Heidi & Spencer are Celebs… Get ‘em Outta There!

Posted by KAT in I'm a Celebrity... Get Me Out of Here!, The Hills

June 2nd, 2009, 10:42 AM

Last night I spent two hours of my life watching what proved to be the most fascinating show of our time: I’m a Celebrity… Get Me Out of Here.

The reality show follows The Hills Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt, supermodel Janice Dickinson, American Idol reject Sanjaya Malakar, baby Baldwin Stephen, actor Lou Diamond Phillips, comediennes Frangela, former basketball player John Salley, wrestler Torrie Wilson, and wife of Blago, Patti Blagojevich, as they complete a series of challenges whilst roughing it in the jungles of Costa Rica, all to win money for the charity of their choice.

Needless to say, Speidi stole the show.  The pair freaked out the second they step foot on camp, deciding to leave the show about ten minutes in.  Spencer calls the show’s producer and yells at him about the level of non-celebrity involved, and then later tells Lou Diamond Phillips that it won’t matter if they quit because they picked the biggest charities to support anyway.  I guess the douchey logic there is that big charities don’t need money all that much.

In the end, Heidi and Spencer decide to stick around, but then flip out when they find their castmates have split up their clothes and toiletries in their absence.  Spencer throws a bigger tantrum than I’ve ever seen in all the seasons of My Super Sweet 16 combined, and Heidi bursts into tears, blubbering about her tampered-with dry shampoo, asking Jesus for strength and forgiveness and whatnot.

I'm a Celebrity... Get Me Outta Here!: Heidi Montag

They calm down after a while, and we later witness Spencer apologizing to everyone for yelling at them, adding it’s the first time he’s apologized on TV and meant it (omg hope LC’s not watching!!!).  He later lets us viewers at home know his apology wasn’t sincere - he was “faking them out,” too.

I can’t even fit all the mind-blowing nonsense I witnessed last night, but here’s a sampling of Speidi quotes from the episode to give you a taste:

Heidi to Spencer, literally 5 minutes after getting to camp:
“I cannot not have sex with you for that long.”

Heidi, bawling her eyes out in the confessional, while Spencer yells at everyone:
“My husband is a very new Christian so he is working very hard on his temper and stuff but I feel like with anyone, like with the mama bear, you mess with the cubs, you’re gonna get the wrath of the daddy bear.”

Spencer, after Heidi finds her dry shampoo tampered with:
“Heidi, this was the first time you cried on camera and it wasn’t fake.”

Spencer, explaining his plan for the show to John Salley:
“I’m a villain, so why wouldn’t I want my brand being negative everywhere?”

Thankfully, Heidi and Spencer’s rollercoaster ends on a positive note, with Heidi praying with Blago’s wife (SO WEIRDED OUT!!!) and the pair being good sports about eating the disgusting crap provided to them in the eating challenge (think rat tails, cow intestine milk shakes, live stick insects…).

Regardless, rumor has it this morning that the dynamic duo have officially quit the show for good.  Guess we’ll have to watch tonight to find out!  Yes, again, tonight.  Seriously, this show is on FOUR days this week.

To be honest, I’m not watching after Speidi quit.  I think they might secret geniuses.  You can’t put a price on entertainment this good.

Or actually, let’s go with idiot savants.  Here’s a picture of them sleeping, to prove my point:

I'm a Celebrity... Get Me Outta Here!: Spencer Pratt & Heidi Montag

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