Get on the Rock of Love Bus!
Posted by KAT in Rock of Love, Rock of Love 2, Rock of Love BusJanuary 12th, 2009, 05:30 PM
Oh my gosh. I’ve been trying to put my feelings for the VH1 Rock of Love reality series into words, but I JUST CAN’T!
Question: what does falling in love feel like to YOU?
Ahem. So if you’re totally dumb and don’t know, former Poison frontman Bret Michaels has failed TWICE at making a tatted-up and implanted-out skank his perma-groupie with the two previous Rock of Love shows. The season 1 & 2 ladies just couldn’t hang with his rock and roll lifestyle!
Listen, you guys. I’ve got a plan. We need to take these ladies on the road and on tour to see if they can hang with the hard-boozin, bimbo-dodging backstage world of bouncers and forehead bottle-smashing. With this, we bring you: Rock of Love Bus!!!
That’s Rock of Love [space] Bus AND Rock of [space] Love Bus, if you ask me. BRILLZ!
Ha. Part of why I like this show is, Bret attempts to represent his world as what it might have been like back in the late ’80s, back when babes jumped on stage and slithered around in red leather mini-dresses with pythons around their necks, holding key-tars. In reality, he’s probs just performing for fat people at State Fairs and may not know about the Internet. It’s like one big non-stop reverie with this guy!
On to the show! Most seasons have a couple of really awesome broads who’re so dumb, you think they’re probs secret geniuses creating outlandish characters (like Tracy Morgan, obv). This season is no different.
Howevs, this season’s standout, for me at least, is Brittaney (sic). This one’s my absolute fave. Reasons I love Brittaney:
- Episode 1, Bret realizes he recognizes Brittaney from somewhere. Oh, right, Brittaney used to be a porn star! Good lookin’ out, Bret.
- Everything makes Brittaney cry, because Brittaney is IN LOVE WITH BRET!!! and DEEPER THAN YOU!!! and BEING VICTIMIZED!!! and VERY INSECURE!!! Peep this amazing screencap from last night’s ep that says it all:
Heh.
- Brittaney realizes she isn’t getting enough ‘facetime’ with Bret, so she straps on a bikini and gives him a lap dance that’d basically be TMI for even her OB/GYN.
- Brittaney gets pissed she doesn’t win some trivia contest and thus screams at winner Natasha for only getting the prize cuz she’s black, which was totally kosher for her to say cuz her grandfather is “a beautiful black man.” That’s like the OPPOSITE of racist, you guys. I bet she even lets gramps drink from the same water fountain as her!
Heart this trainwreck! Brittaney’s like Jen Aniston, except really fun to have around. What a hot mess, as Erin would say!
Le sigh. I really do recommend people of every age, sex, race, religious denomination, and political affiliation watch Rock of Love Bus. Heck, invite your beautiful black grandfather to watch with you! It’s truly a feast for the senses.
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