US Weekly]

Oh, Mad Men, I love you and every one of your dull, slow-paced, supremely meaningful moments.  I love every minute. Every.  Minute.

Seriously, watching Mad Men is like reading a D.H. Lawrence novel; 250 pages in you’re still riding on the high of a sparsely-described exchange between a lady and her gamekeeper.  Did something happen just now?, you ask.  Probably.

Stay with me here, okay?  I’m trying to explain art to you.  Last night’s episode of Mad Men concerned itself with image, outward appearance, the show you put on to be the way you want others to see you.  Let’s discuss.

Ken Cosgrove and Pete Campbell tell Creative they have to work through the weekend to come up with something for the Bacardi account, while everyone else attends Roger Sterling and wife Jane’s Kentucky Derby party.  The Creatives - including our gal Peggy Olson, Kinsey, and Smitty - decide to spend the time smoking pot to spark (ha! spark!) their creativity.

We witness more instances of Peggy attempting to break through her prudish image; she insists the boys include her in their smoke-out sesh, refusing to be left out again because she’s a prim young lady, a constant buzzkill. We even hear the phrases “My name is Peggy Olsen and I want to smoke marijuana” and “I am so… stoned” come out of her mouth.  The guys truly see her in a new light that weekend as she continues to assert herself against the boys’ club.

The pot comes from Kinsey’s college friend Jeffrey Graves, a drug pusher with a chip on his shoulder - he consistently introduces himself as “Jeffrey Graves, Princeton ‘55,” for example.  Jeffrey seems intent on letting everyone know he’s no worse than any of them - and that the educated Kinsey is himself  just a Jersey man.

At the Kentucky Derby party, we see an amazing assortment of things: Roger performing a Stephen Foster number in blackface (!), Pete and Trudy Campbell breaking their usual awkward mold and doing an amazing Charleston that clears the dancefloor, and Betty Draper, in a too-intimate moment, testing the boundaries of her pregnant sexuality and allowing a flirty man from the Governor’s office to feel her belly.

Meanwhile, Joan Holloway hosts a dinner party for her husband’s bosses and puts on the performance of a lifetime, being charming as hell, entertaining the ladies, and smiling through news that times with her Rapist Doctor Husband will be tough - he recently botched up a surgery and has little chance of advancing in his field.

It all ends with Rapist Doctor Husband’s insistence that Joanie plays a song for them on her accordion, which she reluctantly does.  What we get is a charming French ditty (Cole Porter’s “C’est Magnifique” - so meaningful!) through gritted teeth - Joan Holloway is nothing if not always on point and presentable.  But something tells me, some serious shizz is going to go down behind the scenes with her and Rapist Doctor Husband.  It’s so, so hard to disguise who you truly are, right Mad Men?

Meanwhile, Jane has one too many mint juleps at her party, and embarrasses Betty by indicating that she knows about her and Don’s separation.  Betty runs off, and  Jane pulls Don Draper in by the waist, demanding to know why he doesn’t like her. Roger walks in on the scene and they have a confrontation that seems to have been brewing for a while - we always knew Don was silently judging!  Don tells Roger everyone thinks he’s ridiculous for marrying his secretary. “That’s the great thing about coming here,” Roger says about his country club, “You can be happy, and choose your guests.”  Oy.  I really can’t tell who’s happy on this show.

Back at the ranch, creativity strikes for stoned Peggy and she retreats to her office to get it down in writing.  Trouble is, she has a new nosey secretary who won’t leave her alone, is constantly silently judging her, especially now that she’s crazy stoned.  Enlightened, Peggy tells secretary to quit worrying about her; in a proclamation to not just nosey secretary but to all of mankind, Peggy asserts that she will be absolutely fine.  Peggy Olson, feminist hero!

The program ends with Don finding Betty out in the garden, their silhouettes kissing her in the moonlight.  In the dark, no more pretending.  They can be whatevs.

Best episode of the season so far?  Too much pot humor for my likes, but still, a supreme achievement in the chipping away of Mad Men facades.  I love when imperfections are exposed, y’all.

Have you seen this?  Witness Anderson Cooper’s reaction to The Hills’s Heidi Montag’s horrific performance at the Miss Universe pageant:

Ha!  Love that guy!  He’s a beautiful man, isn’t he?

And with every Speidi media mention - a CNN one, no less! - comes a round of ridiculous Speidi commentary.  Let’s see what the gruesome twosome had to say about Anderson Cooper’s harsh words…

Heidi Montag:

“Oh my God, I love it… I am so incredibly flattered that he’s talking about the first performance I’ve ever done, that he’s talking about me, that he knows who I am. Who gets on CNN? Britney, when she shaved her head, gets on CNN. That’s all that matters: Heidi, CNN, Anderson Cooper. Done.

“We’re in the entertainment industry. It’s supposed to be fun. This is not so serious. We’re not judges. I’d never performed before, not even in front of even ten people! Praise God. I had so much fun.

“Look at everyone’s first performances - look at Britney’s first performance or Lady Gaga’s, even. These girls were hardly even dancing. Britney did a couple little moves; it took her two years to start dancing like I did that first night. And I didn’t mess up one move, I had so much fun, it was such a blessing. I was praying so hard, and I couldn’t have done better. It was miraculous!”

Spencer Pratt:

“He’s [Cooper] got his producers, and that’s what they want to cover? Go for it. I just find it funny that [CNN] is supposed to be the most serious, hard-hitting news. It’s crazy that he doesn’t have something else to talk about, like CIA torture or healthcare…It’s bizarre when that many seconds are spent being negative about celebrities. It’s silly, but hey, I would have paid him to do it.”

A bit o’ inconsistency in their reactions!  They really should’ve gotten their messaging on point before going to the press.  That’s what they do on The Hills, after all.

[Source: Perez]

Big news for The Office’s John Krasinski: he’s getting married.  Twice!

News broke today that Krasinski and his girlfriend, British actress Emily Blunt, will be tying the knot.  To refresh your mem, Blunt was the bitchy one in The Devil Wears Prada.  No, not that bitchy one.  The less bitchy one.

The pair have been dating since November 2008 - just 9 months!  They’ve actually never confirmed their relationship before - however, a rep HAS confirmed that they are engaged.

Now that we’ve got real life out of the way, let’s move on to fake life.  SPOILER ALERT!  A bunch o’ pics from The Office’s upcoming season surfaced on the Internets today; namely, the Pam and Jim wedding!

Krasinksi was photographed on set with co-star Jenna Fischer in some pretty obv wedding garb:

LET’S DO THIS, PEOPLE!

I’ve gotta say, John Krasinski is definitely the marrying kind.  I’m not surprised he’s getting snatched up twice.

[Source: JustJared]

Last night, on Project Runway, the contestants were asked to design an outfit for a very, very pregnant Rebecca Romijn (Ugly Betty).  Not much direction was given; it could be a day look, night look, business meeting look, twiddling-your-thumbs look, you name it!

The gang goes to work and generally gets good feedback from mentor Tim Gunn during the creation process.  With the exception of three!  Ra’mon’s cocktail dress looks like a bowling bag (Hey! no cocktails for pregs ladies!), Mitchell’s short-shorts look like a burlap sack (Sack o’ baby!), and Malvin’s “mother hen” concept needs work (Egg top, chicken thigh bottom? Yikes!).  Make it work, you three!

The designers took their pregnancy-chic designs to the runway.  Honestly, I thought just about every design was decent, with the exception of Malvin’s.  Everyone did a decent job sending well-made outfits down the runway; my only complaint was that they were all a bit boring, perhaps a bit repetitive.

Michael Kors was strangely absent this time ’round.  Guest judge was designer Monique Lhuillier.  Omgah, speak of the dev - the Twihard!

On the chopping block, Ra’mon, Louise, Althea,  Melvin, and Shirin were deemed unsafe by Heidi, while Gordana, Christopher, Epperson, Irina, Johnny, Carol, Qristyl, Nicolas, and Logan’s scores were high enough to keep them in the competition.

In the end, it was boys vs. girls!  Louise, Shirin, and Althea’s dresses were all well-received, while Melvin and Mitchell’s outfits were destroyed.  Life lesson: you should always, always listen to Tim Gunn.  The man is an expert.

The winner?  Shirin!  Her red, drapey cocktail dress was deemed elegant, sophisticated, yet still wearable and comfy.

Did anyone else think Louise’s dress looked sorta similar?  A comparison:

That’s Shirin’s design on the left, Louise’s on the right.

Now it’s down to Melvin vs. Mitchell.  In my opinion, though Mitchell’s was better, I thought he deserved to be kicked off.  It was his second week on the chopping block, and Melvin at least showed more innovation as a designer.

Alas, Melvin got the boot.

Bye bye, birdie!  Er, auf wiedersehen, birdie.

OMFG!  GOSSIP GIRL SPOILER ALERT!!!!!

Socialite Life didn’t afford me the same courtesy warning when posting this exclusive shot off the set of Gossip Girl’s third season.  That’s Penn Badgley’s character Dan Humphrey having a smooch-down with Lizzie McGuire herself, Hilary Duff.

As was reported by us here at Square Eyes, the Duffster will be guesting on multiple episodes as Olivia Burke, a movie star who enrolls at NYU.  I guess she’ll enjoy the company of Dan Humphrey or somethin’.

Less than 3 weeks ’til the big premiere!  At this rate, we’ll be up to season 5 by then, what with all these spoilers circulatin’ the web.  Sheesh, y’all.

Oh heck, why not.  I know you’re gonna enjoy this:

You got it, dude!  Yeah!  Full House’s Michelle Tanner, as played by Mary Kate and Ashley Olsen!   Can you tell which twin is which?  They’re not identical, after all.

My theory is that Mary Kate’s the better actress.  Ashley’s such a priss, after all.  You really need to lose yourself in a role, ESPECIALLY when you’re playing a toddler.  Ashley just doesn’t have the balls to really let go of all social conventions.

Ooooh, it’s been a long while since we’ve heard any updates on the rumored Arrested Development movie-in-progress.  This week, finally, something!

Perez sez that at a roundtable interview for his new movie, Extract, Arrested D frontman Jason Batememan had the following exchange with a reporter:

What is the state of “Arrested Development”?
Jason Bateman: The script’s being written and when Mitch (Hurwitz) is done with it we can go to the scheduling part of it which will probably prove to be a bit challenging given the size of the cast.

And they’re all attached
Jason: He is asked us not to speak about specifics, but that he’s working on it.

It seems like 5 or 6 months there was a lot of momentum. A lot of people talking about the film. And then it seemed like it sort of got a little bit quiet. Everyone’s a little nervous it’s actually happening. Is it, in fact, actually being written right now?
Jason: Yes.

That’s 100%?
Jason: Yeah. Yeah. That’s never changed. I mean people have guessed and “rumored” and all that other stuff in all areas of the media. I’ve always been a little sort of…I’ve always felt bad that I never had more information to give people when they asked me about it, but I guess people kind of got frustrated by that and they just started kind of making up their own sort of “well, we haven’t heard that much” or “news hasn’t changed so it must be going away”. I don’t know. It sort of took a life of its own on and fatigue started to set in I think about the whole story of it. I mean, there’s really no need to write anything about it at all until he’s done writing it. Once he writes it then, just like any movie, then it becomes something a little bit more real and then you try to figure out scheduling and you try to figure out people’s deals. I mean, it’s got the same life that any other project would have. It has just as much a chance of happening as it does of not happening really.

BAM!  Looks like come 2k18, give or take a few years, we should have ourselves an Arrested Development movie!

YAWN.  I’m growing a beard waiting here, people!  Give me my Arrested Development movie and give it toute suite!  Seriously, you think it took this long to pop out those snoozy The X-Files movies?  And The Facts of Life reunion movie?  That probably took all of two days to lock Tootie down and film.  Bring it, AD!

And as for Bateman not speaking about “specifics” regarding casting, I think we all know what that means.  I’m looking at you, Michael Cera!

For reals, WHAT is Michael Cera doing right now that’s preventing him from commiting to filming this darn movie?  Seriously, give me a call and let me know, Mike.

Sheesh.  The bees are straight BUZZIN’ ’bout this Gossip Girl Season 3 spoiler!

SPOILER ALERT: Chuck Bass will be making out with a dude in an upcoming episode of Gossip Girl!  His partner-in-smooch will be NYU’s Head of Freshman Affairs Josh Ellis, as played by actor Neal Bledsoe (CSI: NY, Guiding Light).

Apparently, Josh is the person in charge of selecting a student to deliver the freshman speech - an honor which interests Blair Waldorf greatly.  Basically, Chuckles gets sexy with Josh as a favor to his lady!

BORING!  When I saw headlines of Chuck going gay, I thought we were in for some major plot development.  The Chuck Bass character in the Cecily von Ziegesar book series, after all, is totes bisexual.

We’ll have to wait and see!  Perhaps this new facet of Chuck’s sexuality will play out longer than just one kiss.

[Source: EW.com]

Oh SNAP!  I don’t like the looks of this!  From Hugh Hefner’s Twitter:

The Simpsons‘ matriarch Marge in Playboy?  I certainly hope she isn’t planning on disrobing!  Marge Simpson sans green tube dress would be a shock to the system, let me tell ya.

And what would Bart and Lisa think?  Surely, Maggie would exude a disapproving pacifier-suck.  I suppose Homer wouldn’t really mind.

You aren’t as young as you used to be, Marge.  Who are you kidding, woman?

[Source: Jezebel]