Archive for March, 2009

Big Changes To Come For 90210 Season Two

Posted by KAT in 90210, Beverly Hills 90210, Gossip Girl

March 31st, 2009, 05:41 PM


Hmph.  If you’ve been patient enough to regularly watch and at least mildly enjoy episodes of 90210 this season, you’re in for a rude awakening come season two.

Actually, no clue if it’ll be rude.  Judge for yourself.  Here’s the scoop: new boss Rebecca Rand Kirshner Sinclair (mouthful!) has been brought on board to rejigger the series “significantly” for the next season.

Here’s what RRKS has to say about changes to come.  This about sums it up, methinks:

“There are opportunities to embrace California culture visually in terms of fashion and style; I want it to be more contemporary. … If Gossip Girl is about youth in New York, I want to [make 90210 more] about youth in L.A. and Beverly Hills… The show tried to be a lot of things to a lot of people in its first season. I think the center lies with the generation of kids that are in high school now. I’m not interested in casting people for stunt value (Beverly Hills, 90210 alums Jennie Garth, Shannen Doherty and Tori Spelling).”

First change?  Dustin Milligan, who plays resident hunk Ethan Ward, won’t be returning to the show.  Supposedly the character has “run its course.”  Weird, right?  I thought that was a misprint when I first saw it.

Now, I don’t know about the rest of y’all, but my first reaction to all this news was one of horror and dismay.  Not casting people for stunt value?!  BORING!!!  I love me some original-flavored storylines, even if they do come with a Shannen Doherty horseface.

My next reaction to all this news?  Awesome!  I think new lady boss sounds smart, and I’m glad she’s trying to get the show to stand on its own two feet.  I’m particularly interested in seeing these new aesthetic changes, especially if “embracing” California culture visually doesn’t mean slapping some Pacific Sunwear on the cast.  I love being visually stunned!  It’s 50% the reason I watch Gossip Girl in the first place.

No, make that 70%.  The other 30% is cuz it’s ’bout the Internet.

Dancing With the Stars RECAP - Go Home, Woz!

Posted by ERIN in Dancing With The Stars

March 31st, 2009, 01:01 PM

Well, it’s no American Idol, but Dancing with the Stars is acceptable couch potato fodder for Monday nights. The two strongest competitors by far are Melissa Rycroft (The Bachelor reject) and Gilles Marini (sexy Frenchman from the Sex and the City movie). I remember when people assumed Gilles’d be the first to go because he claimed he “couldn’t dance”. Apparently, that was French for “I’m a hustler” because he’s a total natural. Cheater, cheater, escargot eater!

Last night the couples danced the Argentine Tango or Lindy Hop. Videos and thoughts of the performances ahead:

David Alan Grier and Kym Johnson — Lindy Hop (Video): Actor/comedian David Alan Grier doesn’t have me fooled. Behind that guarded wall of sarcasm is a man who really cares about winning and DAAHNCE. He’s bitter by day, but Kevin Bacon Footloose dancing in a warehouse by night. Maybe he doesn’t have the charisma/fans to win, but I see you, David. I see you. Have fun, man!

lil kim derek hough dancing with the stars argentine tangoLil Kim and Derek Hough — Argentine Tango (Video): Rapper/jailbird Lil Kim is a delight. Her plastic surgery’s taking her face down LaToya Jackson territory, but hey - she’s having a good time with Derek and takes the challenge seriously, so respect. Kim deserves to be in the top 5 for sure.

Chuck Wicks and Julianne Hough — Lindy Hop (Video): This couple is a couple of yawns. Julianne’s a dancer-turned country singer teaching her boyfriend Chuck to become a country singer-turned-dancer. It’s all just too much stunt casting for me and Chuck is too insecure about looking stupid/”unmanly”. If dudes’ dude Steve-O can (barely) do it, why can’t you, UpChuck?

Lawrence Taylor and Edyta Sliwinska — Argentine Tango (Video): Lawrence is a hulking bore compared to past NFL pros, but luckily he has hottie for shottie Edyta dancing, splitting, hair-swinging and high-kicking circles around him. Methinks it’s juuust enough to distract the judges for a few weeks longer.

Ty Murray and Chelsie Hightower — Lindy Hop (Video): Aw, I like rodeo king Ty Murray! He’s a stiff, stocky little guy but has improved sooo much from Week 1. Seems like his wifey Jewel dragged him on the show for a “bonding experience,” but now that she’s not competing, he can soar on his own. PS - Pro dancer Chelsie Hightower is way more likable on DWTS than when she was on So You Think You Can Dance. I thought she was a snoot on SYTYCD but turns out she’s like a giggly, ballroom dancing Stephanie Tanner look-alike.

Steve Wozniak and Karina Smirnoff — Argentine Tango (Video): OK, time to go home, Woz. You’ve made your point: you’re a nerd who’s having fun - but ya stank at dancing and I’m over you. Plus, Steve Guttenberg filled the Steve-who-can’t-dance-but-loves-being-part-of-the-show! role better in season 6. Karina should also try to lighten up versus look miserable because the show put her in a death sentence partnership. You’re still gettin paid publicity, right girl? Suck it up!

holly madison falling off stool dancing witht he stars tangoMelissa Rycroft and Tony Dovolani — Lindy Hop (Video): I like Melissa even though she’s practically a pro with her dance/cheerleading experience. I mean, she was doing the same flips that pro-Chelsie Hightower did with Ty Murray. This duo gets props for scaring the bajeezus out of me on the last flip because I was sure Melissa was plummeting head-first into the ballroom floor. Plus, I love to see how creative the DWTS costume department can get with bejeweling over Mel’s tramp stamp tattoo on her back. Does she remind anyone else of a brunette Jessica Simpson minus the stupid comments? She may suffer from frontrunner backlash lest America forget that the Bachelor dumped her on national television! Pity her and vote.

Holly Madison and Dmitry Chaplin — Argentine Tango (Video): That was hard to watch. Poor vapid Holly nearly fell off their prop stool in the beginning and it was downhill from there. She really does try though, but I don’t think America wants to root for a Playboy gold digger and she’s not winning points by just ditzily giggling through a clenched smile all the time. Dance for your life tonight, Holly.

Steve-O and Lacey Schwimmer — Lindy Hop (Video): Steve-O’s kinda cute with longer hair– did I just say that? But he’s another blah dancer and lost the rhythm a few times. There are some you can teach and some you can’t. Good effort, Steve-O but I don’t want to see you in the finals.

Gilles Marini and Cheryl Burke — Argentine Tango (Video): Gilles is good, really good. Between Gilles’ smoldering looks and Cheryl’s flingy hips and snappy bob haircut, these two are always on fire. And isn’t he just charming - the kinda guy you’d take home to your mama - until your mama realized he was the guy showing his butts cheeks for money on the big screen? Final two for Gilles, si vous plait!

Shawn Johnson and Mark Ballas — Lindy Hop (Video): I can’t get over something about this gymnast. I guess Shawn’s body type is what I’d call “thick”. There I said it. Real meaty-like. Which is fine and to be expected when you’re a solid mass of muscle and have to squeeze into those skimpy ballroom dresses. She’s supposed to be a frontrunner but doesn’t really “perform” the dances well. I mean she can hit the steps (often ending moves in the gymnast salute pose), but there’s not a lot of emotion behind it. Plus, haven’t I seen Mark do this 1950’s nerd character before?

shawn johnson mark ballas lindy hop dancing with the stars Buddy Holly is that you?  kristi yamaguchi mark ballas jive

Ah yes, Mark played this character during the Jive with my fave contestant evs, Kristi Yamaguchi (season 6 winner). Let’s remember that finer time, shall we?

It’s a double elimination this week! Time for the Woz and Holly Madison to head home. PLEASE, at least the Woz for god’s sake!

The Case of the Super Sweet 16 & the Snoozy Serena

Posted by KAT in Gossip Girl

March 31st, 2009, 11:46 AM

Gossip Girl, Gossip Girl, Gossip Girl!  Why does everyone / no one watch this show?  Why does it alternately excite me beyond belief and bore me to tears?

Gossip Girl: Jenny HumphreyOh, who cares.  Stop being a jerk and watch this show already.  You shouldn’t be going out on a Monday night, anyway.

On with the show!  So yesterday was Li’l J’s bday - her sweet 16!  The van der Woodsens had a big ole Sweet Sixteen planned out for her (in THIS economy!), which she canceled in favor of chili and board games.  Li’l J’s not much into socializin’ these days, on account of everyone in New York apparently sucks.

But then!  Serena runs into some thirty-two-year-old teenager named Poppy Lifton who makes her feel like her life’s a snooze.  NEWS FLASH!  Serena’s duller than dirt!  Sheesh.  I coulda told you that and saved you the trouble of dating ugly dudes, S.

So yeah.  Serena decides to throw Li’l J a fabulous society party anyway, and she does - mostly to prove that she’s still good at partying.  Li’l J is non-plussed by the apparent disregard for her preference and texts Gossip Girl to get all the unsavory types to come.  The unsavories show up and start grossing everyone out by acting like real teenagers: dancin’, pukin’, ragin’, ravagin’.  The savory types flip out, at which point I’m thinking, HELLO, YOU GUYS!  Haven’t you seen Can’t Hardly Wait?  Take a chill pill, losers.

Blah blah, that ends, Serena decides she’s still boring and flies off to Spain with Poppy and Poppy’s bf thinks her name’s Savannah, which indicates someone’ll probably OD or get raped or something (don’t ask me how I know! I’m just really good at this stuff, okay?).

Meanwhile!  Blair’s courting Nate and Chuck and Vanessa know it and it turns out Nate’s into it.  Yadda yadda Vanessa ends up doin’ it with Chuck.  Don’t ask me how they finagled that switcheroo, it only halfway made sense at the time.

Oh, there was this whole plotline where Rufus almost sold the loft to pay for school, but who cares.  ALSO! Dan receives a fan letter from some kid who read his story in New York Magazine and gives him a call back.  Turns out the fan is lovechild!!!  Scott!!  Hey!  Remember that plotline?  It’s back!!!

So that’s that.  At one point, Li’l J makes a reference to Hulu on account of everyone involved with Gossip Girl is super butthurt that tons of people watch Gossip Girl online and the Nielsens don’t care.  Problem with the ref is, you can’t watch Gossip Girl on Hulu.  Pay a visit to blinkx Remote, sweetheart.

That Li’l J’s always namedropping the wrong thing.   xoxo!

Fat Chicks Welcome on FOX’s More To Love

Posted by KAT in More to Love, The Bachelor, The Biggest Loser

March 30th, 2009, 04:27 PM

Far Side: Lost PuppyFirst America’s Next Top Shorties and now THIS!

Why I oughta!  FOX exec Mike Darnell is teaming up with Mike Fleiss, executive producer of The Bachelor, to bring us, the drooling masses, More to Love, a new dating-competition series “for the rest of us.”

Think The Bachelor meets The Biggest Loser, except no one intends to lose any weight.  The series casts a grip of “curvy women” who will compete for the affections of one man, being described as both a “Kevin James type,” and “a single guy with a big waist and an even bigger heart.”

THIS is what the two geniuses behind this show look like, in case you were wondering.  And here is what they say about their show:

“For six years it’s been skinny-minis and good-looking bachelors, and that’s not what the dating world looks like. Why don’t real women — the women who watch these shows, for the most part — have a chance to find love too?”

HEY!  Quit condescending!  You!  Stop!  You think us plebeians just sit around all day on thrones of bacon, drinking solid-chocolate goblets full of lard, wishing love would find us?

Now, I appreciate the sentiment, Mikes, but COME ON!  Though I suppose we can all agree that some women have curves, I’m not sure the world’s dating pool (and the world’s dating shows!) should be segregated into buckets of “people” and “fat people.”


Even as an attractive lady who could win any season of The Bachelor wearing a mask and a fat suit and possibly one of those chill vocoder devices Stephen Hawking uses, I’m annoyed.  I can see the exploitation already!

So many fat puns and cottage cheese thigh-related tears.  Ugh.

No one will watch this show, FOX, you big fatty.  Quit it.

The Donald Fires The Dennis on Celebrity Apprentice!

Posted by KAT in Celebrity Apprentice

March 30th, 2009, 03:01 PM

Celebrity Apprentice: Dennis RodmanOh, hum.  Did you catch last night’s Celebrity Apprentice?

Yesterday’s episode followed teams KOTU and Athena as they ran Loews Regency hotel in Manhattan, acting as concierge, room service, and housekeeping for a bunch of bummed out people who probably wanted a nice vacation with peace and quiet and some quality service.  Sheesh.

The dude’s team put Dennis Rodman in charge, who proceeded to get wasted and talk strip clubs with the hotel’s guests.  Not surprisingly, Rodman was up on the chopping block in the boardroom, where the gang basically staged an intervention, accusing the Rodster of being an alcoholic.  Which he didn’t deny.

The Donald fired him on the spot!  Later, drunky!  Drinks are on YOU!

Oy.  So what you’re telling me, The Donald, is that you’re adding Dennis Rodman’s name to the FIRED list?  A list that now also includes Andrew Dice Clay, Tom Green, Scott Hamilton, and a Deal or No Deal model?  You’re gonna fire any hint of celebrity off your show and you expect me to keep watching?

Listen, Joan Rivers gets fired and we’re THROUGH.  All of a sudden I’m s’posed to watch bunch of minor celebs with bad ideas trying to prove they’re good at a thing?  I already watched that show the first time it was on, back when it was called The City.


Ugh.  Whatever, guys.  I don’t have time for this brand of malarky.  Watch Week 5 of Season 8 of Celebrity Apprentice if you want to see what I’m talkin’ ’bout.

Away We Go to The Office Saturday Night, Live

Posted by KAT in Saturday Night Live, The Office

March 27th, 2009, 04:39 PM

Away We Go: John Krasinski & Maya RudolphWhooopdeee!  Woo! Friday!

I just came across this here precious little upcoming movie, Away We Go.  It stars The Office’s John Krasinski and Saturday Night Live’s Maya Rudolph and it’s got precious quirkfest with an indie rock soundtrack written all over it.

Manic dream girl and bookish shy guy unite!  Slap those two on a whimsical movie poster, I’m DONE!

Let’s face it people, this is exactly the sort of thing I’m a sucker for.  I don’t like myself for it or anything, but you got another thing coming if you think I’m apologizin’.  I want me some non-sequitors and I want them now!

The script is by literary supercouple Dave Eggers and Vendela Vida.  Director is Sam Mendes, who most recently did Revolutionary Road, and American Beauty a bit before that.

I like Dave and Vendela; I’m indifferent to Sam.  And I really want John and Maya to do well in life.  The transition from TV to film can be tough, TRUST ME.  JK, don’t trust me.  I have no clue.  Anyway, I wish them well.  We’ll see how that goes.

Watch the trailer and, go ahead, judge me for wanting to see it.  And please, feel free to enjoy it ironically:

It’s gonna be terrible and I’m gonna love every minute!

Oh GOD, please let there be a Catherine Keener cameo in this one!

Get Lost: Babies Havin’ Babies

Posted by KAT in Lost, Muppet Babies

March 27th, 2009, 10:22 AM

Happy Friday, everybody!  Today, a special treat for Lost fans, who have been sadly underrepresented on this here blog.  Savor this minute:

SUCKERS!  Bet you didn’t think I’d Muppet Babies ya this early in the day.

A special thanks goes out to the fine folks at BuzzFeed who provide me with such nuggets of brilliance day in and day out.  Without you, I would have never have come across Dog Milking A Goat.

Stalking Shawn Johnson Not Tolerated

Posted by ERIN in Dancing With The Stars

March 26th, 2009, 05:07 PM

shawn johnson mark ballas dancing with the starsSooo, how bout them Shawn Johnson stalkers? A loony man was hovering around the Dancing With the Stars studio to get his dirty mitts on gymnast Shawn Johnson’s meaty, stout bod. Luckily, he was caught before he even had a chance to breathe in the spray-tan fumes.

A man who police say had guns in his car when he tried to jump a security fence to meet “Dancing With the Stars” contestant Shawn Johnson has pleaded not guilty to stalking charges.

Robert O’Ryan was arrested Tuesday at the studio where the ABC show is produced. Authorities say they found loaded guns, duct tape and love letters in the car he drove from Florida to meet Johnson, a 17-year-old Olympic gymnast.

O’Ryan was arraigned Thursday in Los Angeles Superior Court, where a public defender represented him. Prosecutors charged the 34-year-old with one felony count of stalking and two misdemeanor counts of carrying a loaded gun in a vehicle.

His bail was also raised from $35,000 to $220,000.

(source: Associated Press)

Mamma Mia! It’s-a Me, Peter Griffin! Let’s-a Go!

Posted by KAT in Family Guy, Gossip Girl, The Golden Girls

March 26th, 2009, 04:13 PM


Peter Griffin from Family Guy playing Super Mario!

A 2D fighting game engine called MUGEN lets you play video games using the character of your choice.  Sshhh shh!  Don’t make me explain it any more than that.  Ssshhhhh.

What person, real or fictional, dead or alive, would YOU choose to represent you in the virtual world?

. . .

Oh, cool, good answer!

Who would I pick, you ask?  Well, let me stop you right there and tell you no, you’re wrong, it’s NOT Blair from Gossip Girl, though that’s a great guess.  I’d actually have to go with Sophia from The Golden Girls, mostly because I’d like to see her whack things with her bamboo handbag in two dimensions.

American Idol recap: Top 10 Head to Motown

Posted by ERIN in American Idol

March 26th, 2009, 01:10 PM

Paula Abdul mustache American IdolLuckily, I missed last week’s Grand Ole Opry night on American Idol, but holla that they took it to Motown this week! I’m allll over those tunes. Paula was wearing some 13-year-old girl’s party dress, but WHOA, she was playful, coherent and made really articulate comments! Is she feeling pressured to flaunt her musical expertise now that Kara Dioguardi’s in the house? Onto the recaps!

Matt Giraud - Let’s Get It On: I will never be into this Poor Man’s Justin Timberlake with his frowny pan face - sorry America. Hey, did Matt always have that mole in the middle of his forehead (PIC), or was it a zit? I just know that I didn’t wanna get it on with him because all I could focus on was the “MOLE, bloody mole!”

Kris Allen - How Sweet It Is: Why does Simon thinks Kris needs to believe in himself *more* when Kris is already wafting conceit all the way through mah TV set? I know little girls must heart him and his guitar, but I can’t handle his ‘tude and weird constipated, no-upper-lip, monkey singing-out-the-side-of-his-mouth faces. I’m such a jerk!

Scott MacIntyre - You Can’t Hurry Love: Wow, American Idol, REALLY? You had to dress the BLIND GUY in tight pink pants, a paisley silk shirt and pinstriped blazer? FTW!  Fashion aside, I’m sorry, but Scott’s gotta go asap. He’s a sweet, dorky goofball, but he’s not a powerful singer and has been my Captain of the Snooze Cruise for weeks!

Michael Sarver American Idol MotownMegan Joy - For Once in My Life: When did Megan Joy Corkrey become Megan Joy? Is Kara already dispensing advice on how Megan can become a “package artist”? As much as I despise Megan’s spastic dancing, her warble is always interesting to hear. Sadly, she was a train wreck with the speed of that song. It would’ve been much better if she’d slowed the pace and just sang with the piano. One of the worst of the night, but sheesh if she ain’t got cheekbones for days.

Anoop Desai - Oooo Baby Baby - Anoop didn’t really HIT the high notes, but I thought he had great control and was so sweet with his lil doe eyes. HowEVS, I did get a smidge distracted by his sweaty upper-lip. Like, to the point where I was fantasizing about him casually wiping it away while he sang. Too mucha da sweaty!

Michael Sarver - Ain’t Too Proud to Beg: Michael, d’ain’t be too proud to beg everyone you know in America to vote for you after that fiasco. “Ain’t Too Proud to Beg” is one of the best songs ever and he didn’t pay it justice. It’s like he has all of this energy/emotion trapped inside, but he’s too pent-up to just LET LOOSE and go crazy. Everything is held back or restrained: his stiff, jerky dance moves, his tight mouth shapes…let it out, Michael! On another note, I realized that he has a lion face like Vincent from the 1980’s Beauty and the Beast TV series (PIC).

Lil Rounds - Heatwave: Wow, another one of my fave Motown jams ruined. Lil just shouted it to death - she was rushed, winded, PLUS she didn’t go for the high notes on “HeatwaaAAave!” and isn’t that the best part of the song? Boo…I’m still not a Lil fan. She can belt, but doesn’t emotionally connect to the songs, and that’s where she loses me in the heart parts. Give me dowdy-but-amazing Melinda Doolittle from season 6 any day over Lil. She felt it, yes she did.

adam lambert american idol motown nightAdam Lambert - Tracks of My Tears: First, I will try to avoid jokes about the Tracks of Acne on his smug mug (oops, too late), but dammit, Adam, you’re gonna win this thing, aren’t you? Even though he can be annoying and pompous as all sin, he has pretty good intuition on how to wow the teenyboppers. Blast.

Danny Gokey - Get Ready: Note to Michael Sarver, if you really want to “take it to church”, ask Danny for tips. He has much better energy than you for these sorts of songs. Although, he did look like a moron when he’d march and dance with the back-up singers. Let’s leave the Tina Turner-ing to Tina Tuner, kay? I found Danny unusually, pleasantly quiet last night. He just kept making that weird squinty-eyed smile at the judges like an anime character (PIC).

Allison Iraheta - Papa Was A Rolling Stone: I’m biased. Allison has been my fave since she wailed “Alone” by Heart, so I worry about the fact that she was in the bottom 3 last week. It doesn’t help that American Idol is hellbent on using weird camera angles and poorly-timed cut-aways when she sings. Or that Simon was too busy drawing a crayon mustache on Paula (see top photo) during their critiques of her performance. But Allison smashed it last night. Those final notes? Whoo-ee! I’d love to see her in a showdown against Adam in the final 2. Don’t think she can win, but I hope she pulls a Clay Aiken (*gag*) or Katherine McPhee and still gets a record deal in the end.

Scott, Michael and Megan were the bottom 3 performers. Scott should leave tonight, but as we know, America can be thick as bricks. Find out who goes home tonight and what group song they’ll butcher next tonight at 9pm on FOX!

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