The buzz from the bees is uber-Playmate and Baywatch babe, Pamela Anderson, has signed on to be in next season’s Dancing With the Stars!
Wha? DWTS will feature an actual celebrity? Unbelievable! This could be a big ratings pull for ABC - women will tune in to hate on her, and men will tune in because, hell-ooo, it’ll be a chance to see Pam Anderson shake her spray-tanned bon-bons in dental floss-thin, bedazzled ballroom dresses.
Pam has always been game to poke fun at herself and conservative viewers may be surprised to find that she’s pretty likable. Who knows, maybe I’ll root for her to win the Mirrorball Trophy… I mean if crassy rapper-turned-jailbird-turned-dedicated ballroom dancer, Lil Kim, could win me over in Season 8, why not Pam Anderson?
Lost’s final season premiered this week and I cannot escape from its frothy-mouthed fans giddily telling me the finale will be an EPIC conclusion that finally explains the mysterious island of wackadoodle happenings and brain-cramping corkscrew twists in time and space.
Okay, okay! I believe you guys, there’s no need to stand so (don’t stand so) close to me with the emphatic gesturing and theories of “What the eff is going on.” Yes, Lost sounds INCREDIBLE and BRILLIANT - I just have no idea what you’re raving about and it sounds like gobbledygook.
I’m not alone, The Onion released an excellent “news piece” the other day:
Final Season of LostPromises to Make Fans More Annoying Than Ever
Season 9 of American Idolhasn’t impressed so far. The city auditions have dragged on for weeks and the content? Less than impressive. Why, oh why are we wasting time on obnoxious contestants that act idiotic for the sake of getting on-camera, or drawn-out montages of rejected contestants crying in the arms of their loved ones? How about airing more auditions of the folks that are winning the golden tickets rather than lumping them together in a 5 second shot yelling, “WE’RE GOING TO HOLLYWOOOD! WOOOOO!!” and running off-camera?
Well, at least we’ve reached our final audition city: Denver, Colorado *hallelujah*! We can make it, guys. Just one more week ’til we see the talent during Hollywood Week (along with Paula Abdul upgrade: Ellen Degeneres).
Audition recaps below and video clips (thanks to MJ):
Mark Labriola – 28 – Aurora, CO – “Tempted” By Squeeze: Mark’s a Jack Black look-a-like and has a similar smart-arse ‘tude… until he mentions that as a child, his mom kidnapped him from his Dad and they were on the run for years. Lots of drama in his life but now he’s grown up, takes care of his own son, and impresses the judges with “Tempted”. Golden ticket. – VIDEO
Mario Galvan - 25 – Denver, CO – “Jailhouse Rock” by Elvis Presley: Mario is a Nicotine Addictions Counselor and shouts his way through “Jailhouse Rock”. And that would be a “No”. – VIDEO
Kimberly Kerbow – 24 – Marina Del Rey, CA – “I am” by Ingrid Michaelson: Kimberly has a 5 year-old daughter who hams it up in front of the camera. Like daughter, like mother: Kimberly can sing, but goes into full-on flirtation/mugging mode which doesn’t feel genuine to me, but works on Simon. She’s also donning a noticeable wig that never gets explained. Makes it to Hollywood. – VIDEO
Danelle Hayes – 24 – Seattle, WA – “I’m The Only One” by Melissa Etheridge: Danelle is a karaoke bar hostess and has a 3 year-old son (lots of young parents on this episode). She cries to the judges about her struggle to become a singer and they feel for her. She has a raspy voice and the judges want to give her a chance so they can save her broken soul. Could she win over Idol viewers though with her down-in-the-dumps vibe? I’m not completely sure… – VIDEO
Casey James – 27 – Fort Worth, TX - “Slow Dancing in a Burning Room” by John Mayer: Casey was in a terrible motorcycle accident at 21. He worked through the pain to play the guitar and sing again. He sort of rushes through “Slow Dancing in a Burning Room” (which is one of my favorite mopey melodies) and Simon thinks he sucks. The lady judges, however, disagree and think Casey just needs to work on his image and personality. Then Kara and Randy(!) make him take off his shirt and it starts to feel like a creepy sexual harassment TV movie. Simon is equally grossed out, but the other three judges overrule him and let Casey through. He does have a dreamy look, he just needs to step it up with the “star power”, as Randy said. – VIDEO
Torri Kelly – 16 – Canyon Lake, CA – “Gravity” by John Mayer: Torri looks a lot older than 16… Anyway, she brings in Hope, a cute little family friend who draws (or “drawrs” as the Brits say) a picture of each judge. Pretty freaking adorable, and the pleased reaction is the most personality I’ve seen out of guest judge Victoria Beckham all episode. Torri sings fine, but Simon thinks she’s annoying. Everyone else loves her sunny personality and look (oh and her voice is decent enough), so she gets 3 out of 4 votes. On to Hollywood. – VIDEO
Austin Paul – 22 - Washington, DC - “Bigger Than My Body” by John Mayer: What is this? THREE John Mayer songs in a row? Meh! Austin’s just yer average football player music major who dances like a spazz. He’s extremely confident that he’s got what it takes to be marketed as a “singer who also happens to be a football player” but the judges disagree. His voice isn’t perfect (”annoying”, according to Simon) and his arrogance is too stanky for the panel. They (especially Kara) want to humble him and give him a unanimous Nooooo. – VIDEO
Kenny Everett – 24 – Durham, NC – “Without You” by Mary J. Blige: Oh wow, this was a bad audition, but at least it was actually amusing. Kenny claims to be the male Mary J. Blige, but yeah, he’s just balls-out awful. He does these ridiculous runs that go on forever and make your ears bleed. He’s forced to leave. – VIDEO
Nicci Nix – 22 – Florence, Italy – “Something Kind of Oooh” by Girls Aloud: Aw, I like Nicci. She’sa very cute gal from Florence with a helium-y speaking voice, but her singing voice is much more tolerable. She chose a stupid pop song, but managed to give it energy. The judges love her and send her through. – VIDEO
Haeley Vaughn – 16 – Fort Collins, CO – “Last Name” by Carrie Underwood: Haeley was a miracle premie baby, only 2 lbs when she was born. She’s been struggling through life ever since, but tries to get through it all with a positive attitude. Her father passed away when she was just 10, which was very difficult for her - he used to sing to her and influenced her own voice. Haeley wants to become the first black pop country singer. While Kara thinks she should’ve lowered her register, the judges are all attracted to her solid voice and bubbly personality. They even let her bring in her sister and mother (who are big fans) before announcing a unanimous “YES!”. Haeley to Hollywood. – VIDEO
Tonight is an American Idol “Best of the Rest” show - the last pre-Hollywood episode, woohoo! I don’t have any clear favorites yet, so I’m hoping someone will win over my heart and ears next week. Have you spotted any front-runners?
Alright y’all, the Conan O’Brien vs. Jay Leno feud has finally simmered down with both late night hosts licking their wounds (and rolling in their millions). In the end, Conan may have been booted from The Tonight Show With Conan O’Brien, but he won over a majority of supporters - seems like everyone’s on Team Coco.
In the past month, we’ve seen folks support Conan in a hundred different ways: on T-shirts, in blogs, Facebook fan pages, etc. But creating a portrait to O’Brien made entirely from Cheetos?? Delicious!
Artwork made entirely with Cheetos (and a little glue). Over 50 bags of different flavors used to sort different colors, sizes, and shapes. Nearly 2,000 individual Cheetos are used to create the portrait, all held into place with a little glue and varnish.
Gotta admit: last night’s Grammy Awards kept me anchored-and-grooving on the sofa for over three hours. Okay, they definitely hacked away the actual awards content (sorry Jazz and Classical categories!), but the performances were stellar with very few exceptions (looking at you, Taylor Swift).
Miss the show? See the winners below and catch highlight performances (from Rickey and MrWorldPremiere):
Crazy ol’ Lady Gaga and crazy ol’ Sir Elton John covered Gaga’s “Speechless” and John’s “Your Song” on dueling pianos. Gaga’s silly, but girl has talent. - VIDEO
Green Day joined with the cast oftheAmerican Idiot musical to wail and jam to their hit “21 Guns”. - VIDEO
Beyonce made history by taking home six awards last night - go, B!Still going strong, her mash-up of “If I Were A Boy” and Alanis Morissette’s “You Oughta Know” was soul-beltingly, hair-whippingly fierce. - VIDEO
Pink (or is it still P!nk?) needs to join Cirque Du Soleil after another perfectly sung, aerial acrobatic number for her tune “Glitter In the Air”. - VIDEO
The Black Eyed Peas kept the energy up with “Imma Be” and “I Gotta Feeling”. - VIDEO
Country duo Lady Antebellum did a heartfelt rendition of their balladic ode to drunk dialing: “Need You Now.” - VIDEO
In a random but “GET ON YOUR FEET!” number, Jamie Foxx auto-tuned, T-Pain rapped, Doug E. Fresh beatboxed and Slash shredded the “November Rain” guitar solo for “Blame It (on the Alcohol)”. - VIDEO
The country group, The Zac Brown Band, gave me absolute goosebumps with their opening of “America the Beautiful”. Then, Leon Russell and his beard rolled out to accompany them for ”Dixie Lullaby” and ”Southern Fried”. - VIDEO
The night hit the first (and worst) low point of the evening when award magnet, Taylor Swift, got on stage to sing. I love “You Belong With Me”, but literally every time I see this girl perform, she’s off-key. Unfortunately, last night was no exception. First, she messed up her own song, “Today Was a Fairytale,” and then - blasphemy of all blasphemies - her surprise collaborator was… Stevie Nicks of Fleetwood Mac! WTF? The legend herself had to endure Taylor wonking up the Mac classic “Rhiannon” and then Nicks had to play back-up tambourine (bah!) for their hokey duet of “You Belong With Me”. …Yeah, cuz when we think of “pop ditties about high school teen crushes”, we immediately think of Stevie Nicks. Both women deserved a different singing partner. So disappointing. - VIDEO
Next came the 3-D tribute to Michael Jackson, featuring Celine Dion, Usher, Jennifer Hudson, Smokey Robinson and Carrie Underwood. The gang gave a heartfelt rendition of MJ’s “Earth Song” (his vocals were also incorporated in the mix) but without the 3-D glasses, everything came out red/blue blurry. - VIDEO
Bon Jovi gave his first Grammy performance, starting with “We Weren’t Born to Follow” before dueting with Sugarland singer Jennifer Nettles (love her!) for “Who Says You Can’t Go Home”. Then, we learned that America had voted for Bon Jovi to sing *drumroll* …duh! Their anthem: “Livin’ On a Prayer” - woot woot! - VIDEO
In support of Haiti, Andrea Bocelli began with a beautiful, Italian rendition of “Bridge Over Troubled Water” before welcoming Mary J. Blige for a powerhouse, power-lunged duet. Those two got some PIPES. - VIDEO
The Dave Matthews Band sang “You and Me”, backed by an orchestra of talented high school musicians. - VIDEO
Maxwell brought out the falsetto for “Pretty Wings” and then Ms. Roberta Flack came aboard to sing “Where is the Love?”. - VIDEO
Guitar Hero Jeff Beck and singer Imelda May took on “How High the Moon.” - VIDEO
The ceremony’s final performance came from Lil Wayne, Eminem, Drake and Travis Barker (on the drums). CBS censored a bunch of the lyrics, but the guys had a blast on-stage. - VIDEO
Good times. List of winners below, and vote for your favorite performance of the evening!
Album Of The Year I Am…Sasha Fierce, Beyoncé The E.N.D., The Black Eyed Peas The Fame, Lady Gaga Big Whiskey And The GrooGrux King, Dave Matthews Band WINNER: Fearless, Taylor Swift
Best Female Pop Vocal “Hometown Glory,” Adele WINNER: “Halo,” Beyonce
“Hot N Cold,” Katy Perry
“Sober,” Pink
“You Belong With Me,” Taylor Swift
Best Rap/Sung Collaboration “Ego,” Beyonce and Kanye West
“Knock You Down,” Keri Hilson, Kanye West, Ne-Yo WINNER: “Run This Town,” Jay-Z, Kanye West, and Rihanna “I’m on a Boat,” The Lonely Island and T-Pain
“Dead and Gone,” T.I. and Justin Timberlake
Best Rock Album Black Ice, AC/DC Live From Madison Square Garden, Eric Clapton & Steve Winwood WINNER:21st Century Breakdown, Green Day Big Whiskey And The GrooGrux King, Dave Matthews Band No Line On The Horizon, U2
Best Pop Vocal Album WINNER: The E.N.D., The Black Eyed Peas Breakthrough, Colbie Caillat
All I Ever Wanted, Kelly Clarkson The Fray, The Fray Funhouse, Pink
Record of the Year “Halo,” Beyoncé
“I Gotta Feeling,” The Black Eyed Peas WINNER: “Use Somebody,” Kings Of Leon
“Poker Face,” Lady Gaga
“You Belong With Me,” Taylor Swift
Best Comedy Album Back From The Dead, Spinal Tap WINNER: A Colbert Christmas: The Greatest Gift Of All!, Stephen Colbert
Internet Leaks, ”Weird Al” Yankovic
My Weakness Is Strong, Patton Oswalt
Suckin’ It For The Holidays, Kathy Griffin
Tall, Dark & Chicano, George Lopez
Best New Artist
WINNER: Zac Brown Band
Keri Hilson
MGMT
Silversun Pickups
The Ting Tings
Best Dance Recording “Boom Boom Pow,” The Black Eyed Peas
“When Love Takes Over,” David Guetta & Kelly Rowland WINNER: “Poker Face,” Lady Gaga “Celebration,” Madonna
“Womanizer,” Britney Spears
Best Electronic/Dance Album WINNER: The Fame, Lady Gaga Divided By Night, Crystal Method One Love, David Guetta Party Rock, LMFAO Yes, Pet Shop Boys
Best Country Album The Foundation, Zac Brown Band
Twang, George Strait WINNER: Fearless, Taylor Swift Defying Gravity, Keith Urban Call Me Crazy, Lee Ann Womack
Song Of The Year “Poker Face,” Lady Gaga & RedOne, songwriters
“Pretty Wings,” Hod David & Musze, Songwriters WINNER: “Single Ladies (Put A Ring On It),” Thaddis Harrell, Beyoncé Knowles, Terius Nash & Christopher Stewart, Songwriters
“Use Somebody,” Caleb Followill, Jared Followill, Matthew Followill & Nathan Followill, songwriters
“You Belong With Me,” Liz Rose & Taylor Swift, songwriters
Best Alternative Music Album Everything That Happens Will Happen Today, David Byrne & Brian Eno The Open Door, Death Cab For Cutie
Sounds Of The Universe, Depeche Mode WINNER: Wolfgang Amadeus Phoenix, Phoenix
It’s Blitz!, Yeah Yeah Yeahs
Best R&B Album WINNER: Blacksummer’s Night, Maxwell The Point of It All, Anthony Hamilton Testimony: Vol. 2, Love & Politics, India.Arie Turn Me Loose, Ledisi Uncle Charlie, Charlie Wilson
Best Contemporary R&B Album
WINNER: I Am…Sasha Fierce, Beyoncé Intuition, Jamie Foxx
The Introduction Of Marcus Cooper, Pleasure P Ready, Trey Songz Thr33 Ringz, T-Pain
Best Rap Album Universal Mind Control, Common WINNER: Relapse, Eminem R.O.O.T.S., Flo Rida The Ecstatic, Mos Def The Renaissance, Q-Tip
Best Metal Performance WINNER: “Dissident Aggressor,”Judas Priest “Set to Fail,” Lamb of God
“Senior Peligro,” Ministry
“Hate Worldwide.” Slayer
“Head Crusher,” Megadeth
Best Jazz Instrumental Album, Individual Or Group Quartet Live, Gary Burton, Pat Metheny, Steve Swallow & Antonio Sanchez Brother To Brother, Clayton Brothers WINNER: Five Peace Band — Live, Chick Corea & John McLaughlin Five Peace Band Remembrance, John Patitucci Trio The Bright Mississippi, Allen Toussaint
Best Gospel Performance ”Free To Be Me,” Francesca Battistelli
”Jesus Is Love,” Heather Headley Featuring Smokie Norful
”I Believe,” Jonny Lang With Fisk Jubilee Singers WINNER: ”Wait On The Lord,” Donnie McClurkin Featuring Karen Clark Sheard ”Born Again,” Third Day Featuring Lacey Moseley
Best Latin Pop Album 5to Piso, Ricardo Arjona Te Acuerdas…, Francisco Céspedes WINNER: Sin Frenos, La Quinta Estación Hu Hu Hu, Natalia Lafourcade Gran City Pop, Paulina Rubio
Best Contemporary Blues Album This Time, The Robert Cray Band
The Truth According To Ruthie Foster, Ruthie Foster Live: Hope At The Hideout, Mavis Staples
Back To The River, Susan Tedeschi WINNER:Already Free, The Derek Trucks Band
Best Reggae Album Rasta Got Soul, Buju Banton
Brand New Me, Gregory Isaacs
Awake, Julian Marley WINNER: Mind Control — Acoustic, Stephen Marley
Imperial Blaze, Sean Paul
Best Americana Album Together Through Life, Bob Dylan WINNER: Electric Dirt, Levon Helm Willie And The Wheel, Willie Nelson & Asleep At The Wheel Wilco (The Album), Wilco Little Honey, Lucinda Williams
Best Contemporary World Music Album Welcome To Mali, Amadou & Mariam WINNER: Throw Down Your Heart: Tales From The Acoustic Planet, Vol. 3 — Africa Sessions, Béla Fleck
Day By Day, Femi Kuti
Seya, Oumou Sangare Across The Divide: A Tale Of Rhythm & Ancestry, Omar Sosa
Best Musical Album For Children American Heroes #3, Jonathan Sprout Banjo To Beatbox, Cathy & Marcy With Special Guest Christylez Bacon WINNER: Family Time, Ziggy Marley Great Day, Milkshake Jumpin’ & Jammin’, Greg & Steve Pete Seeger Tribute — Ageless Kids’ Songs, Buck Howdy
Best Classical Album Bernstein: Mass, Marin Alsop, conductor WINNER: Mahler: Symphony No. 8; Adagio From Symphony No. 10, Michael Tilson Thomas, conductor Ravel: Daphnis Et Chloé, James Levine, conductor Ravel: L’Enfant Et Les Sortilèges, Alastair Willis, conductor Shostakovich: The Nose, Valery Gergiev, conductor
Calling all music lovers, the 52nd Grammy Awards are on this Sunday!
Expect a ton of stars to attend and perform: a little Gaga here, some B.E.P. over there, here a Green Day, there an Elton John, everywhere a T-Pain! Not to mention a 3-D tribute (wtf?) to Michael Jackson and a Bon Jovi performance that viewers can determine (how can you consider anything other than “Livin’ On a Prayer”? Vote at CBS.com)!
Beyonce leads the pack with 10 nominations, but folks are predicting that Miss Taylor Swift will be snatching up an armful of clunky, gold, phonograph-shaped trophies for her album Fearless. This has really been Taylor’s year (even the Kayne West/MTV Video Music Awards fiasco ended up being a “Team Taylor!”-rallying blessing for her).
Album of the Year » Beyoncé, I Am … Sasha Fierce » The Black Eyed Peas, The E.N.D. » Lady Gaga, The Fame » Dave Matthews, Big Whiskey and the GrooGrux King » Taylor Swift, Fearless
Record of the Year » Beyoncé, “Halo” » The Black Eyed Peas, “I Gotta Feeling” » Kings of Leon, “Use Somebody” » Lady Gaga, “Poker Face” » Taylor Swift, “You Belong With Me”
Song of the Year » Beyoncé, “Single Ladies (Put a Ring on It)” » Taylor Swift, “You Belong With Me” » Lady Gaga, “Poker Face” » Maxwell, “Pretty Wings” » Kings of Leon, “Use Somebody”
Best Pop Performance by a Duo or Group With Vocals » The Black Eyed Peas, “I Gotta Feeling” » Bon Jovi, “We Weren’t Born to Follow” » The Fray, “Never Say Never” » Hall & Oates, “Sara Smile” » MGMT, “Kids”
Catch the Grammy Awards this Sunday, January 31st, 8PM ET/PT on CBS. And vote in our poll for who YOU’D like to see take home the Album of the Year award!
Golly. It’s been a while since we’ve heard any Mad Men news, isn’t it? Well, I’ve got some goss, and this one’s a doozy.
BAD NEWS ALERT: It seems that actor Bryan Batt, who plays Sterling Cooper’s closeted art director Salvatore Romano on the show, won’t be returning for season number four. He was supposed to be notified of his status by December 31st, and didn’t hear a peep.
To refresh your mem, Sal was fired by Don Draper towards the end of season three (episode 9, to be exact) for not giving into Lucky Strike client Lee Garner Jr’s sexual advances.
Here’s what the brilliant Matthew Weiner, Mad Men creator, has to say about it:
“We don’t murder people on our show, but for there to be any stakes, there have to be consequences … I know how people felt about Bryan. I obviously love working with him, and he has been an indelible character since the pilot. But I felt it was an expression of the times that he couldn’t work there anymore. It’s the ultimate case of sexual harassment.”
You know what? I love Sal to pieces, and I’m really curious to see what happened to him outside that phone booth, but I’m 100% okay with Matthew Weiner’s reasoning. I really admire Weiner’s attention to detail and commitment to period accuracy. This man is a true artist. Nope, you won’t change my mind on this one.
But maybe Bryan Batt will! Here’s what the Romano himself had to say about it:
“Keep those cards and letters coming. Start that Facebook group! There’s a million ways that he can come back, especially if time passes. Don does respect his talent. He is innocent. He did nothing wrong. Of course I would love to come back. It’s a heavenly place to work.”
And guess what? The man asked for a Facebook group, and a Facebook group he shall receive. Facebook user Christina Behnke rose to the challenge and came up with this. Join if you feel strongly enough. I’m staying outta this one.
Whoa! Big news for Ugly Bettyfans today! In a nutshell: the show has been canceled.
ABC announced today that the show - which made America Ferrera a household name - would wrap after the current season mid-April - the show’s fourth. Ugly Betty has reportedly been suffering from low ratings as of late, after having moved to Fridays from Wednesday last fall.
Here’s your obligatory exec statement, from ABC chief Steve McPherson:
“We’ve mutually come to the difficult decision to make this Ugly Betty‘s final season, and are announcing now as we want to allow the show ample time to write a satisfying conclusion. We are extremely proud of this groundbreaking series, and felt it was important to give the fans a proper farewell.”
Yawn. Much better than, “No one watched the show, so we’re canning it,” I suppose.
Who’s gonna miss ole Ugly Betty? I haven’t seen the show in ages, but I gotta say, I love that little braceface.
By now, we all know Dustin Diamond wrote a tell-all book about his years on Saved By the Bell called Behind the Bell that simultaneously grossed us out and made us sad. Not that anyone actually read it.
Except for this 11 Points contributor! You should really check out the long, long list of highlights (eleven, in fact!) they’ve put together, but in the meantime, let me condense them for you in a mostly SFW fashion so you can see if it’s worth your time:
1) Dustin has had sex with over 2,000 women and is well-endowed. Dustin is no Screech Powers.
2) Mario Lopez (a.k.a. A.C. Slater) raped a girl, and NBC paid her to keep quiet.
3) Tiffani Thiessen (Kelly Kapowski) was dating Eddie Garcia, the actor who played Johnny Dakota in the anti-drug episode, while having relations with both Mark-Paul Gosselaar (Zack Morris) and Mario Lopez at the same time.
4) The entire cast was smoking weed during the said anti-drug episode (”Theres no hope with dope!”).
5) Elizabeth Berkley (Jessie Spano) also had relations with both Mark-Paul Gosselaar and Mario Lopez.
6) Lark Voorhies (Lisa Turtle) also had relations with both Mark-Paul Gosselaar and Mario Lopez.
7) Martin Lawrence was abusive to Lark Voorhies when they were engaged (Whoa! Never knew they were together).
8 ) Dustin had sex with Linda Mancuso, NBC’s VP of children’s programming.
9) Mark-Paul Gosselaar confessed to the cast that he had used steroids before Saved By the Bell: The College Years.
10) Ed Alonzo (a.k.a. Max, owner of The Max) used to practice magic tricks with a young Neil Patrick Harris and also get sexy with him.
11) Executive Producer Peter Engel (you’ve seen the name!) used to have threesomes with Tiffani Thiessen and Mark-Paul Gosselaar in his office.
That’s all he wrote. Only Mr. Belding remains unscathed!
Okay, so not to be a total Pollyanna, but I’m assuming just about all this is made up. For one, these lies aren’t even creative. They basically amount to: everyone had sex with each other. And even if it DID happen, who cares? Dustin Diamond is quite simply continuing to reveal himself as the insecure, bitter has-been that we already knew he was.
So the question remains: should we read this? Nah.