Luckily, I missed last week’s Grand Ole Opry night on American Idol, but holla that they took it to Motown this week! I’m allll over those tunes. Paula was wearing some 13-year-old girl’s party dress, but WHOA, she was playful, coherent and made really articulate comments! Is she feeling pressured to flaunt her musical expertise now that Kara Dioguardi’s in the house? Onto the recaps!
Matt Giraud - Let’s Get It On: I will never be into this Poor Man’s Justin Timberlake with his frowny pan face - sorry America. Hey, did Matt always have that mole in the middle of his forehead (PIC), or was it a zit? I just know that I didn’t wanna get it on with him because all I could focus on was the “MOLE, bloody mole!”
Kris Allen - How Sweet It Is: Why does Simon thinks Kris needs to believe in himself *more* when Kris is already wafting conceit all the way through mah TV set? I know little girls must heart him and his guitar, but I can’t handle his ‘tude and weird constipated, no-upper-lip, monkey singing-out-the-side-of-his-mouth faces. I’m such a jerk!
Scott MacIntyre - You Can’t Hurry Love: Wow, American Idol, REALLY? You had to dress the BLIND GUY in tight pink pants, a paisley silk shirt and pinstriped blazer? FTW! Fashion aside, I’m sorry, but Scott’s gotta go asap. He’s a sweet, dorky goofball, but he’s not a powerful singer and has been my Captain of the Snooze Cruise for weeks!
Megan Joy - For Once in My Life: When did Megan Joy Corkrey become Megan Joy? Is Kara already dispensing advice on how Megan can become a “package artist”? As much as I despise Megan’s spastic dancing, her warble is always interesting to hear. Sadly, she was a train wreck with the speed of that song. It would’ve been much better if she’d slowed the pace and just sang with the piano. One of the worst of the night, but sheesh if she ain’t got cheekbones for days.
Anoop Desai - Oooo Baby Baby - Anoop didn’t really HIT the high notes, but I thought he had great control and was so sweet with his lil doe eyes. HowEVS, I did get a smidge distracted by his sweaty upper-lip. Like, to the point where I was fantasizing about him casually wiping it away while he sang. Too mucha da sweaty!
Michael Sarver - Ain’t Too Proud to Beg: Michael, d’ain’t be too proud to beg everyone you know in America to vote for you after that fiasco. “Ain’t Too Proud to Beg” is one of the best songs ever and he didn’t pay it justice. It’s like he has all of this energy/emotion trapped inside, but he’s too pent-up to just LET LOOSE and go crazy. Everything is held back or restrained: his stiff, jerky dance moves, his tight mouth shapes…let it out, Michael! On another note, I realized that he has a lion face like Vincent from the 1980’s Beauty and the Beast TV series (PIC).
Lil Rounds - Heatwave: Wow, another one of my fave Motown jams ruined. Lil just shouted it to death - she was rushed, winded, PLUS she didn’t go for the high notes on “HeatwaaAAave!” and isn’t that the best part of the song? Boo…I’m still not a Lil fan. She can belt, but doesn’t emotionally connect to the songs, and that’s where she loses me in the heart parts. Give me dowdy-but-amazing Melinda Doolittle from season 6 any day over Lil. She felt it, yes she did.
Adam Lambert - Tracks of My Tears: First, I will try to avoid jokes about the Tracks of Acne on his smug mug (oops, too late), but dammit, Adam, you’re gonna win this thing, aren’t you? Even though he can be annoying and pompous as all sin, he has pretty good intuition on how to wow the teenyboppers. Blast.
Danny Gokey - Get Ready: Note to Michael Sarver, if you really want to “take it to church”, ask Danny for tips. He has much better energy than you for these sorts of songs. Although, he did look like a moron when he’d march and dance with the back-up singers. Let’s leave the Tina Turner-ing to Tina Tuner, kay? I found Danny unusually, pleasantly quiet last night. He just kept making that weird squinty-eyed smile at the judges like an anime character (PIC).
Allison Iraheta - Papa Was A Rolling Stone: I’m biased. Allison has been my fave since she wailed “Alone” by Heart, so I worry about the fact that she was in the bottom 3 last week. It doesn’t help that American Idol is hellbent on using weird camera angles and poorly-timed cut-aways when she sings. Or that Simon was too busy drawing a crayon mustache on Paula (see top photo) during their critiques of her performance. But Allison smashed it last night. Those final notes? Whoo-ee! I’d love to see her in a showdown against Adam in the final 2. Don’t think she can win, but I hope she pulls a Clay Aiken (*gag*) or Katherine McPhee and still gets a record deal in the end.
Scott, Michael and Megan were the bottom 3 performers. Scott should leave tonight, but as we know, America can be thick as bricks. Find out who goes home tonight and what group song they’ll butcher next tonight at 9pm on FOX!